


Stage Fright

by spookyjackolantern



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Actor Gabriel, Destiel - Freeform, High School AU, M/M, Musical, Sabriel - Freeform, Stage Crew, stage hand sam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2016-02-26
Packaged: 2018-05-01 19:09:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 55
Words: 61,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5217422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookyjackolantern/pseuds/spookyjackolantern
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Supernatural Sabriel, Destiel au </p>
<p>Sam is a 16 year old sophomore, and a first time member of his high school's run crew. Gabriel is a senior and Danny Zuko in the high school's production of Grease. Sam would be perfectly happy lusting after Gabriel from the shadows of the wings, but when Gabe asks specifically for Sam to be the one to help him do his only quick change of the show, Sam is pulled into the spotlight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Quick Change

Gabriel's skin was like an electrical socket and Sam had been dragging his socks along a carpet all day long. 

Touching him was just as shocking, but less painful. It was more like when your leg falls asleep, the pins and needles kind. Sam's entire body had fallen asleep. The kind where you can't really feel yourself moving, you just feel the needles sticking out of your skin, wherever it's touching something else. It started in the tips of his fingers, where the rough skin of his hands brushed against the soft, warm sides of Gabriel's rib cage as he helped him wriggle back into his shirt. And it spread like wildfire.

The deafening silence brought Sam back. They were waiting for him. They were waiting for Gabriel, and Gabriel was waiting for him. The quick change was over. It was time for Gabriel to race back onto stage in his sweat band and red short shorts to assume the part of Danny Zuko. An entire theater of cast and crew and angry directors waited not so patiently. And Sam couldn't get his shaking hands to let go of the hem of Gabriel's shirt.

Gabe tore away from him and bounded onto stage, picking his bare knees up high as he made his way across to the left wing. He would go back and forth three times before he had any lines. Sam had memorized every movement Gabriel had to take on the stage for the entire length of the show. It was a lot to keep track of, especially since Gabe was a lead, and Sam had other things to keep track of, like what he had to do every blackout. He was a sophomore, and it was his first show as a member of run crew, he couldn't afford to screw it up. One blackout he'd be shoving a jukebox into place, the next he was helping Gabriel out of his clothes.

The most arduous task was remembering when Gabe was relaxing in the green room. Sam would conveniently drop by and grab a handful of pretzels, maybe take a gulp of water before returning to the shadows of the wings. He hoped Gabriel would notice him in there every time, but he could never work up the nerve to look at the senior.

The biggest source of anxiety was the quick change. Sam would hold a flashlight between his teeth as he tugged Gabriel's pants down to his ankles, then slipped a plain white shirt over the senior's head. Sam had to be quick, but the only part of him that was fast around Gabriel was his heartbeat.

As Gabriel ran his second length of the stage and came to turn around the traveler, he winked at Sam. It was quick and subtle, and Sam thought maybe he was seeing things, but at the very least, Sam was sure Gabriel had looked at him.

 

 

Sam had just about finished melting into the floor when the head director called it, ending rehearsal at the generous time of 11pm. They all filed onto the stage so the directors could read them an hour long list of notes, mostly meant for the cast. The crew was very professional, Sam had noticed. And he wanted to stay a part of it. He finally had a family. Sam sat cross-legged, staring at his shoes as they broke each minute of rehearsal down, the hot stage lights beating down on his black clothes, making him sweat.

Before he knew it, everyone was standing up and gathering their things, shoving set pieces back into place or peeling off their costumes. Dean would be waiting outside for him soon. Sam just had to put a few props away, then he'd be home free, away from Gabriel and the best worst thing that had ever happened to him. Now that he had time to think about it, Sam wasn't really sure why he was so upset about being on Gabriel's quick change anyway. If anything, he should be thrilled. Why wouldn't he want to help the ridiculously handsome senior strip down to his underwear, then into bright red booty shorts, a white polo, and a bright red sweatband every night for the next two weeks?  
"You okay there, champ?" a voice said behind Sam, startling him. He nearly dropped the old fashioned glass Coca-Cola bottle he was putting back on the prop table. Sam slowly turned to see Gabriel watching him. "Thought I saw you shaking out there. Just wanted to make sure my favorite crew member was a-okay."

Sam cleared his throat. "Uh, yeah." He held up a thumb and gave Gabriel a shaky smile. "All good."  
"Edlund told me we have to be faster with that quick change. We could practice a bit before we get out of here. That is, if you're not late for anything."

Dean would be waiting. Their dad would be furious if they were even a second late, not that he would necessarily notice anyway. Sam hadn't been home for hours, John could be black out drunk by now. It depended on what sort of night it was, but John's mood swings couldn't reach Sam when he was in the theater. Before Sam could stop himself, he nodded shyly. "Yeah, okay."

And suddenly Sam was in the guy's dressing room, lit by only the mirror lights, after everyone else had packed up and left, alone with Gabriel, helping the senior undress and redress again over, and over, and over. Slowly at first, because his hands were shaking.

The first go was agonizing. It felt like Sam had been fumbling with the shirt for years as Gabriel tugged up the pants. Hoping to get through this correctly, after what seemed like a million tries, Sam got as close as he could to blackout speed.

After a few good goes, Gabriel stopped him. "Again. Slowly." His voice was unexpectedly soft and so close. Sam swallowed hard and reached around Gabriel to hold up the button-down shirt; Gabriel reached back to work his arms into the sleeves, painfully slowly, eyes still on Sam's. And he still had all those buttons to do up while Gabriel fidgeted with his sweatband. He got the first two done up before he remembered to tuck in the shirt as well. Sam slowly, meticulously moved his hands to Gabriel's sides, skimming down over the fabric to his hips. He started working the fabric, and his hands, under the edge of the bright red short shorts. Sam could measure the time in heartbeats, each moment marked by the rush of blood in his ears.

It wasn't until he'd worked his way nearly to the back of the shirt - reminding himself forcefully to breathe, and ignore the sweet smell of Gabriel's skin, so close and warm - that the senior suddenly dropped his hands to his sides and rolled his eyes. "For God's sake, Winchester!"

Sam froze. He had done something wrong. He was in the boy's dressing room way after hours, with his hands down Gabriel's pants, and he'd done something wrong. "Um," he mumbled. He glanced up from the shirt edge to find Gabriel watching him impatiently, almost playfully.

"Would you just freaking kiss me already?" Sam didn't wait for further invitation.

Then he was stumbling out the stage doors into the bitter mid-March air and across the parking lot, flattening his hair and hoping it was too dark for Dean to tell he'd been kissing someone. Numbly, he climbed into the Impala and felt Dean start the engine.

"How was rehearsal?" Dean asked.

Sam smirked and ran his tongue over his lips. He could still taste Gabriel. He wondered if he'd dreamed it. "It was great," Sam said truthfully. "It's all really coming together."

"I can't wait to see it," Dean responded. "Cas won't shut up about it."

"I know. I spend at least 5 hours here every day, sometimes more, and all Cas has asked me about since January is Grease."

Saying it out loud made Sam warm all over. Musical was such a good thing. He had friends, he had purpose, people respected him. And now he had Gabriel. Or at least, he'd had a few kisses. But nothing could bring Sam down now. He fell asleep that night happier than he'd ever been.


	2. Hopelessly Devoted

The next morning, Sam wandered around the school as if in a daydream, humming "Hopelessly Devoted" to himself and trying not to think about how nice Gabriel's lips fit against his own last night in the dark of the dressing room after rehearsal. He was terribly distracted, jittery and anxious, and he wouldn't get to see Gabriel properly again until Saturday. They had Fridays off to relax, but Saturday they'd be trapped in the theater together for 8 hours at the least.

But Sam didn't think he could relax tonight, with the din going on in his head. He felt guilty pining over the senior, like he was unworthy of Danny Zuko's attention, or affection, but his unexpected crush seemed forcibly inevitable, as crushes so often are. He felt something last night, he just didn't know if Gabriel felt it too. How could he not have? Sam thought. But then again, Sam was always jumping the gun.

In every class Sam found himself lost in thought, worrying about what he'd do on the off chance he ran into Gabriel in the halls. Or, rather, more worryingly, what Gabriel would do.

"Sam, are you listening to me?" Castiel asked, struggling to keep up with Sam's long, lanky strides.

Sam jolted out of his thoughts and slowed to match Cas's pace. "Sorry, what?"

The senior sighed. "I was saying that I bought Dean and I tickets for the opening show on Thursday. We got 3 but..."

Sam shook his head. "He won't come. You should give the ticket to Meg. I know she likes you."

"She's... not really my type. I don't want to lead her on."

"You can't be friends?" Sam pointed out, wondering how Cas and Dean had kept their relationship under his father's nose for so long. Dean would never admit it, and had probably sworn Castiel to secrecy, but even if their relationship was publicly known Sam wouldn't hear much about it. He doesn't hang around Cas's friends much, Gabriel included. He wasn't part of that group. He would never hear about it at home either. Dean isn't one to share the mushy gushy details and according to him, he and Castiel were only friends. It was fun to pretend he didn't know about their relationship every once in a while though, watch them squirm.

"Subtext," Dean had told him once, after Sam had overheard him talking to Cas on the phone one night. "Some things are obvious to anyone as long as they're paying attention. It's all about being casual. Like I said, subtext. There are just a few people you have to hope don't have the attention span to read into it."

Sam was starting to think that perhaps he could learn something from his brother's secret boyfriend. As soon as he thought it, he regretted it. He couldn't afford to have a crush on Gabriel. Even if he liked Sam back, the guy was too popular. Sam was just a quiet sophomore, insignificant, never destined to be in the spotlight. That's why he was on run crew.

You hang out with Castiel, Sam's heart reminded him. But he is involved with your brother, that's probably why Cas even notices you, his brain cut in. The war in his head subsided a bit as he continued their conversation.

"Okay, then how about Hannah?"

"Maybe," Castiel grumbled. "Though, I don't think Dean likes her very much."

Sam frowned. "Well, it doesn't matter anyway. I'm just glad you and Dean can make it."

"We wouldn't miss it for the world, Sam," Cas said, clapping him on the shoulder before slipping into his calculus classroom.

Sam spent the rest of the day in a haze. He was only able to focus in gym, and even then he was only focused on Gabriel, who sat across the room with his class, not even noticing Sam. Part of Sam was unspeakably relieved that Gabriel changed for gym in the other locker room. He wasn't sure how he'd react being so close to Gabriel's so nearly naked body again, though he'd have to do it again tomorrow anyway, in the shadows of the wings. And he was sure if they did share a locker room, Gabe would make some kind of joke like, "Hey, you did a pretty good job dressing me yesterday at rehearsal, Sam. Wanna put my gym uniform on for me, too." Sam hadn't signed up for the quick change in the first place, but he really hadn't signed up for public humiliation.

 

Sam climbed into the Impala after the last bell feeling somber.

"Hey, Sammy. How was school?" Dean asked from the driver's seat, The Eels playing softly on the radio.

Sam shrugged, still distracted. "It was..." he sighed, "school."

Dean chuckled as Cas climbed into the passenger seat. "Hey, angel," Dean said under his breath, but Sam wasn't paying attention anyway. He was scanning the senior parking lot, looking for Gabriel. But Dean had parked too far away.

"You got somewhere to be, Sammy? Take your coat off, stay awhile," Dean growled as the Impala roared to life.

Sam suddenly became aware of his gaping mouth. He shut it so fast he bit his tongue. He glanced up to see Dean's eyes watching him in the rear view mirror, then looked down at his hands coiled in his lap.

"No, no. I just... I thought I saw someone I knew," Sam mumbled.

"You go to school here, Sammy. You probably know a lot of people-"

"I bought tickets for Grease today, Dean. Thursday night, 8 o'clock," Cas cut in. Sam thanked him silently.

Dean glanced at Cas. "Great. I'll drop Sammy off then swing around and pick you up around 7-"

"I got three tickets."

Dean's face changed. "Cas-"

"Ask him."

"Cas-"

"Please, Dean-"

"Cas, he won't come. You know he won't come."

Cas sighed and wet his lips. "Just ask him. For me."

"There's no point, Cas. He doesn't like schools. He doesn't like musicals. He doesn't like... school musicals..."

"That's not what you were gunna say."

"What?"

"School musicals. That's not what you were gunna say. You can say it, Dean. I'm a big boy. I can handle it."

Dean pulled up next to Cas's house. He looked at Cas so intensely Sam wished he could disappear. He didn't feel right infringing on their moment.

"He doesn't like you," Dean whispered.

Cas smiled a broken smile. "I'll talk to you later, Dean." He gathered his things and climbed out of the car. He leaned into the open window. "Ask John," he said pointing at Dean's chest. "Have a good day off, Sam," he smiled before traversing through his yard and in through the tan front door.

"Are you gunna do it?" Sam asked innocently, feeling like a child again in the back of the Impala, only now his feet could touch the ground and Dean was legally in the driver's seat.

Dean sighed. "Yeah." He ran a hand over his face before putting the car into drive. "Yeah, I will."  
"I'm sorry," Sam muttered, because he didn't know what else to say. He didn't want this to be on Dean. He didn't need his dad there. Yeah it hurt, it hurt like hell, but all Sam ever needed was Dean. Cas's heart was in the right place, as it so often is, but this was a lost cause. And there was no need for Dean to get anxious over it. Sam thought that maybe the conversation between Dean and Cas might have been less heated if he weren't there, if they could touch and kiss and make up, and say things they wouldn't say around Sam.

Dean was quiet for a long time. After what felt like forever, he glanced at Sam in the rearview mirror and growled, "Thanks, Sammy."

They didn't talk for the rest of the way home.


	3. Red Handed

Saturday for Sam began with a large cup of coffee with an extra shot of anxiety. The day was unpredictable. What would happen in the next 8 hours? What would Gabriel say, or do? Would he say anything? Did he do this often? Was it a weekly occurrence for Gabriel to flirt with the nearest living thing and spirit them away to a dark corner? Sam had no idea.

Dean pulled up next to the stage doors at 9am exactly and Sam slipped in through the doors, propped open by a wood block.

Sam had only missed a few minutes of lecture when he snuck into the theater seats next to his run crew friends. "About time you showed your face, Winchester," Zach, the head stage manager hissed at Sam as he took his seat.

"You're not late," Sam's friend Anna muttered next to him. She was a junior with bright red hair. She always seemed to be passing out and having health problems. Sam wasn't sure a high anxiety thing such as theater was the best thing for her, but she kicked ass on stage. Sam was sure she'd be stage manager next year. She went on. "I mean, you're right on time. Not to make you sound late, and not for nothing, but Gabriel has been asking for you all morning. And by all morning I mean for the past half hour. What's up with that?"

Sam frowned and shrugged, hoping he didn't look guilty. He probably failed; he wasn't a cast member for a reason. "I mean, I'm on one of his quick changes but other than that..."

Anna frowned too, not looking at him. "Sounded urgent." Sam heard a bit of a grin in her voice.  
Sam blushed hard, remembering Thursday night. He wanted to be hopeful but he'd heard so many things about Gabriel, and it seemed too good to be true that such a popular guy would actually like sad, quiet, pathetic Sam Winchester. He didn't want to think about the quick change right then. It would only make him think about that night in the dressing room and... he was overthinking things. Nothing happened, he told himself. Go on like nothing happened.

But Gabriel was asking for him. All morning, apparently. Sam opted to remain optimistic, even if it did end up costing him his feelings. As soon as he thought it, he realized he was in way too deep.

The directors sent everyone on stage to do a quick run through and work out any major kinks that needed smoothing over. Sam was lounging on the hood of Greased Lightning while they ran through "Freddie, My Love" a million times when Zachariah came by distractedly, clipboard in hand, looking awfully distraught.

He paused when he noticed Sam doing a whole lot of nothing and pointed a slim finger at Sam's face. "Winchester, what are you doing?"

Sam frowned. "Nothing."

"Great. The picnic tables need to be painted red," Zach barked, then stormed off in the other direction.

Sam sighed and padded off to the set room, where the freshly primed picnic tables sat awaiting their new paint job.

It was never fun getting things done alone in stage crew. Stage crew kids are notorious for disappearing whenever something needs to get done. Sam wasn't very good at that, so he was always stuck doing the jobs no one wanted. He wondered what poor soul Zach caught and forced to prime the picnic tables as he opened a can of bright red house paint and started stirring it. Among the worst jobs Sam had were priming, wood graining, re-canvasing flats, and his least favorite, sanding. He knew the underclassmen had the worst pick of jobs but this was ridiculous.

Sam had just wet his brush when he felt eyes on his back. "Are you always given the grunt work, Winchester?" Gabriel asked from the door. Sam turned to look at him. He was wearing nothing but boxers. 

One of the worst things about cast members is that they have no boundaries. They spend months rehearsing and basically living together in the same few rooms that they're comfortable enough to walk around nearly butt naked, no problem. It was a little overwhelming to Sam, seeing as it was only his first year. However, someone like Zach, who was a seasoned veteran, wouldn't give Gabriel walking around in his boxers a second thought.

"Do I have food on my face or something?" Gabe asked when Sam didn't respond.

Sam started. "Oh, no! Sorry, I guess I'm just half asleep. And to answer your earlier question... Uh, yeah. Always."

Gabe jumped up to sit on the counter, pushing a drill out from under his butt. Sam squirmed on the ground, uncrossing his legs, then crossing them again. "That's not very fair," Gabriel said, almost pouting.

Sam shrugged. "Yeah, well, I'm an underclassmen. So..."

"Who's responsible for this?"

Sam's eyes widened. Would he actually yell at Zach for me? Of course not. "Uh... Zach."

Gabe sighed dramatically. "Well, I have no authority over him. He's basically a director himself. So, I guess you're just gunna have to tough it out, kid."

Sam nodded and went back to painting. Gabe jumped down from the counter to sit on the floor with Sam.

"Careful," Sam cautioned. "There's probably, like, nails and screws and stuff down here."

Gabriel laughed. "Don't worry, Sam. I won't get a screw in my ass."

"There's also paint. So..."

"Sam Winchester, is that a threat?"

Sam was painfully aware that they were flirting. He tried to keep it going, not screw it up.

He shrugged, running the paint brush over his palm, staining it red. "That depends."

Gabe smiled. "On what?"

"On if you keep distracting me or not."

"Sam, if you want a distraction, all you have to do is ask."

And just like that, they were kissing again. In broad daylight. Sam felt naked with the set room door blatantly open like that, and Gabe's hand on his cheek as they kissed. It was a deeper kiss than Thursday's, more meaningful. Sam was weak, he wanted more, but he heard someone coming.

Sam pushed out of the kiss with his painted hand on Gabriel's bare chest. "We're gunna get caught!" Sam whispered heatedly. All of Gabriel was so warm, so soft, Sam never wanted to stop kissing him.   
But Anna walked in then, with a 2 by 4 under her arm. She grabbed a pair of safety glasses and turned on her heel before she noticed the two boys sitting on the floor. Gabe jumped to his feet, and Sam ripped his hand away from him, leaving a red hand print on his chest, just over his heart.

"Ooh! Caught red handed, I see," Anna mused as she moved around them and set up her 2 by 4 in the table saw. "Glasses on!" she yelled as the machine roared to life. Sam slipped his glasses over his eyes.

"I guess I should probably have a shirt on," Gabriel said awkwardly. It was the first time Sam had ever seen him less than collected. Sam had done that. Sam had flustered him.

Anna looked Gabriel up and down once before smiling to herself and continuing her work. "Nah, you're good."


	4. The Boy's Dressing Room

It was only noon when Sam had finished painting those goddamn picnic tables, cleaned his brush, and tightly closed the paint can with a mallet. It had been 3 hours since Dean had dropped him off. And he wouldn't be heading home for at least another 9 or 10. Sam had a long time to face what had happened with Gabriel head on. To think about it, and wonder about what was to come, what had happened to make the stars align in this way. There was no avoiding it. The evidence was all over Gabriel's chest. And the mirror's, Sam learned, in the boy's dressing room.

So they hadn't had been as careful as Sam thought. That night, Gabriel had pushed him up against the mirror. Sam had dropped his hands behind him for a moment, to catch himself. And Gabriel had put his hands on the mirror on either side of Sam's head, caging him in. And they had left hand prints all over the mirror. I guess we both figured being there after everyone had gone was safe enough, Sam thought.

But you could tell which hand prints were Sam's. And which ones were Gabe's. But the difference was, Gabriel was lounging around with Sam's bright red hand print splayed proudly across his chest right in front of the wall of mirrors. And he was helping everyone figure out who the hand prints belonged to. Sam thought it was a risky game for someone who had tried so hard to hide what they'd done.

Sam had gone into the boy's dressing room to track down a missing prop. Someone had taken a Coke bottle and Zach told Sam to go find it. More like ordered. But everything was an order when Zach was talking to Sam.

Sam pushed into the room easily, weaving through the cast members assembling their costumes or applying makeup, avoiding inhaling the vulgar stench of costumes, stale pizza, and BO. The director had announced that curtain call was in an hour. Sam still hadn't spotted the missing prop when Gabe had spotted him.

"Hey! Sam! My favorite crew member!" He was still nearly naked, and Sam could still taste the ghost him on his lips. Sam collected himself, and turned to look at Gabriel, laughing in the corner with his friends. "C'mere, Sam!"

Sam shuffled over to the group of them, sprawled out on a mix of the floor and the few flimsy chairs they had. Gabriel was lounging in a chair, leaning it back against the mirror, his and Sam's grubby hand prints displayed over his head.

"Did you need something?" Sam asked, trying not to sound annoyed. He was still wary about seeing Gabriel like this in person, so his guard was up big time.

Gabriel smirked. "Just wanted to see your beautiful face, Winchester." Everyone laughed. Sam blushed.

"Alright, well, have any of you seen a Coca-Cola bottle? Someone took one off the prop table and-"

"Sam, we were just trying to figure out who's hand prints these are," Gabriel cut in. "Any ideas?"

Sam pulled up short. Gabriel was doing this to mess with him. He wanted to watch Sam squirm. And squirm, Sam did.

They were his, and he knew it, but Sam shrugged. "Nope."

Sam turned to find the prop he needed, but Gabriel's voice called him back to the conversation. "We know they're not your's, Winchester. Cus we got some proof right here," Gabe said pointing to his still red chest. Sam blushed deeper. "So that's one less suspect."

Balthazar, another senior, laughed at Sam's feet. He reached up and grabbed one of Sam's hands. "Damn, Winchester!" Balthazar yelled. "No wonder your quick change with Gabriel takes so long! You got boats for hands!"

Sam tore his hand away from Bathazar and stepped away from the group. They were all laughing. Sam was not.

Mercifully, he spotted the Coca-Cola bottle on his way out of the dressing room.

Sam ate his lunch by the pit with Anna and a short Asian boy named Kevin at lunch break. He knew Gabriel would be in the green room with everyone else and he couldn't bear to deal with him outside the safety and darkness of the wings.

"So what's up with you and Gabriel?" Anna asked innocently, kicking her heels against the wall of the pit. Sam was sitting cross legged next to her, and Kevin was ten feet below, sprawled on the dirty floor of the pit, between the chairs and the music stands, his hand on his stomach.

Sam didn't answer for a while. He tried to focus his emotions on his empty stomach and reached for another slice of the pizza the directors had bought everyone.

Finally, he shrugged. "I don't know. It's kind of complicated."

Kevin burped. "Wait, wait. Catch me up. I hate being on stage left. All the drama happens on stage right. I'm missing everything."

"Should of thought about that when you ditched the day we did wing assignments because you just had to study for that Calc test, nerd," Anna teased.

Kevin wrinkled his nose. "Well excuse me for being careful about the significant lead I have over our beloved Sam Winchester in the class rank department. Speaking of Sam, don't change the subject. What's happening with Gabriel?"

Sam shrugged again. "I told you, I don't really know."

"Well you didn't seem very confused in the set room this morning. Gabriel did. Which is why this is weird," Anna said.

Sam was gnawing on the crust of his pizza now. "I mean... Wait, what did you see, Anna?"

Anna frowned, brushing her red hair out of her face. "Oh, um just you and Gabriel sitting on the floor kissing-"

A bomb went off in Sam's chest. "Wait, you saw that?!"

"Holy crap!" Kevin said, sitting up abruptly.

Anna shrugged. "It seemed like you were both into it. Who am I to judge?"

Sam ran his hands through his hair. "Alright, but you two are the only two that know, okay?"

"What do you mean?" Anna asked. "Why is it a big deal?"

Kevin smiled. "Because it wasn't a one time thing, was it? Come on, Sam. Give us the details."

Sam blushed. "Alright, maybe not the details but... there was one other time..."

Anna hopped excitedly. "Ooh! I knew it!"

Sam looked at her warily, but continued. "Thursday night, after everyone left-"

"That's all I gotta know about that story," Kevin interrupted.

"Oh, shut up, Kevin," Anna said, throwing a piece of pizza crust at him. "So, what? Are you guys like a thing now?"

Sam sighed. "I don't know. I don't really wanna be. He's just so popular. I get the feeling that if this is a regular thing, it'll go public fast."

"Why is that such a bad thing?" Anna said.

Sam sighed again and laid back on the blonde hardwood. "It's just that... my brother would find out somehow. Which wouldn't be such a bad thing but... my dad might find out too. And that wouldn't be good. I don't wanna ruin what I have here. Musical is the best thing that ever happened to me. And I don't wanna lose it forever."

"It's not the end of the world, though. It's just a relationship, maybe," Kevin chimed in.

Sam chuckled. "You don't know my dad. John Winchester is an unforgiving, impulsive asshole. The only time I've ever felt like a part of a family, like I was home, is here. And if he knew about me and Gabriel, whatever we are, he'd tear it to shreds."

Anna clapped Sam on the knee. "Sounds like you got a lot of thinking to do. And maybe the first step is finding out where you stand?"

"Yeah, man. What are you doing talking to us loners? Go talk to Gabriel," Kevin advised.

Sam sat up again. "I would but... he's never alone."

"Really?" Anna said incredulously. "He got you alone pretty easily, didn't he? And on more than one occasion."

Sam shook his head. He was gunna talk to Gabriel. He wasn't sure he'd have anything to offer once he got the guy alone and started trying to talk. But he had to try. He had to figure this whole thing out. That's the only way he'd have control over it. Sam had two really good things here and he didn't want to jeopardize either. And the only way to keep both was to be careful. And to be careful, he had to have control.

Sam wished he could just keep making out with Gabriel whenever the opportunity presented itself. But it didn't look like he'd be so lucky.


	5. Daddy Issues

When they had finally gone through notes and been dismissed it was rounding on midnight. Sam tried to find Gabriel but he never intersected the senior again that night. He would talk to him in the morning. Tomorrow was the senior brunch, where all the senior's parents came in and ate with the cast and crew, then watched the very first dress rehearsal. It was very exciting, and scary. It was almost for real. But not quite.

When Sam had finally gathered his things and went out to the parking lot, he was surprised to find Castiel waiting for him in his parents' mini van. "Sam," Cas called out the open window. Sam walked over to the car to talk to him. "Dean asked me to drive you home."

"Okay," Sam said awkwardly, and climbed into the passenger seat.

They were quiet for almost the entire drive.

When Cas pulled onto Sam's street he flicked the lights off and pulled up to the curb in front of the house, stopped the engine. Cas turned to Sam. "Listen, Sam. I don't know what's happening. All I know is that Dean asked me to come get you tonight. Your dad is home, sober, and not very happy. I don't know, that's all I gathered from Dean's voicemail. Anyway, he told me to tell you that your dad thinks you didn't sleep well the night before, so he isn't to disturb you tonight. He said you'd know what to do."

Sam nodded. "Thanks, Cas."

Cas nodded back. Sam opened the car door and started to climb out. "Oh! And Sam," Cas said. "Tell Dean that... he doesn't have to ask his father about the tickets. I'll find someone else."

"Okay."

"Goodnight, Sam."

"Goodnight, Cas."

 

Sam did know what to do. He went in through the front door. It was a clear shot to the stairs from there and John would most likely be in the kitchen or living room, which wasn't visible from the foyer. More than that, Dean had greased the door hinges, so it was almost completely silent.

Sam made it in smoothly, opening and closing the door with ease. He took his shoes off and began to tip toe in his socks across the hard wood to the stairs. The house was dark, but he could hear talking from the other room. It was either Dean and John or John was watching TV. Sam figured it didn't really matter which.

He had made it cleanly up the stairs when a hand grabbed his forearm and tugged him into the other room.

It was hard to see in the dark, but it was Dean. He had clamped a hand over Sam's mouth and closed the door. Once the door was shut, he let Sam go. "Sorry, Sammy. Just a little insurance."

Sam relaxed and dropped all of his things on his bed. "It's fine," he said.

"So Cas was there to get you?"

"Yep."

"And did you thank him?"

"Of course."

"Good."

Dean sat down on his bed opposite Sam's. Sam sat too, just now realizing how tired and sore his muscles were. He'd been up and about all day, he hadn't realized how tired he was. "So how was rehearsal?" Dean asked.

"Alright. By the way, Cas said you don't have to ask Dad about the tickets. He's gunna ask someone else. Speaking of which, why did Cas tell me Dad sounded furious on the voicemail you left him?" Sam asked, trying to keep his voice down.

Dean shrugged. "He's sober, that's why. I think he's asleep now, though. He got all his energy out on me before you got home, thank God."

"What was he mad about?"

"He may have overheard me talking to Cas on the phone."

"I'm sorry."

Dean sighed. "S'not your fault, Sammy. I was using the line when Dad called to say he'd be home. I haven't been careful enough with Cas lately. I've been slipping up, leaving evidence. I'm getting sloppy, Sammy."

"So what did he have to say?"

"Just lectured me. The usual. The bottom line is, don't get anyone pregnant!" Dean joked, imitating John's voice.

Sam laughed. "Sorry I missed it."

"Yeah you're too busy writing your name in lights, huh? I'm really proud of you for doing this, Sam."  
Sam closed his eyes and smiled. He was wrong before. He did feel at home with one other person. His older brother, Dean.

"Thanks, Dean."

Dean nodded. "Hey, so what time do you have to be at rehearsal tomorrow morning?"

"Uh, the brunch starts at 11 but Zach said to be there by 10 to do some finishing touches."

Dean climbed into his covers and Sam followed suit. "So I'll wake you at 9 then?"

"9:30," Sam said.

"Sam, you haven't showered since Thursday. You're getting up at 9."

Without another word, Dean rolled over. Sam didn't argue.

 

It was strange going from hush-hush, sneaking around in the darkness of his house to the hustle and bustle of the theater. It was like coming up out of the water. It's silent for a while, when you're still under the waves, but as soon as your ears clear its chaos. Sam went from 0 to 100 that morning. It certainly woke him up.

And from there it went from 100 to 200. He got to the theater and was immediately put to work. There were apparently a lot of finishing touches. It was complete chance that Sam had run into Gabriel in the hall alone just as everyone was going down to brunch.

"Good morning, Sunshine," Gabriel smiled as he walked toward Sam. "I haven't seen you all morning."

Find out where you stand, Sam thought. He smiled sheepishly. "Actually, could I talk to you for a minute?"

Sam glanced up and down the hallway before grabbing for the handle of the faculty bathroom. Only the directors could use it; it was connected to their office and was locked almost 24/7. Sam was pleasantly surprised when the handle turned under his hand. Glancing around one more time, he pulled Gabriel inside behind him.


	6. No One Has To Know What We Do

Sunday's were Dean's favorite. His father was gone, Sammy was at rehearsal, and he was with Cas in the best kind of way. All was well.

They were in the back seat of the Impala, parked in the side lot of a K Mart. It wasn't the classiest place to make out, not that any place is technically classy, but they had yet to be caught there. And being careful was more important than being classy.

Dean supposed they could probably go to his house, seeing as no one was home and they'd probably be more comfortable. But there was something exciting about doing it this way. It was almost like they'd been on a date. A real date. Like Dean had picked Cas up and taken him to dinner and they had found themselves pulling into the nearest parking lot, making out under light of the street lamps until they were caught. And besides, he loved the way Cas moved in the cramped back seat of the car, gently but with purpose, like he was worried about messing something up. Their kisses were more meaningful, more tender. They both felt like they could let go.

"My parents think I'm helping teach Sunday school right now," Cas mused, his voice husky, lips brushing ever so slightly against Dean's.

One other thing Dean loved about these Sundays in the Impala was how close they had to be. There was nowhere for either of them to go, no room to pull away. Each of their respective personal bubbles fused into one, all that pointless empty space dissolving between them as they melted into each other. It was just Dean and Cas and an impossible lack of oxygen. It was sweat and skin and lips. It was intoxicating.

Dean kissed Cas gently, minutely, before pulling back enough to look at him properly. Cas was laying across the back seat, Dean on top of him. Another perk of spending Sunday's in the Impala: Cas's eyes turned this impossibly deep shade of blue in the Impala, the dark leather reflecting in his irises. Dean smiled lazily.

"Well, you're certainly doing God's work, Cas. That's for damn sure," he growled.

Cas smiled. "I just wish we didn't have to sneak around so much."

Dean pressed his lips to Cas's before pulling away again. He shook his head. "I don't mind it. It's like you're my little secret. Like you're all mine."

"I am yours, Dean. But I can be yours on a couch, or maybe a bed..."

Dean looked away. "I just... I haven't been as careful as I should have been with you lately. I would love to bring you to my empty house, and make out with you on my empty couch, or my empty bed. But I don't think I should risk it. I don't wanna lose what I have with you, Cas."

Cas sat up, the bare skin of his back peeling away from the soft leather, and kissed Dean on the cheek. "I know. I'm sorry," he whispered, kissing Dean's neck and his collar bones.

"It's not your fault, Cas," Dean mumbled. "It's not your fault."

 

 

Sam fumbled for the light switch. When he found it, the fluorescent lights flickered on, and Gabriel was leaning against the wall absentmindedly inspecting his finger nails. Sam hadn't realized how light Gabriel's hair was until now; they were just coming out of a dark, cold winter and Gabriel's hair hadn't really looked blonde since September. Sam cleared the lump in his throat. Where do you stand?

"So, you wanted to talk to me, Sammy boy?"

Sam nodded, locking the door for good measure. "I just... I'm just kind of confused," Sam admitted, avoiding Gabriel's eyes, which were a soft hazel green, Sam couldn't help but notice. It was hard not to notice little things about Gabriel in such close quarters, especially when they weren't kissing, or at least within a yard of each other.

Gabriel held up his hands. "You seemed pretty into it to me-"

"No," Sam said, rolling his eyes. "I mean... I'm confused about... this." Sam motioned between the two of them. "What are we doing? Is this just like... a fling? Or something more?"

"Does it matter?"

Sam drew in a breath. "I would just... I'd like to know if it's worth protecting."

Gabriel crossed the bathroom to Sam. Sam finally looked him in the eyes. Gabriel spoke quietly, and low in his throat. "I think so."

Sam was barely able to breathe. Gabriel was so close to him, so close that the smell of cinnamon on his skin was beginning to overwhelm the cleaning product that was no doubt slathered about the pristine bathroom. "So are we..." Sam trailed off, unable to go on.

Gabriel pulled Sam's face down to his, and Sam found himself instinctively moving his hands to rest on Gabe's hips. "I think so," Gabriel whispered against Sam's lips, hot breath tickling his skin.

They were so close, and so impossibly alone, and Sam couldn't help it anymore. He kissed Gabriel like he never intended to stop. They'd shared two kisses before, and Gabriel had initiated all of them. But Sam had started this one, and he wasn't sure he could ever stop.

And every hair on Sam's body stood on end. And a fire in his stomach lit, half nerves and half excitement. Gabriel parted Sam's lips and kissed him deeper, pushing Sam against the door.

It was a long time before they fell away from each other, but Gabriel stepped away from Sam. Not that Sam could go much of anywhere, pressed against the door.

"We should probably go to the brunch," Sam said shyly. He wasn't entirely sure that what had transpired was real.

"We should definitely go to the brunch," Gabriel said, inspecting his nails again. "I have to introduce my parents to my new boyfriend, after all," he teased.

A red flag went up in Sam's mind. "Whoa, hey. Maybe we... don't... make this public..."

Gabriel looked at Sam a long time. "Of course not," he said absently. "No, yeah. I understand."

"It's just, Cas would find out, then Dean would find out. And I don't think Dean would say anything but... I can't risk it. I'm sorry," Sam said.

Gabriel smiled. "Hey, it's more fun this way anyway. No one has to know what we do. A secret. I love it."


	7. The Senior Brunch

Was this really happening? Sam thought. Gabriel had called him his boyfriend. I must be dreaming. But normally his dreams about Gabriel were filled with anxiety and fear. Gabriel made him nervous, that was for sure. But it was a good kind of nervous when he was conscious. He felt butterflies in his stomach. When he dreamt, he felt bees.

How had he been so lucky? Was he just at the right place at the right time? From what rumors Sam had heard, Gabriel was a bit of a flirt. So was Sam just another guy to him? How many people had he whisked away to the dark, lonely corners of the theater and made out with? If not Sam, would it have been someone else?

Alright, so he was overthinking things. They were in high school. And it's not like he could have a really serious relationship anyway. Like Dean and Cas. They weren't that serious. Or maybe they were. Maybe Sam would know better if they weren't forced to keep it all a secret. Sam had started up a slippery, slippery slope, it seemed.

"Whoa, you look like you just had sex," Kevin said, a bit too loud, when Sam sat down with his friends in the cafeteria.

Anna hit Kevin's shoulder. "What?" Sam blurted out, snapping back into reality. "Why-why would you say that?"

Kevin smirked at his yogurt. "You're acting like it too..."

Anna sighed dramatically. "It's just your hair," she said, leaning across the table to ruffle it back to its usual less-all-over-the-place style.

Sam sighed, self conscious, running his hands through his hair. "I talked to him," he mumbled.  
Anna grinned. "And?"

Sam just nodded vigorously. He didn't really feel anything on the surface about it yet. It had become official only minutes before and he had been thrown straight back into a social situation. Sam needed a minute to clear his head, to calm down, think about what had happened, and collect himself. But he wouldn't get a minute alone until at least 5 or 6 tonight. And even then, Dean would probably want to talk to him. Sam let out a shaky breath.

Anna smiled with her teeth this time. "Well... congrats!"

"Why do I feel like you're not excited?" Kevin asked.

Sam grit his teeth, rubbing the back of his neck. "No, no. It's just... It hasn't really sunk in yet, ya know?"

Anna nodded sympathetically. "You should probably go get some food before it's all gone," she said. "And get away from Kevin for a while."

"I'm just asking the important questions," Kevin shrugged.

The two of them launched into an argument as Sam left the table, eager to get away from them for a while.

He had only grabbed a cinnamon twist doughnut and some orange juice when Gabriel appeared at his elbow.

"Hey, Sam," Gabriel said, grabbing Sam's wrist. Without another word, Gabe lead Sam away from the buffet and towards the first table. Sam gulped. He had to deal with Gabriel's parents and his friends.  
"SAM!" Regardless of the fact that Sam had maybe said two words to each of Gabriel's friends, collectively no less, they never hesitated to treat Sam as if they'd known him their whole lives. Sam had to admire that. Musical kids had a talent for making everyone feel included. Maybe that's why Sam felt so at home on the stage. It was more about how friendly the people were, and less about the safety of being somewhere other than his house.

And Sam warmed up to them quickly. Gabriel was being more delicate with him, more protective. Gabriel introduced Sam to every single person at the table, and everyone seemed genuinely interested in him. Sam blushed when he realized it was because he seemed important to Gabriel. Gabriel was basically acting like his boyfriend, which was what he was, but everyone had been told that Sam was just Gabe's favorite crew member. And Sam felt more comfortable in all regards because of it.

Everyone was so nice to Sam. He didn't feel isolated, he felt comfortable for once in his life. He wished Gabriel's hand could be around his waste, and not strategically placed on Sam's knee and, more importantly, out of view. But it was nice to be sure of him, to feel the warmth of him so close. And to know that he would be welcome as long as Gabriel was welcome. Their shoulders were pressed together. The close quarters of the cafeteria tables was a nice excuse to be as close to him as possible without sitting in his lap.

Up until now, Sam and Gabriel's little fling had been impossibly rough and horribly, horribly needy. They were just wordlessly revolving around each other in small lonely moments. It was all ghost kisses and shadowy embraces. But now Sam felt like they were in the light. Solid. Everything was lighter and more refined somehow. Gabriel was his for sure, it was official, and everything about the world seemed softer. The fluorescent lighting was easier on Sam's eyes. The cinnamon on his doughnut sweeter, the volume in the room less harsh. And Gabriel's hand on his thigh was comforting rather than anxiety inducing. For once Sam was comfortable around Gabriel. There were butterflies. Just like in his dreams.

Sam felt positively fluffy.

 

 

Gabriel stood next to Sam in the green room that morning, after their stomachs were full of brunch and the house was full of proud parents. The directors ran through their speeches, the actors ran through their vocal warm ups, and they all ran through the traditions together. And Gabriel didn't let go of Sam's hand the entire time.

When the directors had left the green room and everyone had begun hugging, as Sam quickly learned was tradition as well, Gabriel pulled Sam into a hug. "Break a leg," Gabriel whispered in Sam's ear. He had to stand on his tippy toes to do so. Right after, he pecked a kiss on Sam's cheek.

"Break a leg," Sam said back, as Gabriel disappeared into the crowd.

Sam left the green room with butterflies in his stomach and helium in his lungs. He was careful to keep his breathing steady, as he was afraid if he held his breath too long, he might float up to the ceiling.

Gabriel would never be able to reach him from up there.


	8. There Are Worse Things We Could Do

"The inside it just as unimpressive as the outside, I promise," Dean said as he and Cas got out of the Impala.

He couldn't believe Cas had talked him into this. John wouldn't be home for hours but part of Dean still felt like they shouldn't be here. Nothing was safe about this house. It was the last place you wanted to dangle your delicate relationships. Still, there were worse things they could do.  
Cas followed Dean up the front steps and in through the front door. It was a creaky old house, full of shadows and strange noises. Dean didn't feel safe there at all; but he felt safe with Cas. Granted, walking into the house with Cas made him feel naked. And it was better to wish you were naked in the close quarters of the Impala's back seat than to feel naked in a big empty house. Dean wanted to leave.

"Can I see your bedroom?" Cas asked as Dean closed the door behind him.

Dean smirked and kicked his shoes off. "A bit eager, are we, Cas?."

Cas laughed and shoved against his shoulder. "Come on."

He lead the way up the creaky stairs and into the first door on the left. The small room he shared with Sam had almost no belongings in it. There were two twin beds on either wall of the room, a small empty bookshelf, and a desk that Dean was pretty sure only Sam had touched. Other than that, just a few suitcases full of clothes, Sam's backpack, and few stray books littered the room. Also snacks, in case neither of them could chance going down stairs. Cas didn't need to know the specifics. That's another reason they shouldn't have come here.

"You seem worried," Cas said quietly, placing his hand lightly between Dean's shoulder blades. "Nothing's going to happen," Cas promised.

"I know," Dean sighed. "There's just... this energy about this house. I never feel safe here. I feel like I need to be on guard."

In fact, Dean was starting to feel distant. He felt like he and Cas were exploring this house for the first time, as if he hadn't spent a year sleeping on this bed. It wasn't a better feeling than before. Just a different feeling.

"Relax," Cas said, wrapping his arms around Dean's middle. Dean could feel Cas's warm breath on his neck. "I hate seeing you like this," he whispered against Dean's shoulder. 

Normally Cas could soften Dean so easily like this. Dean would just melt in his arms and then Cas could do some melting himself. But Dean was hard as a rock, all kinds of tense. Cas could barely feel him breathing.

Dean turned to look at Cas and placed his hands on his hips. He took a shaky breath. "I'm sorry," he breathed.

Cas placed a butterfly kiss on Dean's lips. "Don't apologize."

"I'm sorry."

"You're stubborn if nothing else, Dean Winchester."

"I'm sorry."

 

 

Sam was so glad he was obligated to wear black. He was so glad he'd spent more time in the theater than his house. He was so glad he knew every nook and cranny of the wings and that Gabriel was as willing to disappear into them as he was.

Sam and Gabe had made out under the risers, in the darkness of the costume room, and on the bench behind the "Drive On In" flat, all before intermission. Sam's lips were all kinds of swollen and he was vaguely aware of a hickey on his collar bone, hiding just under the collar of his shirt. He kept fidgeting with it, worried that someone might see. Nevertheless, he was having a blast.

And Gabriel seemed to be in a glorious mood as well. He couldn't stop smiling. Sam could even feel him smiling while they were kissing, which only made Sam smile too.

"You're cute when you smile," Gabriel mused as Sam played with his hair. They were lounging in the costume room for the fifteen minutes they had during intermission. It was a great place to be; there were multiple rooms, a pretty big couch, and no one would dare go in there. Except, perhaps the directors' sweetheart and lead three years coming Gabriel. Sam was just along for the ride. Kissing ass and having a pretty face definitely had it's perks. And being the boyfriend to that ass-kissing, pretty boy had even more perks.

Sam was sitting on one end of the couch, and Gabriel was stretched out across it, his head in Sam's lap. Sam was twirling Gabriel's golden hair in his fingers. "I am not cute," Sam said in response, almost defensively.

"You're incredibly cute," Gabriel retorts. "You can't honestly believe you aren't cute, dimple boy. If you have dimples, you're damn cute. I don't care how tall and freakish you are."

Sam couldn't stifle his goofy grin.

"There they are," Gabe said, running a finger across one of Sam's dimples. Sam caught the hand and held it to his chest.

When they had to leave each other a few minute later, Sam felt as if he'd stepped outside without a jacket on a cold winter day.

 

 

"How you feeling?" Cas asked as Dean held him against his chest. They lay together on Dean's bed, legs tanlged, after taking advantage of the empty house, to put it simply.

"Better," Dean admitted, a bit of humor coloring his reply.

Cas smiled and turned his head to kiss Dean's neck. "Ya know, before I felt kind of bad about our Sundays. I mean, my parents think I'm teaching children about Jesus when I was actually making out with my secret boyfriend in the backseat of his car in the K Mart parking lot. I felt bad about it because we were sneaking around. But this doesn't feel like sneaking around. This feels like... home."

Dean swallowed hard and Cas felt it. "I shouldn't have brought you here," Dean whispered, after a while. He sat up, gently discarding Cas to the side. Dean threw his legs over the edge of the bed and sunk his head into his hands.

"Dean-"

"Cas, I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For bringing you here. For letting you feel at home in this place. We can't be safe here. We won't be. We should have just kept to our routine. We have to be more careful."

Dean was talking really fast. And he wouldn't stop running his hands everywhere. He wrung them together, ran them through his hair, played with his necklace. Cas didn't know what to say.

"Then we'll leave," Cas offered. "Come on." He got to his feet and began sorting through their clothes, pulling his jeans on. "It's just about 4 o'clock. Sam will need a ride soon."

Dean slipped his arms through his flannel and began buttoning it up methodically. He knew Cas understood how he felt. And he knew Cas was right.

Before they left the house, Dean pulled Castiel into him, kissing him deeply.

"I love you far too much to risk losing you, angel."

"I love you too."


	9. No Sleep For The Infatuated

The costume room had become their special place. They met there any chance they got. And, as Sam had much more down time than the lead role, obviously, he took whatever opportunities he could to nap there. He hadn't been sleeping much since rehearsals really picked up. One, the obvious reason, the long hours that being a part of the musical required. Two, Gabriel. Sam sat up all night daydreaming about what tomorrow might bring. He nearly fell asleep in class daydreaming about the idiot, his idiot. For once in his life, he enjoyed being awake. 

Unfortunately, that meant sleeping any chance he got. Sometimes that meant accidentally falling asleep in his algebra class. It could also mean missing a cue, but that's why Wawa was right across the street; Sam could never make it through rehearsal without some coffee. Come to think of it, maybe that's why he couldn't sleep...

Sam was napping in the costume room before rehearsal that Monday night. He had fallen into a pretty deep sleep when he was kissed awake by Gabriel.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty," Gabe sang, brushing the hair out of Sam's eyes to kiss his forehead.

Sam wiped the drool from the corner of his mouth and sat up. "Ya know, that's a lot more romantic in fictional movies."

Gabriel smirked. "Why are you here so early?"

"I never left," Sam said. "I had stage crew right after school until 5. It's pointless to go home for an hour then come right back, don't you think?"

"Don't you eat?"

Sam laughed. "I don't even sleep."

"So you have absolutely nothing from lunch time until midnight, if you're lucky?"

"No. I eat those sugar cookies with the icing on them that Balthazar's mom always brings."

Gabe rolled his eyes. "So you don't eat anything of substance."

"Sugar is a very important part of a balanced diet."

"Oh, shut up, Winchester," Gabriel complained, putting his hands on either side of Sam's face and kissing him tenderly. He gently touched his forehead to Sam's. "But seriously. I'm bringing you some dinner tomorrow."

"No, you don't have to."

"I insist."

"I also insist."

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Ugh. What are you, five?"

"Don't be such a concerned boyfriend," Sam laughed. "And maybe I won't be such a child."

"Excuse me for caring about your health, Sam," Gabe protested. "And besides, I don't think you could change that about yourself if you tried."

Sam smiled and kissed Gabriel on the cheek. "You don't have to, really," he whispered.  
"Yes, I do," Gabe insisted. "I won't have you passing out on me."

"It's always about the spotlight with you, isn't it?"

"What?" Gabriel laughed. "I can't have you messing up that quick change. Don't forget your training."  
"I'm sorry, I was a little out of it that day. Could you refresh me on that training again?" Sam asked jokingly.

Gabe chuckled. "You're such a dork, Winchester."

And before Sam could defend himself they were kissing. It was a sleepy kiss, as Sam was still waking up. It was cozy; Sam was warm all over, and Gabriel's body against him was even warmer, if that were at all possible, especially since Gabe's red cheeks and nose were clear evidence he had just been out in the cool March air. They only kissed briefly, and calmly, as they had things to do to prepare for rehearsal. But they promised to meet there again the next chance they had.

 

 

Cas was up to his ears in Chemistry homework. He had a lab to write, three outlines to do, and a quiz to study for by Wednesday. All of that, and more on top of it. And he had Dean to occupy. Dean was like a bored puppy, he demanded attention the second he wasn't doing something, and Cas was usually the one who had to entertain him. Cas barely slept anymore, sneaking out with Dean after school, and then staying up into the wee hours of the morning to do his homework. It was slowly killing him. And Dean could tell.

"Let me help you," Dean had offered that Monday. "I know Chemistry."

They were sitting on a love seat at the coffee house in the next town over. Dean's friend Benny was the manager there, but other than that, there was no danger of being caught. Cas's Chem textbook and notebook, and laptop were sprawled all over the table, along with two empty mugs.

Cas rolled his eyes and kissed Dean's temple. "You don't have to, but thank you for offering."  
"Then, put it aside for a minute, okay? Talk to me," Dean hummed, weaving his fingers into Cas's under the table.

Castiel sighed, saved his work, and shut his laptop. "Alright."

Dean smiled warmly. "I haven't seen you look at me in so long I almost forgot what color your eyes were," he joked.

Cas didn't seem in the mood. "Dean, please-"

"Alright, alright. Sorry. I won't waste your time. A real conversation... hmmm... okay, so, uh, how's school?"

Cas resisted the urge to face palm. "It's stressful. How's... not school?"

"Boring. My little brother is always at run crew. My boyfriend is slave to the American education system. Who knows where my dad is? Everyone I normally annoy is too busy for me."

"Oh, you poor baby," Cas said sarcastically, a bit too bitingly. "It must be awful to have nothing to do."

"I offered to help, Cas," Dean pointed out.

Cas sighed and fell against Dean's shoulder. "Ya know, what? You're right, Dean. You've been trying to help all along. The last thing I actually need is a distraction, but it's also the only thing I want. So have at it. Distract me."

Dean smiled and started gathering Cas's books for him.

"Where are we going?" Cas asked, once they were in the Impala.

"Dinner," Dean said simply, neglecting to elaborate.

"Dinner?"

"Yes, dinner. It's dinner time. You'd know that if you didn't spend so much time with your nose in a book."

"Right, let me just fail all my classes."

Dean grimaced. "Damn, you're worse than I thought." Cas started to ask what he meant, but Dean went on. "You gotta relax, Cas."

Cas sighed. Dean was right. He hadn't properly talked to Dean since he'd gotten in the Impala after school that afternoon. They had dinner, and Cas spent more time away from his Chem notes than he had all day. It felt great to look at Dean, and chat with Dean, and be with Dean after being so overwhelmed.

Dean was right.

But it cost Cas a night of sleep he couldn't afford to catch up on. He fell asleep on his textbook at 4am and dreamt of Dean until his alarm went off an hour later.


	10. Home Cooked Meals and Lipstick

It was now Tuesday night, two nights before opening night. That meant there were only two dress rehearsals left, and the hours got longer and longer. The good news was that Sam no longer had stage crew. The bad news was, he had to be at the theater by 5:00pm, and he had just been assigned an English essay due by the end of the week.

Sam had gotten there early anyway. Dean dropped him off on his way to get Cas. Sam was sitting on top of the sound box in the right wing, his legs hanging over the edge, his laptop on his lap as he typed and edited and nitpicked. He was there even before Zach, which was hard to believe.

The next hard thing to believe was that Gabriel was the next to arrive. He wandered in the propped open stage door looking windswept and disheveled in his scarf and coat, with armfuls of clothes, food, and school work. He did a doubt-take into the stage when he spotted Sam and danced over to him. Sam was so caught up in his work he didn't even see Gabe until he dropped all of his belongings on one of the red picnic tables and pulled the top of Sam's laptop down so he could see his face.

"Hey, there," Sam said distractedly.

Gabe dropped a plastic bag on Sam's lap and stood on his tippy toes, trying to reach Sam's face, and failing. The sound box alone was nearly taller than him. "God, you're a freak of nature, Winchester," Gabe muttered, yanking Zach's stage manager chair to the sound box so that he could stand on it and reach Sam. Gabriel kissed his nose, which Sam wrinkled in response.

"What's this?" Sam asked, prodding the bag with his pencil.

"Ma chere, Monsier. It is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight. And now, we invite you to sit back, relax and pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents: your dinner," Gabriel said in a French accent.

Sam had been told they did Beauty and the Beast the year before, and that Gabe had been Lumiere.  
Sam rolled his eyes and smiled, putting his work aside to see what was inside the bag.

"Rigatoni ala Vodka, two slices of garlic bread, and a Diet Snapple half and half. Compliments of Gabriel, you are welcome," Gabe said proudly. "There's also a fork and multiple napkins in there, just in case."

"You really didn't have to do this," Sam protested.

"Don't be ridiculous," Gabriel said absently. He gave Sam a quick peck before hopping off the chair and gathering his things. "That Tupperware better be licked clean the next time I see it."

Sam laughed. "What am I, a dog?" he called after Gabe.

"I mean it, Winchester!" Gabe yelled down the hall.

 

 

"Whatcha got there, Sam?" Kevin asked, poking his nose into the plastic bag Gabriel brought him.  
"Just some dinner," Sam said simply, while Kevin and Anna crunched on their own respective dinners. Everyone was running around setting things up for rehearsal, so they took the opportunity to eat, cramming onto a red picnic table, like every night. Except this time Sam was eating too.

Sam pulled the Tupperware container from the bag and popped it open. It was still warm, and the smell of vodka sauce quickly filled the right wing. "That's not 'just some dinner,'" Anna barked through a mouthful of food, imitating Sam. She swallowed. "That's a gourmet meal!"

"Yeah, man," Kevin chimed in. "Where's you get this?"

He shrugged. "Dean made it. And packed it for me."

"Nuh-uh," Anna insisted. "That's some bullshit, Sam Winchester. Didn't your brother burn down your house making instant mac and cheese when you were kids?"

Sam winced. He hadn't been totally honest about that one, but it was a less depressing substitute to what actually happened. One thing was for sure, though: his relationship with Gabriel would be hard to keep secret (especially if Gabe was going to keep bringing him 5 star meals) so if there was ever a time Sam needed to cover his tracks, it would be now. 

"Yeah, man. You're tellin' tale," Kevin added.

Rolling his eyes, Sam sighed. "Alright, Gabriel gave it to me," he whispered.

Anna did a complete, proper spit take.

Kevin smiled. "I feel like a proud father right now." That was laughable, considering Kevin was at least a head shorter than Sam, and Asain, for that matter.

"Oh, shul up," Sam said, trying to be nonchalant.

"So when do you think Sam's gunna introduce us to his new boy toy?" Anna joked to Kevin, elbowing his shoulder. They both erupted in laughter.

Sam didn't say anything more. He just ate his rigatoni and let himself turn red.

 

They spent this rehearsal the same as the others, meeting secretly in the darkness. It was a bit different, though. Tonight was the first night the directors had allowed the various kisses in the show to happen. There were three kisses in the whole show. Rizzo and Knicki, Patty Simcox and Eugene, and Danny and Sandy. A rather bitchy girl named Ruby played Sandy, and Sam was fairly sure Gabriel hated her, but he couldn't help but be jealous when they kissed.

After the first run through, they ran through "Freddie, My Love" enough times to make Sam never want to hear it ever again. The good news was, he only heard the shadow of it from the darkness of the dressing room. His ears were primarily filled with other sounds, better sounds, like Gabriel's breath and both of their heart beats colliding.

Gabriel was reckless tonight, their teeth clashing together a few times. Sam kept trying to slow him down but Gabriel was relentless. Sam wasn't complaining, but of all the kisses they shared he enjoyed the slower, deeper ones the most. The ones that were careful, and gentle. In those kisses he could taste Gabriel. But with this, it was almost like Gabriel was trying to eat him alive, to swallow Sam without even touching him to his taste buds.

It was frantic. Like Gabriel couldn't kiss Sam fast enough. And of course, Sam couldn't kiss Gabriel fast enough either, but it was more about quality for Sam, not quantity. But Sam couldn't exactly pull away; he was pinned under the senior, the sofa arm uncomfortably crushed under his shoulder bald.

"Stop," Sam mumbled, after a while.

Gabriel pulled away and opened his honey green eyes. Then promptly burst into laughter.

Sam's eyebrows pulled together. "What?" he demanded.

"Sorry, sorry..." Gabriel wheezed, attempting to reign in his laughter. "Oh, Sam. If you could just see your face..."

"What?"

"Sorry. I guess I had some of Sandy's lipstick on my face... But I don't anymore."

Gabriel burst into laughter again and Sam wiped feverishly at his mouth with the black sleeve of his shirt.

Gabe grabbed his forearm to stop him. "Man, crimson is really not your color."

Sam went home that night with red cheeks and red lips. Just another thing he had to worry about. But he never minded the worrying.


	11. King Me

It was now the day before opening night, and everyone was buzzing about it. It hadn't seemed real up until then, but Sam could definitely feel it now. He was in a great mood today. Everyone was excited. He'd get to spend the whole night with Gabriel in the theater, then sleep in the next morning. Every time he thought of it, his stomach flipped.

Dean took Sam and Cas to an early dinner. Sam had to be back at the school by 4:00pm for rehearsal, so they figured there was no point in going home. Sam didn't eat much, however. He knew Gabriel would bring him something, even though Sam had told him not to. The boy was relentless.

Sam walked into the doors 2 minutes late, and as soon as he set foot in the theater, Zach was yelling at him. "Winchester! About time. Get your butt over here."

There were people everywhere, rushing around, making sure everything was set up for the first act. But Zachariah looked absolutely serene. "Yes, Your Highness?" Sam said mockingly, regarding the stage manager. Zach was lounging in his chair, his headset over only one ear, observing his kingdom with satisfaction.

"Can you go find Gabriel for me? The sound guys need him for a mic check."

Sam suppressed his smile, but warmth flared up in his chest anyway. "Sure thing, boss," Sam said before turning on his heel to hunt down the senior.

Sam found him in the makeup room, a horrible, small, beige broom-closet-sized space. It was almost always sweaty, if not because there were more bodies occupying the space than was on par with the fire code, then because the showy round mirror lights were almost never turned off and excreted so much heat Sam was sure if he stood there too long he'd get sunburn. Not to mention the smell was even worse than the dressing rooms; BO and costume stench as per usual, but the added smells of hairspray, makeup, and something Sam could only describe as heat made it almost unbearable.   
"Gabriel-" Sam started to say. 

The senior looked up at him from applying eyeliner to the outer corners of his nose right as one of the sound guys yelled, "Gabriel, we need you for a mic check!" over the speakers.

"What he said..." Sam said sheepishly, pointing into the air behind him.

Gabriel smiled and grabbed Sam by the wrist as he walked out the door. "That was cute," Gabriel hummed as the two of them squeezed through the door together, low enough for only Sam to hear. Once they were in the hallway, Sam shoved his shoulder playfully.

"Aw, when I get done with this, remind me I have food for you," Gabriel said, moving in front of Sam to cut off his lanky strides.

"Alright," Sam said absently, about to turn into the green room, admittedly, to avoid Zach.

"Hey," Gabe said, turning just before the green room door. Sam nearly ran straight into him. "If you're really hungry, you can go get it yourself. It's in the dressing room with the rest of my stuff."

"Alright," Sam said again. He would eat whatever Gabe had cooked up for him. Of course he would. It would be rude not to, wouldn't it? But what Sam really wanted right then was a cookie. And besides, they had all night. He'd just eat dinner later.

 

 

Sam had severely miscalculated how much time he would have "later." He seemed to forget that when he wasn't moving a set or undressing/redressing his boyfriend he was either feverishly writing his essay, or making out with said boyfriend in the costume room.

If Gabe found the dinner he made for Sam uneaten and still in his cubby, he'd be upset for sure.  
The problem was, Sam's mouth was a little occupied at the moment.

They were in the costume room, as usual, on their couch, in one of the back chambers of the over sized walk in closet. The costume room really was excessive. If not for the 20 foot ceilings, Sam would swear the costume room was bigger than the set room. It wasn't a bad thing, though. It meant they had plenty of places to hide.

Today was one of those days where they just laid together. It was hard for Sam not to fall asleep on those days, with Gabe all wrapped around him, his heartbeat warm against Sam's chest. He was so tired, and so comfortable...

It felt like the night before something important. Probably because it was. But Sam couldn't have felt more relaxed about it. He was calm and quiet. And asleep. Gabriel kept trying to keep him up, but Sam was out like a light, three months of intense work and preparation finally catching up with him. Gabriel was sleepy too, but not as much as Sam.

They had some down time, as the Pink Ladies rehearsed the sleepover scene for the 8 millionth time. By the last three nights, they figured they had a good half hour together. This time, they were wrong.  
Gabriel had managed to get Sam's attention for a minute or two, kissing his collar bones, working up his neck until Sam was awake enough to meet his lips. They had been sharing lazy kisses and trading gentle love bites when they heard the door open.

A lot of things happened in the same moment. Gabriel rolled off of Sam's chest and landed bluntly on his ass. Sam sat up so fast that if Gabe had still been on top of him when it happened, he would have been catapulted into the coat rack on the other side of the room. Then, Sam and Gabe lept to their feet at the same time, both looking for something they weren't sure of. An excuse? An exit? And the door to their room swung open, followed promptly by the light switch being flicked on.

And a very amused Ruby stood in the door watching the two of them fumbling. Sam lunged for the nearest prop, snagging a plastic crown from the shelf above the coats. He very awkwardly shoved it in Gabriel's face and yelled, "Found it!"

Gabriel, like the true showman he is, didn't miss a beat. He took the crown and fitted it on top of his head. "Ah, yes," he mused, turning to face Ruby as if he were expecting her. "May I help you, darling?"  
Ruby raised an eyebrow. "You're needed on stage, Your Highness. They're doing Greased Lightning."  
Ruby left quickly.

"Well," Gabriel smiled, turning to Sam, who was blushing and trying his hardest to disappear. "My kingdom needs me," he mused, pushing his crown a bit to the side. He winked. "Nice improv, by the way."

Sam smiled. "Shut up, Your Highness," he said mockingly, nudging up against Gabriel's shoulder. "Best not keep your subjects waiting."

 

 

Sam ate Gabriel's teriyaki chicken stir fry in the wings while watching the T-Birds do flips and cartwheels around a red golf cart. Sam was wearing the crown.


	12. Driven Up The Wall

"Hey, Sammy," Dean growled from the open passenger window of the Impala that Wednesday night, ready to drive Sam home from rehearsal. "Before you get in, I can't drive you in tomorrow. Unless you wanna go in the normal time. But Dad needs some help with a job, so I gotta be out with him by 8 o'clock. So, uh, if you could ask one of your stage crew buddies to drive you in..."

"Sure," Sam said. "I'll be right back."

He was trying to find Anna. He knew she drove to school, and that she didn't live far from him. But instead he found Gabriel, or rather, Gabriel found him.

"I thought you left," Gabriel smiled when Sam came back into the theater. There were still a few stragglers milling around, watching them almost expectantly. Sam hadn't really taken note before, but he realized that this happened whenever Gabe and him were together.

"I, uh, I did. But I just found out I need a ride tomorrow morning. I hate to ask but-" Gabe cut Sam off.  
"What's your address?" Gabriel asked.

Sam told him, and Gabe wrote it on his hand in Sharpie. He told Sam he'd be there by 8:55am to pick him up and, since no one was looking, he let Sam go with a brief kiss.

 

 

"So how was rehearsal?" Dean asked when Sam got back to the Impala.

"Fine," Sam said absently. He didn't want to small talk. But he knew Dean was avoiding it.

"I can't wait to see it. Cas hasn't shut up about it since-"

"Since November, I know," Sam bit.

Dean faltered. "Whoa. What's wrong?"

Sam sighed. "Are you even going anymore? What does Dad need you for?" He couldn't hide how upset he was.

Dean sighed too, dragging a hand across his face. "Listen, Sammy. I'll be back in time, I promise. It shouldn't take more than a few hours-"

"And what if it does, Dean?"

"Then I have three other chances to come see my little brother kick ass in the school musical. I'll be there," Dean said definitely. "I promise."

Sam let go of all the breath he was holding, in anticipation for a fight. He wasn't sure why, the last thing he wanted to do was fight with Dean. It had been a roller coaster night. He just wanted to crawl under the covers, fall asleep, and stop existing for a while. But he couldn't stop thinking about Ruby's eyes scanning his hickey-covered neck. And he certainly couldn't stop thinking about Gabriel.

 

 

"Good morning, Sunshine," Gabriel sang as Sam climbed into his car the next morning. It was 8:55am, just as promised. And the sunlight was all kinds of dreamy, golden and soft, falling sideways, making blonde highlights come out in Gabe's hair. Sam had never seen Gabriel this early in the morning. He'd never seen him this close to the sun. The Thursday and Friday shows were the only days out of the entire musical season where they got to properly see the sun. Other than today and tomorrow, they'd go into school in darkness, and leave in even more of it. Sam's insides warmed when he settled into the car. He felt light and airy, like if he didn't strap himself in, he might float up and out of the car.

"Good morning," Sam agreed, buckling his seat belt. Gabriel pecked him on the cheek.

"You excited for tonight?" Gabriel asked, reaching for Sam's hand. Sam complied, settling his hand into Gabriel's. "Your first real show."

"Very excited," Sam said. Gabe gave his hand a light squeeze. "Nervous. But excited. You?"

"I'm calm. I save my freak out for when the house opens. It takes about a half hour for it to turn into adrenaline. Then the overture begins, the curtain opens, and I'm ready to go. I've got performing down to a science," Gabe said proudly, taking his time getting to the school. It was only 5 minute down the road from Sam's neighborhood, but neither of them wanted to let go of the other's hand.

No one but musical kids would be there. They all arrived at the school at once on these days, when they were allowed to come in late. Everyone got there at 9:00am on the dot. They were a bit early and Gabriel was the only one who didn't have a spot in the theater lot, so they allowed themselves a few hurried kisses before gathering their things and heading for the school and going their separate ways.

 

 

The show was even more incredible than Sam could have ever imagined. Everyone was rushing around as usual, two hours before curtain. It was all the same, except this time they'd have an audience. It became real when the curtain was closed and Zach announced that the house was open, and Sam could hear the chatter of thousands of people coming in and taking their seats. He hadn't realized just how prestigious his theater program was until the directors told them that they were sold out.

Gabriel was an anxious mess. He had cut off the circulation in Sam's entire hand in the green room. He looked almost comical in all his T-Bird gear, makeup and all, biting his fingernails as he sat with Sam on the bench they used during We Go Together in the second act, waiting for the overture to start. Cas was out there, and hopefully Dean, too. Sam's nerves were on end, but it was excitement rather than fear. Gabriel kept twitching his leg, knocking it into Sam's by accident. They weren't totally exposed behind the bedroom flat, but it was dark enough that no one would notice. Sam took Gabriel's hands in both of his.

"You're gunna kill it," Sam promised.

"Did you eat the chicken sandwich I brought you?" Gabe asked, not looking at him.

Sam nodded. "I did. It was delicious."

Gabriel exhaled. "Good."

Sam wasn't sure if he should. He wasn't sure what would happen. But he did it anyway. He turned Gabriel's face toward him and kissed him. With the house open, and everyone crowding into their places, butterflies in their stomachs, hand in hand. Gabriel relaxed against him though, and excitement flared up in Sam. They were pushing the boundaries of their sneaking around, but Sam didn't care.

But once again, a lot of things happened all at once that Sam hadn't expected. The overture began, and it caught Sam so off guard, he bit down on Gabriel's lip by accident. Sam had forgotten how the set was normally stacked out of the way in the wings, and realized too late that the "Drive On In" sign should have been in front of them, not the bedroom flat. Because in the same instance, someone shoved the bedroom flat out of the way. And suddenly everyone was looking at them, the two of them kissing, holding hands, hiding behind a flat. Everyone was looking at them, and no one was prepared.  
If the wide-eyed silence hadn't been broken by the overture ending, and the curtain being opened, then Zach hissing "Jesus Christ, it's about goddamn time!" under his breath definitely did.


	13. Took You Long Enough

Dean had been fed up with his excursion with his dad before they were even half a mile down the road. It didn't matter what he thought, though. If he didn't stow his shit, he'd have an even bigger shitstorm coming for him. It wasn't the time.

Dean was flooring it. It was 5:45pm. The doors would open at the theater in 15 minutes. He had to be there at the latest by 6:30pm, and he and his dad were still at least an hour from the house. He was going a steady 80 miles per hour, however, so hopefully he'd make it in time.

It was rounding on 6:25pm when he dropped his dad at their house. He had to park the Impala on the other side of the school, then hoof it to the theater. He made it to his seat just as the house lights flickered, signaling that the show was about to start.

"Oh, thank god. Took you long enough," Cas breathed as Dean slid into the chair beside him. He kissed Dean's cheek, then pulled up short. Dean had a scrape on his cheek, or rather, a gash, which he had acquired while helping his dad. He'd forgotten about, until now. "What's that?" Cas asked, gingerly touching his cheek.

"It's nothing, Cas," Dean growled, shuffling uncomfortably in his seat. Cas was already worried enough about Dean going with his dad, mostly because Dean declined to elaborate about it. Dean didn't need to worry him any more than he already had.

"Dean-" Cas started to say, but the orchestra cut him off. The show was starting.

 

 

Sam felt as if he was suspended in honey. Or rather, as if he'd been drowned in honey. As if his head had been shoved under long enough for his insides to fill up with the heavy gold goo, long enough for him to slow to a harrowing stop. No one on stage right moved for a long time. They all held a collective breath. The first one to break eye contact was Gabriel, who, realizing his cue was about to happen, sprang to his feet and parted the crowd of onlookers. They all made a big show of smoothing their hair or clothing, trying to pretend like nothing had happened.

Sam didn't unclench his ass until Summer Lovin' was over. It was the most uncomfortable 3 minutes and 30 seconds of his life, reliving the incident again and again and again. The scene wouldn't end for at least two more songs, so he didn't need to be anywhere anytime soon. But he got up and worried himself anyway, checking the props and set pieces he was responsible for, charging glow tape that didn't need to be charged, and checking the set list enough times to make Zach threaten to "slap the hickies off his neck." Apparently Sam hadn't been hiding them as well as he thought he had. Oops.

He felt at least twenty pairs of eyes on his back at all times. On the bright side, he didn't have to hide his relationship from anyone in the theater anymore. The bad news: Cas would find out for sure. Which meant that Dean would find out. 

He didn't want to think about this anymore. Sam wanted nothing more than to turn into a shadow, to blend in with the black walls of the stage so well that he dissolved into it. It was such a tense moment, and it hadn't gotten a chance to dissipate. It was like one of the traditions they did called "Zoom," where everyone yells "zoom!" at each other (hence the name) around the circle however many times the directors say and then give this great big build-up breath at the end without any release. It was one of Sam's favorites, despite how uncomfortable he was at the end, keeping all that air in his lungs. That moment, everyone watching him kiss Gabe, was the build up. He just needed to let the air out of his lungs. He just needed a release.

 

 

Intermission lasted 15 minutes. If you're a musical kid, you know how long 15 minutes of musical time actually is. Hell, 8 seconds of musical time is long. The longest blackout the crew had to get the set in place was 6 seconds long, start to finish. Time was always of the essence in theater. 15 minutes felt more like 15 years to Sam.

The curtain closed right after We Go Together, so everyone was there when Gabriel decided to get it all out in the open. He marched right up to Sam, dragged him up on the second story of the enormous, stationary, main school/diner flat, despite Sam's reluctance, and kissed him in front of everyone. The house was still open so they weren't supposed to make any noise, but the congregation of cast and crew hastily snapplauded them. Gabriel bowed before his peers, and pulled Sam down to do the same. Sam turned redder than the paint job he gave the picnic tables.

"Took you long enough!" someone yelled from the shadows of stage left. And Sam blushed deeper.

 

 

"We're all going to the Hollywood Diner tonight," Gabriel said, playing with Sam's large hands in his lap. They were sitting on the floor, up against the sound box while everyone rushed around, preparing for the act 2. "I could drive you, if you want." Gabe was opening and closing Sam's long fingers, turning his hands over, running his fingers along the lines of Sam's palms, brushing against the sensitive skin between Sam's knuckles.

Sam nodded. "I'll have to ask my brother first," he said honestly.

Gabe nodded, kissing the back of Sam's hand. "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you earlier. I know you said you didn't want to make it public. I just... I know how fast stuff gets around a theater. And no one could really say anything until intermission anyway, so, I figured, if they want to talk about something, they might as well know what they're talking about." He squeezed Sam's hand. "I should have talked to you first."

Sam got the idea that this wasn't Gabriel's first theater scandal. He didn't want to explore the topic, not now. He had enough to think about. "It's alright," Sam said. "I understand. It's actually a bit of a relief."

Gabe sighed, dropping his shoulders. Sam didn't realize he had been squeezing his hand so hard until he let go of him. "Thank god. I was so worried you'd be mad."

"I could never be mad at you," Sam hummed, kissing Gabriel's cheek.

"Get your head out of Gabriel's mouth, Winchester," Zach barked from the stage doors, scaring both of them. "I need you to help me fix something."

Gabriel smiled and got to his feet. "See you later for that quick change."


	14. Part of That World

"I know you don't want me worrying about you," Cas said at intermission. "But it doesn't matter what you want. It doesn't matter what you do, Dean. I'll always be worried sick about you."

Dean winced, not meeting Castiel's gaze. "That's... endearing. I guess."

"Listen," Cas started, then paused. "Please look at me," he said shyly. Dean made a show of diverting his eyes towards Cas's. "Don't you understand, Dean? I love you, okay, and if you're going to-"

"Wait," Dean interrupted, holding up a hand. "You what?"

"I love you," Cas said simply. "And if you're going to keep secrets from me, you better have a good reason-"

"I love you, too."

"That's not a reason."

"Cas, I love you, too. Did you hear what I said. I love you, idiot. Can I kiss you now?" Dean didn't wait for an answer. He kissed Cas quickly and fiercely.

That took a bit of the heat out of Cas's fire. He was frazzled, by what he said and what Dean said. He scrambled to get back to his point. "Where were you?"

"With my dad."

"Doing what?"

"Helping him."

"That's so vague."

"Jesus Christ, Cas. Can you stop with the third degree," Dean hissed. "I get why you're upset. I'm sorry I went. I didn't want to. But I'm here now, safe and sound. No need to worry. Alright?"

Cas pressed his lips together. "Alright," he said after a while. The house lights flickered again.

 

 

They crushed it. They absolutely crushed it. Opening night was a huge success. They sold every ticket. The actors hit every note, and the crew hit every spike, just on time. Sam was on top of the world. And he didn't have to wait to kiss Gabriel either. The show ended and they all went whooping and hollering down the hall to meet their friends and family in the lobby. And as soon as Sam found Gabe, he kissed him.

They went their separate ways when they got to the mass of loved ones. But the whole way down the hall they held hands, yelling and cheering and skipping all the while. Sam never wanted to let go of him, but he wanted to see Dean and Cas too. So they broke apart.

Sam went straight for the rotunda, a large round bench in the middle of the theater lobby. He clamored up on top of it to see over the crowd. He spotted Dean and Cas coming out of the theater on stage right, arguing about something. "Dean!" he yelled, waving his arms. "Dean!"

Dean spotted him almost right away and cut through the crowd easily, Cas trailing behind him. Sam met them half way. Without even saying a word, he dove into Dean's arms.

Dean hugged him back, a bit surprised at first, but he complied easily. "I'm so glad you could make it," Sam said into Dean's shoulder. Sam was about his height now, maybe a little shorter. But neither of then were really done growing. And Sam was about to surpass his older brother anyway.

"I promised, remember?" Dean said, pulling away from him. "It was amazing, Sammy."

"Thanks," Sam said, bashfully. He almost felt like he didn't deserve the credit. Stage crew kids were always getting the short hand of the credit.

"You were great, Sam," Cas said, peeking out behind Dean. Sam hugged him briefly. "I loved your red picnic tables."

"Thanks, Cas," Sam said. Before he could say anything else, he heard someone calling his name through the crowd. He turned to see who it was, even though he knew for sure it was Gabriel.

Gabriel appeared at his elbow, looking at him expectantly. Sam suddenly remembered the Hollywood Diner. "Oh! Dean," Sam said, almost pleadingly, Gabriel tugging on his arm. "This is Gabriel. Gabriel, this is my brother Dean and his..." Sam didn't think he should go on.

"Yes, I know Castiel quite well, thank you, Sam," Gabriel said, reaching around him to shake Dean's hand. "Long time, no see, Cas," he winked. "Nice to meet you, Dean."

"Pleasure's all mine," Dean replied, a hint of surprise coloring his voice. 

Sam proceeded quickly. "Dean, can I go to the Hollywood Diner with everyone tonight? Gabriel offered to drive me."

Dean smirked, glancing smugly between Sam and Gabriel.

"I'll have your brother home by midnight, I promise," Gabriel joked, winking at Dean.

"Alright, Sammy, you can go, " Dean said after a while.

"Thank you so much, Dean!" Sam exclaimed. "I owe you," he called as Gabe pulled him into the crowd again.

Dean smiled. "How long do you think they've been dating?" he asked Cas, once they were gone.  
Cas returned the smile. "Not sure. But whatever they are, it's real."

Dean sighed and wrapped his arm around Castiel's waist, pulling him into his side. "Did you see the way they were looking at each other?"

"It was kinda hard to miss."

"And you didn't know about this until now?" Dean asked as they made their way through the crowd and to the doors.

Cas blanched. "Was I supposed to?"

Dean shrugged, their shoulders rubbing together. "Well you do go to school with both of them. And Gabriel is one of your best friends."

"I'm his friend, not his conjoined twin," Cas argued. "Hey! And Sam's your brother! Why didn't you know about it."

"I guess I just go lost in your blue eyes, angel," Dean hummed. They were outside now, standing pressed together under cool air and bright fluorescence.

"Shut up," Cas said, rolling his eyes and shoving Dean playfully. "So neither of us are babysitters. And neither of them are babies. You should trust Sam's judgement. Gabriel's a great guy."

"I never said I didn't and I never said he wasn't," Dean replied. "It's just... Sam's my little brother, ya know? There's so much he still doesn't know. I think he should hear it from me."

Cas rolled his eyes again. "He's in high school, Dean. I'll say it one more time: You should trust Sam's judgement. It's not like he's gunna sleep with Gabriel or anything. It's Sam's first boyfriend. He's responsible."

"Hey," Dean said defensively, stopping Cas in front of the Impala. "What's that supposed to mean? I slept with my first boyfriend and look at us."

"That's different," Cas interjected.

Dean ignored him. "Hell, we can't even keep our hands to ourselves, Cas. We were just at a school event and you had your hand so far up my thigh you could probably count my change-"

"I did not. Jesus Christ, Dean. We're still at a school event. You're shouting."

"I'm just sayin', get off your high horse. If anyone's guilty of excessive PDA, it's us. And I never said I didn't trust Sam. I just said I'm worried about him. Vague, simple. Don't read into it so much."

"I wasn't 'reading into it.' You were," Cas countered. "And it's not excessive."

"It is when someone gets a boner. Fuck, listen to us. You think we aren't worse than the heart-eyes we saw in there? We're literally fighting like an old married couple right now," Dean yelled.

Cas ignored him and climbed into the Impala. Dean followed suit. "You just won't admit when I'm right," Cas grumbled as Dean started towards his house.

"Cas, I gotta be honest. I forget what you were even right about. But I'm sure you were right, anyway," Dean admitted.

"Shut up, Dean."


	15. I Won't Tell If You Won't

Sam was sitting shotgun. Balthazar had called it, but it was Gabriel's car they had invaded, and he overuled it. Sam was sitting shotgun in Gabe's tiny little 5-seat Kia, with Balthazar, a boy named Sammandriel, a girl named Lilith who was in Sam's English class, and Ruby stuffed in the back 3 seats.  
"Hey, Gabriel, why don't you just let Sam sit in your lap and we won't be so cramped back here," Lilith yelled. Everyone laughed. Sam turned red. Gabe turned up the music.

The Hollywood Diner was about 20 minutes from the theater, and the entire cast and crew were the only ones on the road. It was nearly 11:00pm. Ruby had called ahead, informing the night shift of the unsuspecting diner that 60 loud, hungry musical kids would be at their doorstep in a half hour. They formed a line down the road of about 10 full cars, racing each other. 

Sam had never been so excited. He was in Gabriel's car, rushing down the highway, on his way to have a midnight snack with his musical family. They were all sweating and screaming, still reeling from the adrenaline rush of performing, the cool night air wafting in the open windows, tearing through their hair. It smelled so distinctly of Gabriel in the car; like cinnamon and costumes and heat. 

When they got there, Sam waited for more jokes. He had expected the obvious one to happen eventually; how could any of them pass up the opportunity to hit them with the "Too bad, Eugene!" joke? But once again, Sam was welcome wherever Gabriel was welcome. And Gabriel was the leader of his own kingdom.

Sam and Gabriel quickly became the link between worlds. Sam sat next to his stage crew, Gabriel next to his cast, but they both sat so close in the booth that it didn't matter, Sam's arm around Gabe's waist, Gabe's hand on Sam't thigh under the table. Everyone was congratulating them, since they didn't get a chance during the show. They shared stories of what people did during the show, back stage, or on stage. There was always something unique about each show; you never knew what would happen in live theater. Tonight's most popular incident was Sam and Gabriel of course.

"I totally knew it," Ruby bragged, as if she was special for it.

"Are you kidding?" Balthazar practically yelled. "We all knew it!"

"Oh, really?" Ruby challenged.

"If you were there when Gabriel told me he had a quick change, how could you not know? I've never seen someone so forceful about a freaking quick change in my entire life," Zach said.

Gabriel kept rolling his eyes. Sam's cheeks blushed a deeper shade of red every time someone new talked about their not-so-secret love affair.

Some people got burgers. Mostly, every few people just shared an order of fries. Sam and Gabe shared a chocolate shake. They had argued about the flavor, and Sam lost, of course. Mostly because Gabriel was paying for it. Sam gave him the puppy dog eyes and everything, but Gabe seemed unphased.

It was the best night of Sam's life. They got back to the school at the ungodly hour of 1:00am. Dean wouldn't be happy when Sam got home, but Sam didn't care. Gabriel held Sam's hand for the entire ride back to the school, and when Balthazar, Sammandriel, Ruby and Lilith filed out of the car, and it was just the two of them, Gabe put his hand on Sam's knee. It was the smallest of gestures, but it made a world of a difference to Sam.

But reality came crashing in as they turned into Sam's neighborhood. Gabriel took his hand off of Sam's thigh. But Sam didn't want it to end. He wasn't ready to go back to reality yet. He wasn't ready to get out of the warm car and into the frigid March night.

Sam told Gabriel to flick off his lights, and to drop him a block from his house. Gabriel complied without questions. Sam kissed him goodbye, but didn't let go of him. He went to kiss him again, but Gabriel stopped him. "You're late," he said quietly, pointing to the clock on the car radio, blinking 1:05am.

"Yeah, so what?" Sam said, shrugging. "I'm already late. What's another 10 minutes?"

Gabriel smiled. He turned the car off and they spent those 10 minutes the same way they'd have spent them in the costume room.

 

Dean was angry when Sam snuck in, but he didn't make a scene. Sam slipped into their shared bedroom, Dean confronted him about his lateness, Sam pointed out that Gabriel had made the promise about having him home before midnight, not Sam. Dean rolled his eyes and dropped the subject.

Sam was glad that Dean hadn't turned on the light when he came in. He wasn't sure if the damage of those last 10 minutes with Gabriel would be noticeable, but he was glad he didn't have to chance it.  
They talked briefly. Sam needed to be in school by 9am again tomorrow to do it all over again. But they had barely seen each other all day. They were used to chatting until one of them fell asleep.

"How was your day?" Sam asked, when Dean had been quiet for a while. "Did that thing with Dad go well?"

"Not really," Dean admitted. "I mean, it was fine. It went well enough for Dad to realize that he needs a lot more experience at his right than I have to offer. But Cas wasn't happy about it. Mostly because I didn't tell him much about it."

"You guys are dating, aren't you, Dean?" It wasn't an accusation. It was confirmation. Sam knew they were dating. It was obvious. He'd just never heard Dean say it out loud. And Sam thought it was a little unhealthy to hide something like that, especially from his brother, who he tells almost everything.  
Dean was quiet for a long time. Sam started to worry that he may have fallen asleep. "Yeah. Yeah, Sammy. We're dating."

Sam was quiet for a bit too. "I won't tell," Sam said sheepishly. He felt like a child again, promising things that were already unspoken.

"I know you won't, Sammy."

Sam hesitated. He was going to say it. It didn't matter. He'd find out anyway. If not from Cas, then from someone else. Sam thought of what Gabriel said earlier.

I just figured, if they wanted something to talk about, they might as well know what they're talking about.

"Dean," Sam started.

"Yeah, Sammy?"

"Gabriel is... my boyfriend."

Dean paused again. "I know."

"I just- Wait, you know?"

"Sam if you thought you weren't being obvious about it... Man, we gotta talk more."

"Alright, you don't know the first thing about hiding your "secret" relationships, Dean. Maybe I did learn it from you."

Dean sighed. "Well, wearing your heart on your sleeve isn't a bad thing, Sam. You just have to be careful around certain people. And if you can't be careful around strangers, good luck when it gets serious."

Sam didn't reply. He had said what he wanted to say.

Dean went on, though. "I'm proud of you, though. Gabriel. A senior. Nice job, Sammy. Now that you picked up from me."

Sam rolled his eyes. "To be fair, he came on to me."

"Well no one needs to know that."

"Good night, Dean."

"Sam?" Dean asked.

"Yeah?"

Dean cleared his throat. "I won't tell."

"I know you won't, Dean."


	16. Never Too Late

Everyone seemed to be noticing Sam in the hallway. He had to endure Kevin making sex jokes at his expense when he walked in hand and hand with Gabriel in the morning, but that was survivable. The news had spread even faster in the whole school than in the theater and Sam and Gabe were all anyone was talking about. Sam was used to people looking at him because he was tall. He wasn't used to... whatever this was. People were looking at him and recognizing him as someone other than just "the tall kid."

Sam thought this might be what being a celebrity would be like. People he didn't even know said hi to him, and used his name, no less. Everyone whispered to each other when they thought he wasn't looking or listening. Sam was too observant to be under that kind of scrutiny. He liked that people were gushing about his relationship - it gave him this weird sense of self actualization, almost validating his relationship with Gabriel, which was silly, but he couldn't help but feel extremely out of his league with Gabe, especially now that it was public. But anything further than fluff was foreign to him. He wasn't used to being the center of attention. It made him feel like they knew more about his relationship than he did, which wasn't true, he hoped.

Sam couldn't help wondering what exactly everyone was saying about him and Gabriel. He knew that he didn't really want to know (he'd regret it as soon as he asked) but he was curious. He wanted to know what people thought of it - probably because of the validation and self actualization thing - and he wanted to know how much of it was rumors and how much, if any, was true. 

All Sam knew was what he and Gabriel had told people together. He didn't want to believe that Gabriel would give any more details than what they had to the cast and crew the night before, but the way he threw caution to the wind, and the way he was talking at the show last night worried Sam. He didn't know how much of his relationship he wanted to share, especially since he would be sharing it with the whole school, whether he liked it or not.

 

 

Dean needed to get out of the house. He felt like a caged animal, stuck within the creaking walls and whining floorboards. By the time 3 o'clock rolled around, he was itching to be with Cas. When Sam and Cas climbed into the car, Dean couldn't keep his hands off Cas. It didn't matter, Sam didn't care. Dean didn't think he could wait until Sunday to be with him again. And he would be alone in the house again tonight...

No. It was too risky. He shouldn't bring Cas back to his house again. No one would likely be home until 1 in the morning again; Sam had asked ahead of time if Gabriel could drive him to AppleBees, the Friday night post-show destination. Dean gave him some money, so he could pay this time, and extended his curfew to 1am. Sam promised him change, and a favor in return.

Dean shouldn't. They could just go to K Mart like usual. Or to Cas's house. His parents both worked strange hours, and Cas was almost always home alone at night. Dean had only been there once, but surely it was better than this. Surely anything was better than letting Cas get attached to this place, to associate it with Dean. Dean wasn't sure if he wanted to associate it with Cas either. He was beginning to think it was too late.

But later that night, while Sam was off performing again, Dean and Cas were on Dean's bed, orbiting around each other, kissing and biting and breathing. Dean's subconscious hated himself for it, but the rest of him was trying so hard not to, it was almost annoying. He wanted to be uncomfortable there with Cas. He wanted to be mad at himself for bringing Cas here again, for letting too much happen in this place. 

Dean felt just like the house when they had finished, empty but lived in. It was unsettling. But Cas seemed very at home in Dean's arms. Dean was so cold he had goosebumps, but Cas's skin was so warm against Dean's that it seemed impossible. Dean felt so dissociated, like he was a ghost trying to exist as a human, and failing miserably. He didn't tell Cas; he didn't want to stop doing this. Even if it did make him feel all chewed up and spit out afterwards. 

After a while, Cas fell asleep, and Dean stayed up, counting his heartbeats. He watched Cas's chest rise and fall in the dim light. It took all Dean had not to fall asleep. He was so aware of what time it was, it felt like a million years before the clock hit midnight.

"I don't have to go," Castiel said as Dean dressed himself again. "I can stay a bit longer."  
"I'm fine, Cas," Dean insisted.

Cas frowned. "You don't sound fine."

"Well, I am."

"Well... well I'm not ready to leave you," Cas said stubbornly.

Dean sighed. "What does that mean?"

"Sam won't be home until one, right?" Cas asked. Dean nodded. "So I'll leave at 12:30."

"Cas-"

"Come on, Dean." Cas got to his feet. "I thought we couldn't keep our hands off each other," Cas hummed, stepping into Dean's personal space.

Dean grimaced. "We shouldn't be here-"

"You invited me, Dean. We're fine. We've been here twice now and nothing but good has come out of it."

"I just..." Dean started, rubbing his neck. "I don't know what it is. Just... being here with you just makes me feel so... I don't know what word I'm looking for."

Cas kissed the corner of Dean's mouth lightly. "What?" he whispered.

Dissociated. Dean didn't want to say it. He didn't know what he wanted. Well, that wasn't entirely true. He knew he wanted to keep having sex with Cas. And if doing it in this house was what it took, well, then he didn't want to rule it out right away. But it did make him feel wrong. He didn't know how to explain it so he just said:

"Dirty."

Cas chuckled, and Dean could feel his vocal cords vibrate against his chest. "Then maybe we should take a shower."

 

 

Cas got in his car, his hair dripping wet, at about 1:05am. Sam got home at 1:10am, same as the night before. They never crossed paths.


	17. Raw Skin

There were only three shows left and Sam was beginning to feel his time with Gabriel growing thinner. He wondered what would happen after Take Down Day on Sunday. After they tore apart all the sets, replaced every costume to it's rightful spot in the costume room, and made it look as if they hadn't spent three months of their lives working harder than they've ever worked before. What would happen to Sam and Gabriel? Would they find a way to go on? Continue sneaking around until they were caught or Gabriel left for college? Or would Sam be forgotten? Sam didn't want to think about what musical would be like without Gabriel next year. Impossible, Sam thought. It would be impossible.

But it was still only Friday. They had three whole shows left, and whatever came after that. Sam wish he wouldn't worry so much. But he wanted to hold onto Gabriel as long as possible. And he wasn't the only one worrying.

Gabriel was a new kind of nervous tonight. He kept running up to Sam and kissing him before Sam could even realized what had happened. A few times Gabriel ran full speed at him and lept into his arms. Sam thought it was an endearing nervous tick, but everyone else thought he was being obnoxious, making a show of his new boyfriend. Sam didn't like to think Gabriel would do that. It was just nerves. Yesterday he was quiet and anxious. Today he was bouncy and excited. Both were completely normal responses to something as stressful as playing the lead role in front of thousands of your friends and family.

And Sam was getting more affection from Gabriel than usual, so he wasn't about to complain. He loved when Gabriel was gentle and fluffy with him. Moods like this were rare, and Sam made a note to value it. He loved when Gabriel made over him. Gabriel was all hands, tugging at Sam's arms, hugging and squishing and cuddling him until he couldn't take it anymore. Sam sat himself down defiantly, and Gabriel climbed into his lap like a child and bit at his nails. Sam rubbed his back when he thought no one was looking.

They sat there watching everyone hustle and get their shit together. Sam picked at a salad that Gabriel made for him. Gabriel kept picking the cranberries out with his hands - upon receiving the salad, Sam told him he didn't like cranberries. Sam didn't like hands in his food even more than he didn't like cranberries, but he didn't say anything. He knew it would go in one ear and out the other anyway. He didn't want to frazzle Gabriel even more.

There wasn't much for the two of them to do before the show today. Just sit around and worry, and double check everything, then check it all again. Friday night shows were always the most popular. They had a track record of selling out Friday shows before Friday even came around. This year kept that record going. 

Sam didn't have anyone specific in the audience tonight. All of his friends were performing with him. But Gabriel's parents would be out there. Sam thought that must be why he was reacting this way. He wanted to do good for his family, and that translated to nervous excitement.

Gabriel had been right, though, about all the nerves becoming adrenaline as soon as the curtains opened. Sam had never seen him so confident in each line he spoke. Every step he took had a purpose. They were all having a great show. 

 

 

Sam met Gabe in the costume room during the sleepover scene. They had a good three songs to kill before either of them had to be anywhere. And Gabriel didn't waste any time getting to it. He was less affectionate now, more needy. He wouldn't kiss Sam for longer than a standard blackout and he kept diverting his kisses to Sam's neck and jaw line.

He was so... intense. Sam felt like maybe he wanted to slow down a little, to drag out each kiss rather than blow pass them. But he didn't know how to do it himself, and he wasn't sure he could stop Gabriel even if he did. Every now and then Sam felt a small nip at his skin, but it was never hard enough to develop into any kind of bruise. He didn't mind Gabriel's affection, no matter how it came. He just wished Gabriel wouldn't let his nerves translate so easily. He wished he could calm Gabriel down. But he only seemed to excite the senior even more.

And when Sam thought Gabriel was all hands before the show started, he wasn't prepared for this. Gabriel was running his hands all over Sam, over his chest, through his hair, across his muscular back, even under the hem of his shirt a few times. Sam wasn't ready for so much touching but he loved it. He felt so much more aware of Gabriel. 

Before when they'd just kiss, he'd just focus on where his lips were. It was easy to keep track of. But now he was aware of every place Gabriel touched him, and he became painfully aware of the exact spot on Gabe's hips that he always found himself settling his hands onto.

It was almost painful when they had to break apart again, once Sandra Dee began. Sam returned to right wing feeling as if he'd gotten sunburn on every spot Gabriel had been touching him. He felt raw and ginger, like if someone else were to touch him, even brush up against him, it would sting and burn. Gabriel was the sun, and Sam's skin was so pale that he had to use sunblock whenever he was around the guy. But he forgot to reapply today, and he felt Gabriel's warm hands running rapid and needy all over him. It burned like hell, but he didn't care. It was so nice to feel Gabriel touch him. So nice to see the sun after three months of wintry darkness.

Gabriel was the sun. But Sam didn't mind the UV rays. He was only ever happy in the sunlight.


	18. Sloppy Second Act

Sam and Dean had been the children that somehow always managed to make a horrendous mess of themselves, but they always had a ball doing it. They didn't mind being dirty. They used to make mud pies and have mud fights. In the fall, right after it would rain, there was this spot in the backyard of their old house that always filled up with leaves and mud that was perfect for mud sliding. They scraped themselves on hidden sticks or rocks and come in muddy and chilled to the bone. But they were entertained for hours.

Dean had said something to Sam about his relationship with Cas, something about him letting his guard down, getting sloppy. Sam wasn't so sure Dean was to blame anymore. He came to realize that no matter how hard you tried, if you were in a relationship, you were bound to make a mess. Relationships were sloppy, not people. Sam knew how Dean felt now. He certainly had his hands full with Gabriel. And metaphorically, if we're sticking with the mud analogy, Sam had dirt smeared all over his face. Gabriel was so popular, and had a big, unknown reputation, which, inevitably, Sam was beginning to become a part of. Sam was up to his waist in mud. And he loved every second of it.

 

 

Sam had deja vu. They were all trailing down the highway at 11:00pm, racing each other to Applebees after another great show. Sam felt even better than last night. He rode shotgun with Gabriel again, yelling along to the radio with everyone else.

Sam had done his best to avoid hearing about Gabriel's affairs before they had met. He didn't want to be jealous for no reason. But he had almost no choice tonight.

Applebees was different than The Hollywood Diner. They couldn't push tables together, and everyone arrived a bit more staggered than before. Everyone paired up with their 5 favorite people and squished into a booth. Sam was with Gabriel, of course, who had pulled him into a booth with Balthazar, Ruby, a boy named Michael, and a girl named Abbadon whose hair was redder than Anna's, if it were at all possible.

Gabriel and Balthazar split a 2 for 20. Gabriel got chicken penne, and insisted that Sam have some. Whenever Gabriel started talking, Sam would gently take the fork from him and snag a few bites of pasta.

Sam learned more than he wanted to. He wished he'd made Gabriel sit with Anna and Kevin and Zach on the other side of the restaurant. He tried not to let their stories get to him.

"Sam, did you know that your beautiful boy toy has a type?" Ruby asked, twirling a strand of dark hair between her fingers.

Sam felt Gabriel tense beside him. Sam didn't say anything. She went on.

"Tall and adorable," she said, and everyone but Gabriel and Sam laughed. 

Gabriel sighed. "Can we not, guys?"

"Come on, Gabriel-"

"Just stop, okay? I don't wanna relive this."

Sam didn't want to remember the specifics. So far he had managed to successfully avoid jealousy, and he wanted to keep it that way. They didn't tell him much anyway. Just that way back when Gabriel was a sophomore, he fell for a senior, just like Sam, who Gabriel did not let them name. And that he had taught Gabriel everything he know, apparently. Sam didn't want to know what that meant. Sam was Gabriel's second act, essentially. It was a tense meal, that was for sure. They tried to make him jealous, and tried to make Gabriel angry. Sam knew they had succeeded in making Gabe mad. But he refused to be jealous. 

He knew it was stupid, but he wasn't irreplaceable enough to Gabriel to throw a fit. If Gabriel had a type, a type that fit perfectly and exactly into Sam's own personal ambiance, he couldn't afford to give Gabe a reason to move on. He liked the guy too much.

It was a long drive home at 12:30am.

 

 

"I'm sorry about them," Gabriel said quietly, as he drove away from the school. The radio clock was blinking 12:50am. "They were just trying to get to us. You shouldn't listen to them-"

"Gabriel," Sam said. "I don't care about what they said."

"You don't?"

Sam shook his head. "Nope. We wouldn't be together if you didn't like me. And I'm not jealous, because I trust you. It would be stupid of me to get mad at you for how you used to be."

Gabriel pulled into Sam's neighborhood and turned his lights off. He pulled over a block away from Sam's house.

Tonight was like last night, but not the same. There was a distance between them. It wasn't like they didn't want to talk to each other, but more like neither of them wanted to talk to anyone. Sam felt dissociated, and Gabriel was too distracted to know the difference.

Sam kissed him goodnight and made him promise to spend all day with him tomorrow. They had a matinee the next day, and a night show; they'd have to spend all day together anyway. But Sam wanted to be with only Gabriel.

Sam fell asleep trying not to get his hopes up too high about tomorrow. It didn't work.


	19. The Matinee

"Can I go to Gabriel's tonight?" Sam asked as Dean scrambled an egg for him. "He's having a cast party tonight after the show."

Dean raised an eyebrow and wiped his hands on the apron tied around his waist. Sam had already showered and dressed in his run crew black. Dean was still in his pajamas, flannel pants and a black t-shirt, his bare feet cold on the kitchen tile. It was a chilly morning. "A cast party, huh?" Dean sounded skeptical.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Dean, seriously? It's a cast party. There will be 60 kids and all 5 directors there. Not to mention Gabriel's parents, and probably other parents..."

Dean shrugged. "You don't have to keep lying, Sammy. I'm not saying no."

Sam scoffed. "Okay, first of all, I'm not lying. Second of all, since you're being cool about this, can I sleep over? Gabriel said he'd drive me to the theater in the morning."

"Wow, Sam-"

"Dean."

"Big step-"

"Dean, please-"

"I don't know. Are you sure my little baby brother is ready for this?"

"Dean, stop."

"Alright, alright. I'm sorry. You can go," Dean said, laughing to himself, scooping the eggs onto a plate for Sam. "I'm proud of you, Sammy."

"Why?" Sam asked.

"You're being really mature about this."

"I am?"

"Yeah. I wouldn't have asked. I would have just not come home."

"Easier said than done," Sam muttered, sipping his orange juice.

Dean passed Sam a plate and sat down across from him. "What do you mean?"

Sam shrugged. "Just... your seniority is a bit annoying. Dad doesn't care what you do. But I have all this red tape to go through before I even get out of bed in the morning."

"Are you saying you don't want me watching out for you?"

"I'm saying that sometimes you baby me."

"I do not."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Whatever. It doesn't really matter. I'm gunna be late to the theater. Let's go."

 

 

Gabriel was waiting for him when he walked in two minutes late. "Normally you're early," Gabriel said, following Sam into the set room. Sam dumped all of his belongings onto the counter next to everyone else's.

Sam laughed. "Good morning to you, too."

"I'm sorry," Gabriel sighed, stepping into Sam and craning on his tippy toes to kiss him. "Good morning," he hummed.

Sam turned and set about sorting his stuff, what he needed while he was here and what he wouldn't need until that night. It was always so touch and go with musical, so if he thought there was a slim chance he could use something, he packed it. And if not, he packed it anyway.

Gabriel's arms appeared around his middle. "Did you ask about tonight?" he asked, vocal cords vibrating against Sam's spine.

Sam sighed. "Yep. We're good to go. Now lay off, would ya? I need to go find Zach."

"Find me for what?" Zach asked, coming into the set room only half paying attention.

Gabriel stepped away from Sam. "Just to let you know I'm here. And to ask if there's anything you need me to do."

"As of right now? No. Carry on making out with your boyfriend. I'll send someone after you if that changes," he said, stumbling out of the room even more distractedly than usual.

"Well, you heard the man," Gabriel smirked, grabbing Sam's wrist and leading him out of the set room. "They'll know where to find us."

 

 

They had to break away in a half hour so that Gabriel could put on his makeup and make sure his costumes were in order. After that, Sam walked with him to his mic check and they sat and watched everyone else yell their lines through the theater until Kevin came and collected Sam.

"So how are things going?" Kevin asked as they made their way through the seats.

"Fine. How about you?" Sam returned, mostly just being polite.

"Oh, I meant how are things with you and Gabriel," Kevin corrected.

Sam frowned. Normally, Kevin wasn't one to pry. "Fine," Sam said, his eyebrows pulling together. "But you didn't answer my question."

"Oh," Kevin shrugged as they climbed onto the stage. "I just thought you'd wanna talk about Gabriel since all you do is hang out with him."

Zach emerged from his stage manager perch then and Kevin went off to left wing, leaving Sam feeling like a complete ass. Kevin was right; Gabriel was the only person to receive Sam's attention anymore. He made a note to talk to Kevin later, and to talk to Anna, though he didn't think she would be so angry. They were on the same side, after all.

 

The rest of the pre-show preparation was agonizing. Sam was distracted, even more distracted he'd been around Gabriel when he'd first arrived. He wasn't sure if he could make it the whole day, all the way through to the cast party, and, more importantly, what could happen afterwards. He didn't want to think about that yet. He didn't want to think about what would happen. Would everyone know? Of course they would. And if they didn't figure it out after Sam refused their offers for rides home, or the fact that Sam had stuffed his backpack full of overnight things, they'd figured it out when he came in the next day with Gabriel. And what did Gabriel expect to happen? Hell, what did he expect to happen? Sam didn't know. 

But all he could think about was lying in bed with Gabriel in a quiet darkness that distinctly was not the theater. All he could think about was what Gabriel's bedroom might look like, or if he'd even have the opportunity to look around, or if Gabe's parents would make him sleep on the couch or something. Surely Gabe's parents knew they were dating; Gabriel's friends weren't exactly quiet about that sort of thing.

Sam's head was spinning, but the only solid thought he could hold onto was bed. He had actually had a fair amount of sleep, and a decent breakfast, but once again, all the work he'd done had caught up with him. And he found himself curling up on top of one of the red picnic tables.

And before he'd even realized what had happened, Gabriel was shaking him awake and the house lights were flickering behind the curtains.


	20. In Between

They'd just finished their matinee. They wouldn't have to start prep for the show later that night until 6 o'clock, as they had already done mic checks and there was no point in taking off all their makeup just to put it back on again. So that left them a good two hours to have some lunch. The directors treated everyone to pizza and soda. 

And the sun had come out for the first time since October. It was the first warm day of the year, a nice, crisp, 65 degrees. And everyone took advantage of it. If you drove past the theater in between shows today, it was likely you'd see every member of the cast and crew lounging on the dead grass, a fair amount of them having stripped down to shorts and maybe a t-shirt. Another thing about theater kids is even if they aren't preforming, they still tend to put on a show, even if they don't realize it.

Sam had flopped down on the grass with his crew to eat pizza with them. He wanted to be with Gabriel, but he was distancing himself from all those friends he'd made, and he didn't want to be that person. Sam was pretty sure Gabriel felt the same way, as he only waved at Sam when he emerged from the theater shirtless - surprise, surprise - and joined his friends in the bed of Michael's truck. Sam was the happiest he'd been apart from Gabriel in a long time. Normally, all of that empty time was spent daydreaming and worrying. But now it was filled with inside jokes and stories and pizza filled silence.

About an hour in, about half of the cast and crew retired to the much warmer heated theater. Sam decided to take a nap in the sun, take advantage of the fresh air and the sun while he could. Kevin and Anna and a few other crew members lingered around his feet, chatting and doing homework. Sam had just started falling into his cat nap when he felt weight on his stomach. He peeked an eye open to see shirtless Gabriel resting his head on Sam's abdomen, twirling dead blades of grass between his fingers.

Gabriel looked up when he felt Sam move. "I'm sorry," Gabe hissed. "Go back to sleep."

Sam didn't have to be told twice. He fell into a light cat nap and listened to everyone chatting. His favorite conversations were the ones Gabriel chimed into.

 

 

Dean had fallen back asleep after dropping Sam off at the theater. Saturdays were normally his day to sleep in, until recently, when musical had really picked up, and Sam had to be in the theater by 9am at the latest. This Saturday and last, Dean had drove Sam in, then went right back up to bed. He let himself sleep until noon today. He was almost late to breakfast with Cas.

"How are you feeling today?" Cas asked him, after they'd received their coffee and sat down together on their favored love seat. The coffee house was normally busy on Saturday mornings; there were always tons of college kids from the local county college there. But today it was quiet. Dean hoped that meant everyone was off seeing Grease.

Dean sipped his cappuccino and shrugged. "Fine. And you?"

Castiel smiled shyly, not looking at Dean. He was more focused on spreading butter on his bagel. "I'm... I'm lovely," Cas said. "I'm great."

He was acting strange. Dean was distracted too, though, so he didn't notice much. Dean felt off today. It was weird getting up then going back to sleep for a few hours only to get back up again. It didn't feel like Saturday; it didn't feel like anything.

"That's good," Dean mumbled, playing with the zipper of his jacket.

Cas sighed dramatically and threw his plastic knife on the table. "Are you kidding, Dean?"

Dean shook himself and focused on Castiel. He looked serious. Dean raised an eyebrow. "What? What did I do?"

"I'm so clearly not great right now. And you don't even seem to care!"

Dean put a hand on his shoulder. "Deep breaths, Cas. Just say what you mean, alright? No confusion, no anger. What's wrong?"

Cas bit his lip. "It's not really a problem exactly... Well, it is a little sad. I'm upset about it. But it's not a problem-"

"Today, Cas."

Breathing slowly, Cas closed his eyes. He was quiet for a long time before looking back up into Dean's green eyes. It was harder to look right at him like this, but he had to. Cas stole one last breath and spoke. "I got into Princeton, Dean."

It took a second for Dean to process what he had said. "You- you got in... That's awesome, Cas!" he exclaimed, pulling Cas into a hug. Castiel hugged him back, wrapping his arms hesitantly around Dean's middle. "I told you you would! I told you! You kept saying it was a stretch but I knew they'd love you, Cas! I knew it!" Dean's smile wavered. "Hey, why don't you look happy about this?"

Cas looked like a hurt puppy. "It's 20 hours and 53 minutes away from you," he said quietly. His voice broke.

"Hey," Dean hummed, caressing Cas's cheek. Cas leaned into him. Dean touched his forehead to Cas's, and leaned forward, kissing him lightly. Their eyelashes brushed before Dean pulled away, just an inch, so they could still feel the heat of each other. "Your education is 100% more important that me. I want you to have everything you could ever want, Cas. And if you want Princeton, and me, then... then I'll just have to come with you."

"What?" Cas exclaimed, pulling away from Dean. "Dean, I can't ask you to do that."

"I don't want you to go either, Cas. So if we both want each other, and you want to move 20 hours and 53 minutes away, then what's stopping me from coming with you? We're both adults, Cas."

"Dean-"

"Seriously," Dean whispered, taking Cas's hands in both of his, rubbing circles over his knuckles. "I will follow you to the ends of the Earth if I have to, angel. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Cas nodded, watching Dean play with his fingers. "I can't ask you to leave Sam."

"You're not asking me to do anything. I'm acting completely on my own free will. And besides, Sam's got Gabriel now. You said Gabreil's going to the community college, didn't you?" Dean said.

"Yeah, but-"

"He'll be fine. He's a tough kid. I think I need you a lot more than Sam needs me," Dean asserted.

Cas let out a big pent up breath. He felt himself deflating with it. "I love you," he managed.

Dean smiled and kissed his cheek. "I love you, too, angel."


	21. The Cast Party

It's strange the way being in something so big and connected makes you notice things. You meet people you didn't even know existed. You notice the exact shade of hazel of someone's eyes, or the way their dirty blonde hair falls. You pick up their mannerisms, the little things they do that you find endearing, without even realizing it. And quietly, and so, so slowly, you begin to associate yourself with them. Strangers become acquaintances. Acquaintances become friends. And maybe more.

And maybe more...

Sam felt empty. It was all over. Three months of blood, sweat, and tears. Three months of no sleep and mediocre grades. It was just like "Zoom." Three months of build up and only three days of release. All four shows had come and gone. The last one had ended only minutes ago, but as Sam was kissing Gabriel, and running with his friends towards the theater lobby, he was very conscious of the fact that it would be the last time he would do so with the same people. There would be an all new set of kids here next year. Of course, three fourths would be the same people. But not really the same. No one would ever be the same every again.

"Everyone knows where they're going right?" Gabriel yelled down the hall as everyone put their costumes away and began gathering their things. "If you don't know where you're going, follow the beat to hell Kia! It's party time, bitches!"

There was a resounding "Whooo!"that echoed down the hall in response.

"You're riding with me, Sammy boy," Gabriel hummed, grabbing Sam's wrist.

Sam smiled. "Just need to grab my stuff."

"Of course," Gabe smiled back, leading the way to the set room.

Everyone had felt so distant to Sam this morning. But everything was okay now. The tension of ApplBees had dissipated, and everything was all good again. He'd gotten his priorities in order. Not to mention, he got to spend all night with Gabriel. He was pretty sure he wouldn't be sleeping at all tonight, but then again, he had no idea what to expect from Gabriel.

Just in case, Sam prepared for everything.

 

 

Gabriel's house was huge. Sam was sure he'd be sleeping in a guest bedroom. Nevertheless, the party extended to every part of the house, though mainly in the basement. Gabriel had gotten to choose his bedroom when they'd moved in, out of the six in the house, excluding the master. He'd chosen the basement. Sam understood why as soon as he got down there. It was huge, and cozy. The only drawback was the slight draft because there were big, double doors that opened up to their backyard. But other than that, it was awesome.

As everyone was arriving, Gabriel entertained the growing crowd by playing DDR by himself. Balthazar joined him after a while. There was no alcohol, just a lot of sugar, the main attraction being the gigantic cake that Gabriel's parents got that read "CONGRATS CAST OF GREASE" in red and white frosting. Gabriel had scribbled "and crew" next to the fancy lettering in runny black icing. "It was the best I could do," he shrugged when Sam asked about it.

Sam had waited until Gabe's parents left the room to kiss him and say, "It's perfect."

Sam had never been drunk, but this was the closest he had ever been to it without actually drinking anything. He felt warm, just a different sort of warm. When they describe the warmth of being drunk on TV and in books, they make it seem so sweet and cushy, like you're blushing. It isn't like that at all, or at least, that's not how Sam felt in his totally not-actually-drunk state of drunk. He felt hot. Like he was running a fever. It could have been the lethal amount of sugar racing through his bloodstream, or it could have been the fact that Gabriel was rubbing circles on the small of his back, even brushing up under his shirt a few times, in broad daylight, in front of everyone.

By midnight, quite a few people had left. The directors had filed out, most of the crew had left, and Gabriel's parents had retired to their room, leaving Gabriel the soul host, which he had no problem handling.

Everyone was talking to the two of them like they were such a couple, which they were. Sam just wasn't used to it. People kept talking to Gabriel about college, and asking whether the two of them would try to stay together, which Sam zoned out on for the most part. He didn't want to think about a life after tomorrow. Musical was the best thing in his life, besides Gabriel. He didn't want it to end.

Sam was actually, properly, genuinely having a lot of fun. He felt so at home at Gabriel's house, safe and warm and home. Gabriel hadn't let go of him since he stopped playing DDR. And everyone was so nice and friendly. Sam had gotten to know quite a few cast members he hadn't said two words to before this, except to yell at them for Zach. Most of those who had stayed were Gabriel's close friends, who were also very close with Castiel. That being said, Sam heard a few things about his brother's relationship he was pretty sure he didn't need or want to know. It's not like he didn't know about any of it; there are certain private things that go on when you're with someone that everyone assumes, but never talks about. At least, not when you're in the room. Sam knew that Dean and Cas were probably doing all of these things, he just didn't need to think about it.

Sam scolded himself for being embarrassed to hear about his brother's whereabouts. He was doing just the same. Maybe not quite as intensely; Dean was a very intense, passionate person. But he wasn't so innocent either.

 

"Dean, it's midnight. I should leave."

"No."

"I have a curfew-"

"Your parents aren't even home, Cas. They won't know. Please stay. Please."

"Dean, I shouldn't."

"Please."

"Dean-"

"Don't leave me, Cas."

"But Sam will be home soon-"

"Sam isn't coming home tonight. Just you and me. Here. Alone. Please, Cas."

"But-"

"Don't leave. Please. Stay with me. Stay with me..."


	22. Too Good For Me

Sam was so tired, but he felt so alive.He knew if he had been in his own home he'd be dead asleep by now. But Gabriel was straddling him, the two of them rolling around in the sheets of Gabriel's bed, all tousled hair and tangled limbs, lazily kissing and touching.

Sam was so acutely aware of everything. Every inch of skin they had in common, their bare rib cages pressed against one another. Every article of clothing, Sam's run crew black, Gabe's sweatshirt and jeans, discarded on the floor. That his hands were instinctively wandering to Gabriel's familiar hips, and even venturing beneath his boxers, almost subconsciously. That Gabriel had one hand cupping the back of Sam's head, and the other on the sensitive skin of his side. And most of all, that they were three entire floors from any potential eavesdroppers, and that those eavesdroppers had gone to bed nearly three hours prior.

Every nerve ending in Sam'd body was on fire. His stomach felt as if it was rolling down a hill and had left the rest of him at the top. He was so close to Gabriel, so incredibly close. This was the first time they were this close somewhere other than in the theater, though they'd never been this close in the theater. All of those moments in the theater, even the moments in Gabriel's car, paled in comparison to this. They were touching and feeling and being together like they never had before. Sam only knew how to describe it as a snowball; escalating slowly, building and building and building to a fluffy end. Sam would blush if he weren't already burning up with anticipation.

They were both so tired, which made for lazy, sloppy kisses, and long, lingering touches. It would have been agonizing if either of them were completely awake. But they ad both slowed to half speed, tasting each other longer. Everything lasted a heartbeat too long. It was so much better than that, too though. It wasn't lazy and gentle. It was lazy and needy somehow, even in slow motion. Even at half speed, they were gasping for breath and shoving against each other, teeth clashing, nails scraping lines on skin. Every kiss was breathtaking. And Sam had never been so eager to feel the sweet nip of a hickey developing under his jaw.

Sam was even brave enough to give Gabriel a hickey. A real, proper one. Before this, he'd only ever kiss Gabriel's neck. He was too afraid of hurting him, or doing it wrong. But tonight he felt untouchable, so he sucked and bit and made the majority of the surface space of Gabriel's collarbones a satisfying shade of deep purple.

As the night progressed the neediness turned into gentleness. Gabriel was always gentle with Sam, even though Sam was nearly an entire foot taller than him. They had slowed even more, almost to a stop. But not quite...

 

 

"Have you ever done this before?"

"No."

"Are you sure you want to?"

"Yes."

"Are you really sure?"

"Yes."

"Are you really, really sure?"

"Yes, Gabriel! I'm sure."

"Alright."

"Okay."

"Are you ready?"

"Yes."

"Come here."

"Okay."

 

 

What do you think comes after this for us?" Sam asked as he ran his fingers through Gabriel's hair, while Gabriel traced lazy circles on Sam's stomach with his fingers. It was cold in the room, but they were hot and sweaty, sharing body heat, their blanker pushed down to where Sam's hips began. They were laying tangled in each other, the naked, sleepy aftermath of long moments of sweat and skin and heavy, labored breathing. Sam couldn't keep his eyes open, but he didn't want to fall asleep. As long as Gabriel existed, he didn't want to fall asleep. He didn't want to miss a single moment. He had been with Gabe since 9am the morning before and he still couldn't get enough of him.

"After what?" Gabriel asked, and Sam could feel his vocal cords vibrate against his collarbone.

"Tomorrow," Sam said.

Gabriel kissed his neck, his cheek. His heart was still fluttering, trying to reign itself in; Sam could feel it pulsing against his side. "I hope more of this," Gabe offered. "Why? What do you think comes after?"

"I don't know," Same mused. "That's why I asked."

Gabriel chuckled. "You're cute when you're worried," he whispered, craning his neck to kiss Sam.

"I'm not cute," Sam grumbled, but he knew he'd lose that argument.

Gabriel didn't pursue it. He grabbed Sam's hand out of his hair and played with his fingers. "Why are you always so worried about our future?"

"Because I didn't know there was one until now," Sam admitted.

Gabriel flinched. "Does this have to do with-"

"No. I told you, I don't care about your past, Gabriel. I guess... I guess I just feel like you're too good for me."

Gabriel pulled Sam's hand up to his lips and kissed the back of it. "That's funny. Because I always thought you were too good for me."

"What?" Sam blurted.

"Yeah," Gabriel smirked. "You're a straight A student. Top of your class. Your brother's got a pretty badass car. Not to mention, you've definitely got the cutest butt in the universe. But who's counting?"

Sam nudged him with his leg. "I'm not cute," he mumbled.

"You're incredibly cute."

""How long until you stop saying that?"

"I'll say it as many times as it takes to get through your thick skull."

"I'm not cute," Sam grumbled.

"Goodnight, Sam."

"I can't wait to wake up next to you tomorrow," Sam whispered, kissing Gabriel's temple.

Gabriel pulled the sheet up to his chin and wrapped an arm across Sam's bare middle. "The sooner you go to sleep, the sooner you'll wake up."

"Goodnight, Gabriel."

"Goodnight, love."

Sam fell asleep to the quiet sounds of Gabriel's snoring, and the comforting creaking of his house. He was so warm, so safe. His heartbeat matched up with Gabriel's, and both slowed together. And slowly, every so gently, the two of them fell asleep.

Sam dreamt of musical and Gabriel, and the smell of cinnamon.


	23. Take Down Day

"I gotta say, Winchester, I was a bit worried that you'd never bite my neck. But now I see it was for my own good. Are you sure you aren't a vampire or something?" Gabriel mused, dabbing makeup on his purple collarbones, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. He'd just taken a shower, his hair still dripping and curling in on itself at the temples.

Sam snorted. "Far from it."

"Well there is no covering this up. Even with theater makeup. For God's sake, Sam, this stuff is supposed to be able to cover up tattoos," Gabriel said, waving the bottle in Sam's face.

"Can I get some of that?" Sam asked, grabbing at the bottle.

"All I'm saying is, I'm impressed. Both by your determination and your uncanny ability to underestimate yourself-"

 

"Gabriel-"

"Of course, it could have been beginners luck. There's a theory to test."

"Gabriel."

"Alright, alright," Gabe smiled. "Hold still."

 

 

Gabriel's mother cooked them breakfast, pancakes and bacon and scrambled eggs. Sam tried to resist the gesture, but she wouldn't take no for an answer, so he ate the breakfast, and downed an orange juice too. They were up a bit early. They didn't have to be in the theater until noon to take everything apart - hence the name "Take Down Day."

It was a quiet, grey morning, very fitting for the occasion. If you didn't know the context, you'd think Sam was preparing himself to go to some sort of bizarre group funeral, as his thoughts were only of mourning, sadness, and pure, unadulterated denial.

Sam and Gabe sat on the couch together watching cartoons and sipping orange juice until it was time to leave. Gabriel helped Sam get all of his things to the car, then they were off. The day had officially begun. There was no turning back now.

 

 

"So this is really it," Sam said as they pulled into the theater lot. "The last day."

"Stop that," Gabriel chastised, squeezing Sam's hand. "Save the tears for the final bow."

Sam took a deep breath. His chest felt tight. The cold morning air felt heavier than usual. He didn't want to get out of the car and go into the theater - that would make it real - but he numbly followed Gabriel toward the stage doors. 

There were four hours of normal, every day interaction, but another day at crew. They took everything apart, piling the wood that was still okay to use up in the set room. They stacked all of the flats up against each other, either in the corners of the wings, or in the back room of the set room. Sam swept up more screws that he'd ever seen in his whole life. They worked in diligent silence, no one willing to acknowledge that it was truly the last day.

Soon, the stage was empty of dust and sets alike, but Sam's chest was even more so. It was all gone. He was sitting in the seats, staring up at an empty stage, any trace of their hard work wiped away.

Sam watched as the stage crew seniors painted their hands Greased Lightning red and slapped the cinder block walls above the sink in the set room. He watched as the cast seniors wrote their names in golden sharpie on the cinder block walls of the dressing room. He stared at Gabriel's name for a long time. Soon, very soon, this theater, their theater, would be inhabited by people who didn't recognize a single name on that wall. Even sooner still, there would be people who didn't know Gabriel, or Zach, or Balthazar, or anyone. It made Sam a bit nauseous, to think about how truly fleeting and temporary his time here was. Soon everyone he associated with this place, with the incredible memories, will be nothing but a smudge of permanent marker on a wall that's only fate is to be painted over, eventually.

Gabriel found him after a while, and told him it was time for him to take his final bow. He kissed Sam, and wiped a tear off his cheek. Upset and defeated, Sam followed the rest of the freshman, sophomores, and juniors into the green room, and Gabriel followed the seniors onto the stage. Gabriel and the rest of the seniors were on stage now, taking their final bow for an empty theater. Sam had a lump in his throat just thinking about it. Anna took his hand, and gripped it tight.

Finally, mercifully, the directors called them into the theater, to sit in the seats so the seniors could bow for them, one last time. They were given a standing ovation. After they came up out of their bow, Sam could see tears glinting on Gabriel's cheeks. Sam couldn't stop the tears after that.

They all met on stage for one final hurrah, hugging and crying and trying to forget how empty they all felt. Gabriel kept reminding Sam that they'd see each other at school tomorrow, and maybe even at the beach that night. But Sam was inconsolable. Everyone was. Even Zach was crying, which would have been comical if Sam didn't feel like his soul left his body in an attempt to avoid the pain he felt. Sam hadn't cried that much since he broke his arm when he was six. After he hugged all of his friends, he didn't let go of Gabriel again. He didn't want to leave. Because he knew they wouldn't be coming back again. That made it final.

Sam got to keep a sign he had painted, and Gabriel got to keep his T-Birds jacket. They walked methodically towards the theater lobby to meet their parents and friends as a unit, unwilling to break the silence, lest they start crying again. Everyone had red puffy eyes, and almost no one walked without someone to hold onto. Sam wasn't sure how he could get through the next few hours without this.

He already missed everyone so badly his heart hurt, and they weren't even apart yet.


	24. Caught In The Headlights

The phone rang.

But no one moved to pick it up. Dean was busy curled over Castiel, and Cas was pinned under him, bare skin, slick with sweat, sliding against bare skin. The skin of Cas's back kept sticking to the pleather, leaving marks and dents in his skin. Dean's knee kept sliding off the edge of the couch cushion. They were lost in each other, orbiting around one another, pressing against each other so hard it hurt. Dean's mouth trailed up and down Cas's neck, and Cas was moaning to the rhythm of it. Their heartbeats had synchronized, and they moved as one, breathing each other in and out heavily.

The phone rang again but they ignored it, Dean sucking on the smooth flesh under the right side of Castiel's jaw. Cas tipped his head back, giving him more room. Cas tensed when he felt Dean's teeth against his neck, sucking in a sharp breath. Dean moved back to his lips to silence him, kissing him deeply, passionately. Dean's skin felt like fire, every nerve ending heating up and blazing. His head was spinning.

The phone rang a third time, then a fourth. Then Dean was biting down hard on Cas's bottom lip. And Cas had locked his legs around Dean's middle. And they were sitting up and Cas was sitting in his lap, moaning loud and low in his throat, Dean's breath hitching as they situated themselves. Dean's legs were folded under him awkwardly. He looped his arms under Cas's legs and lifted him, shuffling into a more comfortable position, and the phone just kept ringing.

Cas had a death grip on Dean's shoulder with one hand, the other cupped around Dean's cheek, his thumb brushing against Dean's stubble every now and again. Dean ran his hands all down the warm, pleather imprinted skin of Cas's bare back, feeling the muscles ripple and flutter beneath flesh and bone. He settled his hands on Cas's hips, steadying him, as the phone rang again. Cas shuddered and pulled his face away, breathing hot and heavy. "Shouldn't you get that?" Cas breathed, his voice husky, blue eyes hooded and fluttering.

"Let the machine get it," Dean managed to mumble, green eyes dewy and misty, dark pine green in the darkness of the room. He was slurring his words, his tongue heavy, his lips swollen from a long day of kissing. "Don't stop, Cas. Please." It came out airy and pleading, a needy whisper.

Dean adjusted his grip on Cas's hips and pressed his lips against Cas's, holding him tighter, kissing him slower, tasting him, as the phone rang faintly. The tempo picked up again, their lips colliding in varying intervals, all uneven breath and synchronized heartbeats, as the machine played a muted voice they couldn't hear through the other room. Neither of them moved to get it.

They didn't know how long had gone by, shoving against each other on Dean's couch, kissing and touching and existing together. Dean had never felt so light and heavy at the same time before. He felt so real, so solid, with Cas moving slowly in his lap, breathing him in, tasting him, making it impossible to breathe. But he'd never felt so weightless. He'd never felt so exempt from the rules of the universe, so untouchable. Maybe coming here wasn't such a bad idea. But after today it would be back to the Impala anyway, unless something else was taking up Sam's time.

Cas was pushing against Dean's chest, gently shoving him back into the couch to come up on top of him, each knee on either side of Dean's hips to straddle him. Dean's nails were digging into Cas's hips now, making indents in his skin. Dean was biting down hard on his own lower lip, hard enough to break the skin, his head tipped back against the couch cushion, lost in the moment. He was so close, so close, when the headlights flooded in through the front window. The two of them froze, then immediately, wordlessly fell against each other, pressing as low on the couch as they could manage. Dean's eyes widened as his head snapped up over the back of the couch. Cas watched him panic for a minute.

"Shit!" Dean exclaimed. "Shit, shit, shit."

"It's John, isn't it?" Cas asked.

Dean nodded. "Go. Go!"

Cas slowly rolled off of Dean onto the floor, careful not to be seen over the back of the couch. Dean looked at him intensely. "The back door," he hissed.

The two of them hastily gathered their clothes off the floor and dashed for the kitchen. Dean skidded to a stop and threw the screen door open. They plummeted blindly out into the cold black of the night, bare feet sliding against the damp grass, the back door closing behind them just as John pulled the front door open. Cas immediately started shivering, shoving himself back into his clothes as fast as he could.

Dean grabbed Cas's wrist and led him around the house, dogs barking in the distance as they shoved themselves between the neighbor's fence and the side of the house. They were pressed together, panting, attempting to get back into their clothes.

"Go to my car," Dean breathed, trying hard to catch his breath, steaming grey in the cold air, attempting to do up the remaining buttons on his shirt with shaking hands. "I need to talk to... talk to him. Then we'll... get Sam and I'll drive you home."

Cas nodded. "I'm so sorry, Dean."

Dean grimaced. "Are you kidding? It's my fault."

"No-"

"Yes," Dean emphasized. "Now go."

Cas blinked at him in the darkness. Dean gave him a not so reassuring smile and squeezed his arm. Cas took off around the house, and Dean ducked back inside to face his father.


	25. Cut Short

"Okay, I know being yelled at was kinda a mood killer, but I haven't had this much fun since we almost got caught in the public restroom by that mall cop-"

"Cas," Dean growled, rolling his eyes as he climbed into the Impala.

"I know. Not the time..."

Dean started the Impala and peeled out of the driveway. It was 6:31pm. Dean was supposed to be there to pick up Sam a minute ago; he'd lost track of time, to put it simply.

"Goddammit, I wanna stop this car right now and finish what we started," Dean hissed, "but I've been cursed with a conscience."

Cas smiled. "My parents won't be home tonight," he said. "If you can get out of the house, anyway."

"I don't know, Cas. I don't think anyone's getting what they want tonight. Not us. Not Sam. Goddammit, and it's all my fault! If I'd just picked up the fucking phone!"

"You have a good excuse-"

"I have a shit excuse! You're a good excuse to me, Cas. But to Sam... I'm just selfish. I ruined our time, and I ruined his time. No one wins. John's pissed. Sam's pissed. And goddammit, Cas, I'm sexually frustrated."

"Dean, you're rambling," Cas pointed out delicately.

Dean threw up a hand. "I've just been left on the edge of an orgasm! Sorry if I'm a little high strung."

"Well, I forgive you," Cas offered. "Even though it was cut a bit short, I had a great time."

They pulled into the school parking lot. "I know, Cas. I was there. For God's sake, Sam probably heard from here."

Cas flinched. "You're mean when you're frustrated," he said playfully.

"Shut up, Cas."

 

 

The crowd in the theater lobby had started thinning out, but the chatter sounded louder to Sam than ever. He had stood on a bench to find Dean again, and found him cutting through the crowd quickly, almost in a panic, with a wide-eyed Castiel trailing behind him, holding onto his shirt sleeve.

Sam met them halfway. He was about to ask to go to the beach with Gabriel when he saw the look in Dean's eyes, and his voice died in his throat.

"Dean, what's wrong?"

Dean grabbed Sam's shoulder. "We have to go, Sammy."

"What's wrong? What happened?"

"I'll tell you in the car. Come on," Dean growled.

Sam wasn't ready to leave. Dean started tugging at his arm, so Sam started pulling away. He wasn't ready to say goodbye to this part of his life. After tonight, everything would be different. Once he walked out the door, and it closed behind him, that was it. It would be over for real. He didn't want to leave. He didn't want it to be over. He wasn't ready yet.

Tears started welling in his eyes, and he knew it was stupid, so he shook his head and tried not to let them spill over. "Dean-"

"Sam," Dean growled. He was serious. They stopped tugging at each other. "Sam, Dad's home," he hissed through gritted teeth.

"So?" Sam was yelling now. "You said you'd cover for me, Dean! What happened to that?"

"I'm so sorry, Sam. I fucked up. He saw my car in the driveway. I had to talk to him."

"And why did he see your car? Didn't he call before he got home, like he always does?"

Dean looked at his shoes and cleared his throat. He wouldn't meet Sam's gaze.

"Well?" Sam demanded, angry now.

Dean grabbed both of Sam's forearms before he could tear away from him. "I'm so sorry, Sammy. But you have to believe that I didn't want this to happen, or let it happen. You aren't the only one in trouble with Dad right now."

Sam's face relaxed into surprise. The heat fell out of his voice. "Oh," he sighed.

"We have to go, Sam. We'll talk more later. But right now, we have to go."

Sam's eyes started watering again. Dean kept saying that. "We have to go." It was the last thing Sam wanted to do. Sam wanted to pack up his stuff and move into the theater. He wanted to live here with Gabriel forever. He wasn't ready to leave. 

"Can't you just... can't you tell him... something?" Sam pleaded.

"Tell him what, Sammy? That you went out with your friends? You know how well that'll go over."

Sam pouted. "But Dean I... I finally have friends."

"Sam, I know, and I'm sorry. I wish you could go and have your fun but... It's too late."

He was desperate. "Isn't there some way-" His voice cracked.

Dean shook his head. He wouldn't look at Sam. "I'm sorry, Sam."

Sam was definitely going to start crying again. He relaxed his body, and Dean let go of him. Sam wiped his eyes with a shirt sleeve. "Can I at least say goodbye one last time?" he whispered.

Dean hated seeing him so upset. He wanted to give Sam the world. He nodded. "We'll be in the car," he said.

Sam turned to pick Gabriel out of the crowd. He spotted him strolling back towards backstage. He ran to catch up.

"Hey!" Gabriel sang as Sam reached him. His face changed when he saw the tears on Sam's cheeks. "Hey- what's wrong?" he asked, pulling Sam into him. He wiped the tears away with his thumbs.

Sam shook his head. "I can't go tonight, I'm so sorry. Our last night, and it's ruined."

Gabriel's eyebrows pulled together. "Sam, what month is it?"

Caught off guard, Sam opened his mouth pleadingly to answer, but snapped it shut when he registered what Gabriel had asked. "What?"

"What month is it?"

"Well, March. But-"

"Yeah, it's March. As in, not August. If you think you're getting rid of me this easily, Winchester, check your calendar first."

Sam smiled. "But today is special. It's the last night of musical-"

"And there will be more musicals next year. Maybe not here, not for me. But I won't be so far away, Sam. Do you really think I'm not head-over-heels in love with you?"

Sam's heart stopped. His smile widened. "I think I'm head-over-heels in love with you, too," he whispered.

Gabriel kissed him. "Do what you have to do, Sam. I'll see you tomorrow."

Sam nodded and left him, feeling numb and exhilarated and still a little angry. He climbed into the Impala and as soon as the door was closed, Dean peeled out.


	26. Chick Flick Moments

"I think Dad thought Cas was a girl up until now," Dean said shyly. He was glad it was dark in their room, he didn't want Sam to see him blush.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

Dean hesitated. "Just... Cas is kind of a unisex name, ya know? What is it short for? Cassandra? Cassedy?"

"Castiel?" Sam chipped in.

"Exactly. So, he just assumed, I guess, that Cas was a girl because of that. But then..." Dean paused, and chuckled. "Tonight, I think it became pretty clear that Cas is definitely a guy."

Sam snorted. "Do I wanna know what that means?"

Dean laughed too. "Let's just say, Cas definitely doesn't have boobs."

Sam burst out laughing, then bit down on his tongue to stifle the noise. "So he really caught you this time, huh?"

"On the couch," Dean said. "He saw us through the front window when he pulled up."

"Dean!"

"I was under the impression that he wouldn't be home until tomorrow night!"

Sam scoffed. "But you were supposed to be picking me up, anyway."

Dean shrugged. "What can I say? I thought we could be quick, but I guess I was wrong."

"Jesus Christ, Dean."

"Alright, enough about me. I wanna hear about last night," Dean said, and Sam could hear the smile in his voice.

Sam was taken aback. "What about it?"

"Did you have fun? What happened?"

Sam choked on his own spit he was so caught off guard. "Uh... yeah, it was fun."

Dean frowned. "That's it? It was fun?"

Sam stuttered. "Well, not much happened. We were just kinda... chilling."

"Is that slang?"

"Jesus- NO!"

"I'm just curious," Dean said defensively.

"There were nearly 60 people there, Dean."

Dean chuckled. "That hasn't stopped me-"

Sam made a gagging noise. "Goodnight, Dean."

"Aw, come on! I'm sorry, okay? No more. I just wanna hear about your night."

"It was fine, alright?"

"I bet it was."

"Dean-"

"Sam, you can tell me what happened-"

"It seems like you've already decided what you wanna hear."

"You did it, didn't you?"

Sam sighed dramatically and flopped backward on his bed. He felt all the air go out of his lungs before he whispered, "Yeah."

"Alright, Sammy!" Dean exclaimed. "How was it?"

"I don't wanna talk about this anymore," Sam said, crawling under the covers.

"Fine," Dean said. "That's all I wanted to know."

Sam changed his mind. "Wait, Dean?"

"What?"

Sam hesitated. "What was your first time like?"

Dean made a noise of confusion. "I thought you didn't wanna talk about it-"

"I changed my mind, okay? Just... what was it like?"

Dean was quiet for a while. Then, he cleared his throat. "My first time was with a girl, Lisa Braeden, back in Arlington. Do you remember that horrible bunk bed we had?"

"How could I forget?" Sam laughed.

"Do you remember when it broke? The whole top caved in on itself?"

"Yeah. That was so strange."

Dean chuckled. "There's a perfectly good explanation, actually."

"Wait-"

"It was an accident-"

"You didn't!"

"We did. In retrospect it was one of the smartest ideas I've ever had. Sure, we were almost crushed, but I couldn't be blamed since it was technically your bed. And Dad freaked out so bad that we up and left the next day. I never saw Lisa again. Saved me a lot of embarrassment."

Sam laughed. "You were a junior, right?"

"Yep. Lisa and I had Biology together. I was actually trying to get the attention of the kid next to her, Donnie. She thought I was winking at her. Neither here nor there," Dean mused.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"You asked!" Dean exclaimed. He went on anyway. A much as Dean said he hated sharing, once Sam got him going, it was hard to stop him. "I was scared as hell. And even more scared after we broke the freaking bed."

"Please, that thing was held together with duct tape and glue," Sam chimed in.

"The fear was real," Dean joked.

They laughed.

"It was nice though. Ya know, before the bed frame caved in on itself and nearly killed us," Dean specified. "I was embarrassed for a long time. But we can laugh about it now that it's over."

Sam sighed. "Alright, listen. The reason I didn't wanna talk about it is... I'm afraid I'm falling in love with him." Sam said it so softly Dean had to strain himself to catch what he said. "I don't know what its like to be with someone I don't love. I have nothing to compare it to. Or at least, I don't think I do... Do you know what I mean? I mean, about the falling in love thing?"

Dean nodded. "I understand," Dean said, thinking about Cas, and Princeton, and leaving Sammy behind. Maybe Sam would understand now. Or maybe Sam needed Dean now more than ever. "Cas is only my third, but it's different with him. It's different with anyone, obviously. But I mean... it's real with him. I want to do it because I want to be as close to him as humanly possible all the time. With the other two, I was just curious. I just wanted to be able to say I'd done it. But it's different when you love the person. It's better. Sometimes I wish Cas was my first. But finding someone I love on the third go isn't too bad. You're lucky, Sammy."

Sam smirked. "Wait... who was the other person?"

"We didn't move THAT far away initially-"

"Was it Donnie?"

"Yep."

Sam laughed. "So... what should I do? I mean, no, that's not what I mean. I don't know what I'm asking. I'm sorry. I guess I'm just a bit frazzled still."

Dean smiled warmly. "Don't apologize. I understand. My first time with Cas... I didn't sleep at all that night I was so beside myself. It scared me, being so excited about someone. But it's a good kind of scared. Like, you're scared to lose them, scared they'll get hurt, or they'll hurt you..."

Sam smiled sadly. "That's just about where I'm at right now."

"I wish I could give you some advice," Dean said. "But I'm still not entirely sure what to make of it."

"That's okay," Sam said.

Dean was quiet for a while. "Sammy?"

"Yeah?"

Dean took a deep breath and stole himself. "Cas got into Princeton."

"That's great!" Sam exclaimed.

"Yeah..."

"Oh, wait," Sam frowned. "He's moving away, isn't he?"

"Yeah..."

"I'm sorry, Dean."

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"I think... I think I'm gunna go with him."

Sam hesitated. "Oh..."

"I'm sorry, Sammy-"

"No, no. I understand, Dean," Sam assured him. "You should go. If- if you really feel the way you said, then you should go with him."

"Plus, after Dad caught us, he's pretty pissed. He just- he doesn't understand, ya know? So I think it's best that I leave for a while. Let him simmer down."

Sam nodded. "And don't worry about me, Dean. Do what you have to do. I'll be fine."

"I know you will, Sammy."


	27. First Date

Sam had started sitting with Gabriel at lunch. There wasn't anyone at his table that he knew really well, so it wasn't a big deal to move so late in the year. Among those he knew at the new table were Sammandriel, Balthazar, Michael, and Cas. He'd seen Hannah around before, but other than that, the other side of the table was foreign to him. Gabriel sat so close to Sam he could feel the warmth of him.

"I wanna take you on a date," Gabriel said idly to Sam one day, when everyone had broken off into separate conversations. "Like a real, proper date. We've been together for a while. I haven't even bought you a proper dinner."

"You've done plenty for me," Sam smiled. "Where did you want to go?"

Gabriel frowned. "It's a surprise," he decided, with a mischievous smile

Sam rolled his eyes. "Alright, then when is this date?"

Gabe pondered this for a while. "Tonight," he said. "Seven o'clock. I'll pick you up. Dress warm."

Sam smiled. "Hmm... So we'll be outside then?"

Gabriel shrugged innocently. "You'll have to wait and find out."

"The suspense is killing me," Sam joked. 

Gabe smiled, stroking a thumb over Sam's cheek. "Bring those dimples tonight, okay?"

Sam laughed and caught Gabriel's hand in his. "Sure thing."

 

 

"If something happens, find a phone and call me. I'll come pick you up, okay? I'll answer the phone this time, I promise-"

"Dean, I'll be fine," Sam assured him, shrugging into a jacket. He hoped he was dressed appropriately. Gabriel hadn't specified anything about what they'd be doing, just that it might be a little chilly. So Sam threw a sweater over his flannel and hoped it looked nice enough, or casual enough. Whichever one he needed. He'd also combed his hair, after showering, of course. Gabriel had said to treat it like a real first date.

Here," he said, stepping towards Sam. He handed him a 20$ bill. "Try to pay for something, alright? Don't let that pretty boy spoil you."

Sam smiled. "Thanks, Dean."

Dean nodded, smoothing Sam's collar as the doorbell rang. Sam answered the door and Gabriel stood behind it in a coat and scarf, the cold March night having turned his nose and cheeks red. "Ready?" he asked Sam. Sam nodded, stepping out onto the stoop with him.

"Have fun, kids," Dean said ironically, smiling at them.

"I'll have him home by 11, Dean," Gabe said. "On the dot this time," he mumbled afterward, glancing pointedly at Sam.

"Bye, Dean," Sam said as his older brother closed the front door and he and Gabriel were alone.

They climbed into Gabriel's Kia. "So," Sam said, once they'd gotten settled. "Where are we going?"

"How do you feel about Hibachi?"

"Sounds good," Sam said.

"Excellent," Gabriel hummed as he pulled out of Sam's neighborhood and onto the main road. "First stop, Tokyo."

When they pulled up to the restaurant, Sam started to unbuckle his seat belt, but Gabriel stopped him. "Nope. Stay here. I'll be right back, okay?"

Sam frowned in surprise. "Alright..."

Gabriel returned with a large brown bag that smelled delicious. "Have you ever been to Sante Fe Lake?" he asked, as he buckled himself.

Sam only shook his head.

"Then you're in for a treat."

They got to the park just a half hour before the sun dropped behind the trees. No one was out there this late, just a few squirrels and the toads beginning to emerge after a long winter. Gabriel laid out a picnic blanket on the shore of the lake, just out of the leafy reaches of the branches of a large maple tree, and the two of them shared Hibachi shrimp and steak, watching the clouds lazily mix with the water color sunset.

"Quite a first date," Sam mused into his Hibachi. "I'm impressed."

Gabriel smiled, but it was hard to see in the ever dimming light. "I've been waiting for the right person to bring here," he said. "I found it a few years back with my dad. Just wait until the sun goes down. The stars are so much brighter here, less light pollution. Just far enough from town to make a difference."

The moon was already shining, bright and waning away to Sam's left, opposite the lake. "So how long has it been?" Sam asked. "Two weeks without a proper date?"

"That makes us sound so cheap, doesn't it? Especially if you factor in Saturday..." Gabriel mused.

"I think we're outliers," Sam said confidently. "We did spend an average of 8 hours a day together for the first two weeks, so..."

Gabriel shook his head. "God, it felt like so much longer than that. I feel like I've known you my whole life, Sam Winchester."

Sam swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. "Me too," was all he managed.

"And I thought it might be weird now, ya know, after musical. But it's not. It's so ordinary. We're on our first date, but it feels like the hundredth."

"I know," Sam breathed. "It's a little weird, isn't it? That it isn't weird, I mean."

Gabe smirked. "I think it's a good thing."

"It's definitely a good thing. It's the best thing," Sam said quietly. "I was afraid I wouldn't know what to say to you tonight," he admitted. "But you're right. This is so easy. It's effortless."

"We should have had this first official date a long time ago."

 

 

They laid together on their blanket, wrapped in a separate, much bigger blanket, watching the stars come out to them, forming constellations in the inky black void, Hibachi left-overs discarded. Sam might have fallen asleep if it wasn't so cold. They didn't speak much, just laid together. At one point, Gabriel sang a song Sam didn't recognize, and could barely here; it was mostly just the quiet hum of a melody, a peaceful, dreamy tune. 

Gabriel walked Sam to his front door at 10:59pm. They kissed goodnight, and Sam went straight up to bed. He needed a warm shower, to wash the warmth back into his fingers and toes, but he didn't want to wash the smell of grass and Gabriel off of him. He fell asleep on top of his covers in his jeans and flannel, and dreamed of the summer ahead, spent lazily daydreaming with Gabriel by Sante Fe Lake.


	28. Tangled In Each Other

"Dean?" Cas asked as he opened the door to find his boyfriend standing out in the March cold, bathed in the gold light of his porch light, smiling and holding a yellow plastic grocery bag. "What are you doing here?"

Dean shuffled his feet. "Have you eaten dinner yet?"

Cas checked his watch. It was nearly 8 o'clock. His stomach growled. "No, actually."

"Great," Dean said. "Can I come in?"

Cas stepped aside to let him in. "You didn't answer my question before," Cas pointed out, closing the front door behind Dean.

Dean was kicking his shoes off and shrugging out of his jacket. "Oh, just... I know you committed to Princeton today, and that your parents are out of town for the rest of the week and... Well, I just thought you'd want to celebrate."

"With...pancakes?" Cas asked, peeking into Dean's grocery bag.

"You are the one who likes breakfast for dinner, right? I got it right? Please tell me I got it right?' Dean asked, wide-eyed.

Cas's confusion softened into a chuckle. "No, yeah. You're right. I do enjoy eating foods at inappropriate times of the day," Cas said.

Dean smiled. "That's what I like to hear!" he sang before turning on his heel and heading for Cas's kitchen. Cas's kitchen was nice; beautiful granite counter tops, an island in the center with four bar stools surrounding it, stainless steel appliances, and tall, white cabinets.

"Let me get you a pan-" Cas started but Dean held his hand up.

Dean shook his head. "Nope," he said, patting the middle of the island, across from the stove. "You're gunna sit right up here and watch me try not to burn this bacon. Then we're gunna eat breakfast food at 8pm and pretend you don't have to go to school tomorrow. Capiche?"

Cas moved into Dean and kissed him softly. "Fine," he hummed, looking up at Dean.

Dean held his hips as he jumped up backwards onto the counter and settled himself, socked feet brushing against Dean's legs. "There you go," Dean smiled, hands sliding down the front of Cas's thighs. Cas leaned forward and kissed his forehead. Dean moved forward as Cas pulled back, standing on his tippy toes to kiss him again.

Cas pushed him away playfully. "I'm hungry, Chef Dean. Get cooking."

"As you wish, angel," Dean whispered, backing away.

He started with the bacon, and Cas absentmindedly nibbled at a piece as Dean finished the rest of the meal. Bacon, eggs, pancakes, orange juice. The whole thing. Dean hopped up on the counter with Cas when he had finished and they ate together in silence, watching each others eyes, the way they moved in the dim kitchen light.

When they had finished, both of their stomachs full and warm, they sat cross-legged on the island, playing thumb war endlessly, pointlessly, as they chatted.

"So I found an apartment building just off campus," Dean said. "It's pretty cheep. Probably because a lot of college kids live there. But it's close to you. That's all that matters."

Cas smiled a sad smile. "That's great," he mumbled. He seemed distracted.

"Hey. What's wrong?" Dean asked, pinning Cas's thumb against his hand.

Cas shook himself. "Oh, nothing. Just... I don't want things to change. I like my life right now. I don't want to move away, even if you are coming with me."

Dean let go of Cas's hands and gently pulled Cas closer, placing a hand on his neck, kissing his cheek. "It's gunna be okay, Cas," Dean promised. "I don't wanna leave either," he hummed, low in his throat. "I wish we could eat breakfast for dinner every day and the world could just go on turning around us. But... miles to go, right? Miles to go..."

Cas looked down at his hands coiled in his lap. He took a deep breath. "Something like that," Cas managed awkwardly, flashing Dean a broken, crooked smile. 

"Come on," Dean said, straightening up. He tossed his legs over the side of the counter and hopped down.

"Where are we going?" Cas asked.

"The living room. Have you ever seen Tangled?"

Cas shook his head.

Dean smiled. "Good thing I brought it, then."

 

 

Sam hadn't even realized that Dean's car wasn't in the driveway when Gabriel dropped him off. He was a little busy caught up in Gabriel, and the feeling of comfort blooming in his stomach. He had gone into the house without realizing that it was dark and that Dean wasn't waiting up for him. And when he made it all the way upstairs without even saying hi to Dean, he started to panic.

He ran to the window to see if the Impala was in the driveway. He ran all over the house calling his brother's name but Dean was nowhere to be found. He finally decided that if something had happened, Dean would have left some sort of note or something. But he couldn't sleep now. So he sat up waiting for someone, anyone, to come home.

The clock blinked 11:00pm at him.

 

 

Dean and Cas were spooning on the couch. The movie had ended quite a while ago, the menu screen playing over and over silently, the two of them tangled in each other and asleep on the couch. The clock on the DVD player flashed 11:30pm.

Cas didn't wake up until the light flicked on. He heard the door opening and closing subconsciously, but didn't register what was happening until the light was on, and his mother was gasping. "Cas! Dean?" she gasped as the two of them woke up out of the best sleep of their lives. She wasn't angry, just surprised; she'd known of their relationship for quite a while now. But Cas's parents had strict rules against Cas having company over while they were away.

They were both supposed to be gone all week on separate business trips. Cas guessed his mom's trip was cut short.

The two of them shot up, the blanket slipping off of them onto the ground, blinking into the light. Mrs. Novak stood in the doorway to the kitchen behind them.

"Oh... Hey, Mrs. Novak. Nice to see you," Dean said awkwardly.

Cas turned beet red, and sunk his face into his hand.

No one spoke for a while, so Dean decided to let himself out. "Well..." Dean said, getting to his feet. "I am very late. So, uh, gotta jet." He winced at his own words. "I'll, uh, I'll see ya tomorrow, Cas. Thanks for... um... yeah," he mumbled, edging out of the room, Cas's face getting redder with every syllable.

Dean slipped from the house with shouts of disapproval behind him. He didn't know what sort of state Cas would be in tomorrow; whether he'd be mad or annoyed or even amused that Dean bailed on him. 

But they'd been caught before, by Cas's dad. That was much worse. They'd been in Cas's bed, once again thinking no one was home. Dean had nowhere to go, so Cas shoved him into the closet. And, when they'd been caught, inevitably, as he came guiltily shuffling out of Cas's closet in nothing but his boxers, which he'd put on backwards in the darkness, Dean dropped one of his favorite original one-liners: "What a way to come out of the closet, huh?" Mr. Novak wasn't very happy. Cas was even less so.

So Dean decided to duck outta there before he could make things any worse. He got in the Impala feeling guilty.


	29. Cabin Fever

"I wish you could come," Gabriel practically whined. They were waiting outside of Cas's house, and Gabe was sitting on the trunk of his car, knees on either side of Sam's hips, swinging his legs absentmindedly so his heels banged against the car. Sam kissed him briefly, brushing a strand of hair off of Gabriel's forehead.

"So do I," Sam said, as if they'd had this conversation 100 times, which they practically had. "But my dad is going to be home all weekend. Dean and I are stranded here until he leaves."

Gabriel pouted and Sam kissed him again; seeing Gabriel upset made staying here even worse. It was spring break, the last week of March, and Gabriel and a few of his friends were going camping. Castiel was included in that group, and both Sam and Dean had been invited. But after the whole Take Down Day fiasco, their dad had been up their butts about everything, and had decided to take a short break from his job, which incidentally happened to fall on the same weekend as spring break. So Sam and Dean were looking forward to a long weekend of lectures and isolation, while Gabe and Cas had nothing but campfires, hiking, and smores in store for them. None of them were very happy about the arrangement, but at least Gabe and Cas would be having fun.

"God, I wish I could just shove you in my trunk and make a break for it but you're such a freak of nature I don't even think you'd fit," Gabe joked.

"You're such a dork," Sam laughed, and kissed Gabriel deeper, the two of them smiling against each others mouths. They broke apart when they heard the garage door open, Cas struggling to lug everything out to Gabe's car at once. Sam rushed around the car to help him.

 

 

When they dropped Sam off in front of his house, Dean was no where in sight. The Impala wasn't in the driveway. Sam methodically climbed the front steps and wandered into the house, waving at Gabe's Kia as it sped away. Sam called for his dad but no one answered. He and Dean must have been out somewhere, though it was unusual for Dean to drive in that situation.

Sam wasn't sure what to do with himself. A big empty house all to himself and nothing to do for the next 5 days. His head had never felt as simultaneously big and empty as it did right then. It wasn't even noon yet and Sam was already thinking about sleep. He'd only been awake for three hours, tops.

He wished Dean were home, then he'd have something to do. Sam just wanted to get out of the house. The air was warm and smelled vaguely of spring today; he deserved to be outside enjoying it. But he knew what would happen if he weren't there when they got home. So instead, he took a nice warm shower and went back to bed.

 

 

"Sammy?" Dean asked, shaking Sam awake. "Sam, it's 5 o'clock in the afternoon. What are you doing sleeping?"

Sam blinked into the light on the ceiling fan, rubbing the crusties out of his eyes. "Man, I tried to take an hour nap. Turns out it was a 4 hour nap."

Dean smiled as Sam sat up. "I wish I could have been sleeping," he said.

Sam yawned as he regained his bearings, remembering that Dean and John had been gone when he got home. "Oh, yeah. Where were you guys?" Sam asked.

Dean chuckled, dropping his shoulders. "Dad got a call for a job. He said he needed back up, but I think he really just wanted to lecture me about Cas."

Sam frowned. "What did he say?"

Dean shook his head. "Just that I "shouldn't be jumping into something so quickly" or whatever. To be completely honest, I tuned most of it out. I mostly just got the vibe that he wasn't happy."

Sam nodded. "Well, I asked Cas if he'd seen you this morning and he just kind of shrugged me off. Any idea what that's about?" Sam asked, arching an eyebrow.

Dean sighed. "Yeah, he's probably not too happy with me right now either."

"Why?"

"His mom kinda caught us-"

"Dean!"

"Spooning. On his couch. God, Sammy. Get your mind out of the gutter," Dean joked. Sam fumbled for a comeback, but only managed to stutter. Dean nudged his shoulder and got to his feet. "Come on, Sam. I've been here for ten minutes and I'm already going out of my mind. Talk about cabin fever. Let's get out of here."

"Where are we going?" Sam asked as he rose to his feet and stretched.

Dean shrugged. "I'm feelin' burgers. You?"

Sam frowned. "I could go for a burger."

 

 

"I'm just saying, you can't even follow your own advice. It's irresponsible, Dean," Sam nagged as they slid into a booth together at the diner.

Dean blanched. "Excuse me?"

"It's true! You literally told me to be careful around certain people. I've never been caught once."

Dean gave him a "bitch please" face.

"Alright!" Sam grumbled. "I've never been caught by anyone that cared."

Dean gave him another face, more skeptical this time.

"Seriously. Gabriel's house is three stories, not including the basement. And his parents love me; they practically beg Gabe to invite me over," Sam bragged.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Alright, well not all of us can be Sam Winchester so sorry for not being perfect."

Sam laughed. "Come on, Dean."

Dean sipped his soda and looked up at Sam across the table. "I'm just trying to think about the future, okay? Cas has kinda been pushing me away a little lately. He isn't taking the whole "graduating, moving on with you life" thing very well. It's kind of been weighing on both of us. So, we've been letting our guard down a little. Maybe a little more danger is what we need."

Sam shook his head. "We both know that's gunna come back to bite you in the ass, Dean."

Sighing dramatically, Dean dragged a hand through his hair. "Well, we only have a few more months here. Then... then we'll be 20 hours and 53 minutes away. Dad can't catch us there. It'll be better for all of us," Dean said, his voice hollow.

"Do you really believe that?" Sam asked, his eyebrows knitting together.

Dean shrugged. "I have to."

"You don't always have to be the only strong one, Dean," Sam offered.

Dean smirked at him. "You're right, Sammy. We all have to be strong."


	30. Kinks and Other Aspirations

Dean couldn't believe Cas agreed to do this. He was so excited and surprised that he was rushing, accidentally being rougher with Cas than he'd intended, as he hurried him into position, shoving him up against the headboard and closing the handcuffs around his wrists a little too tight. Something in Dean's stomach fluttered when he realized what was actually happening; Dean had managed to talk Cas into exploring one of his many kinks.

Dean got right into it. He didn't waste any time prepping both of them, eager to enjoy himself before Cas changed his mind about the handcuffs. Cas looked incredible with his entire abdomen exposed like that, back arched so that Dean could count every muscle. Dean hurried to begin.

"Ow! Dean, wait," Cas mumbled, fidgeting, struggling against his binds. Dean ignored Cas, or rather, ignored what he was trying to say. It only spurred him on really. He would have gone wild when Cas bit down on his bottom lip, if it hadn't seemed so urgent.

"What? What is it, Cas?" Dean asked, his voice rough.

"There's something under my shoulder blade," Cas whined, wriggling under Dean's comforting weight.

Gingerly, Dean lifted Cas towards him, handcuffs and headboard stressing, and pulled an army man from the cushion.

Then suddenly, in a blink, they were in the backseat of the Impala, Cas handcuffed to the door handle, and nothing had stopped, nothing had changed other than location. Cas was still moaning so low in his throat that Dean could feel it reverberate against where their bare chests were touching, Dean still holding Cas in place by his hips. 

And Cas was moaning his name. Then he was screaming his name. "Dean! Dean!" And suddenly, it wasn't Cas's voice anymore. It morphed into Sam's voice, submission becoming urgency, arousal becoming worry.

"Dean!" Sam yelled, shaking his brother awake.

Dean burst from the dream sweaty and out of breath, his chest heaving as he gasped for a proper gulp of air.

"Dean, you were yelling and thrashing. It sounded like you were having a nightmare," Sam said, and Dean's eyes struggled to focus on his worried face in the darkness. The clock on the bedside table blinked 3:23am.

Dean groaned and sat up, rubbing at his eyes. "I was," Dean lied.

"What about?" Sam asked innocently.

Dean grimaced. "Cas. I think."

"Oh..." Sam breathed. He seemed startled, probably because he thought Dean was having a seizure. "Well, it was just a dream, right?"

Dean reddened, thankful that Sam couldn't see; he'd know Dean was hiding something for sure. "Right," Dean sighed. "Just a dream. Go back to bed, Sammy."

Sam nodded. "You're alright?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just gunna go take a shower real quick. Gotta... get the sweat off of me. Just feel a little clammy, ya know?" Dean mumbled, mostly to himself, getting to his feet. He lumbered to the door and into the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and leaned against it, running his hands through his hair. "Fuckin Sunday..." he laughed to himself before turning the cold water on.

 

 

They were coming home today. Gabriel had promised Sam he'd be back by noon, though Sam's dad wouldn't be embarking on another job until late afternoon. Gabe promised to be showered and well rested for their second official date that night; Dean would drop Sam off at Gabriel's when John left, and this time Sam got to choose the location.

Sam was a nervous wreck. Sam wanted to make this great. He wanted to blow Gabriel away like he'd blown Sam away. Gabriel's first date local was a hard act to follow, and Sam had only been in town for about a year now. Gabriel had lived there his whole life, more or less. Gabriel knew every nook and cranny of Wichita, and the only nooks and crannies Sam knew were in the theater. Sam was so desperate he even asked Dean for help.

"Don't take him to a movie, that's lame," was all his older brother had to offer.

Out of ideas, and out of time, Sam made it to Gabriel's fully intending to either give up or wing it.

 

 

"I missed you, angel," Dean said warmly. He lay on his back on Castiel's bed, throwing a hackie sack up and catching it over and over. Cas was putting away his laundry, folding clothes and hanging things up in his closet, only half listening.

"Oh, yeah? How much?" Cas smiled playfully.

Dean chuckled. "I had a dream about you."

"A dream?"

"A dream."

"What was it about? Dare I ask..." Cas said cautiously.

Dean snorted. "Just... you finally agreed to minor bondage..."

Cas choked on his own spit. "Ha!"

"You should have seen the dream, Cas. I think you'd change your mind about it."

Cas blanched. "Keep your kinks to yourself, Dean Winchester."

"Come on," Dean said, rolling over onto his stomach to watch his boyfriend. "You don't even think about doing something... different?"

Cas hesitated, shuffling from one foot to the other. Disgruntled, he turned back to his laundry. "I don't know... Maybe."

"Well, you don't have a problem with public places so-"

"Dean!"

"I'm just saying!" Dean said defensively. "Why? Do you have a problem with it? Should we find somewhere else to-"

"Dean, please! My parents are in the next room," Cas complained.

Dean held up his hands. "Sorry, sorry," he whispered. "What if we do something you want too?" he offered wish a devious smile.

"Like what?" Cas asked with a bored expression.

"Well," Dean began, and by his tone alone, immediately Cas braced himself for something ridiculous. "It's hard to ignore how vocal you are so... and I'm not saying we have to, or even that I want to. Though I wouldn't mind it, of course. I mean-"

"Dean. You're rambling."

"Right. Sorry. I was just thinking maybe some dirty talk or something," he shrugged.

Cas thought about it. "Are you asking me to do this? Or are you volunteering yourself?"

Dean frowned. "Your kink, your call," he said. "You got all week to think about it."

"Maybe I'd be more willing if I could follow your lead."

"It sounds like you've made up your mind," Dean chuckled, a hint of excitement coloring his voice.

Cas smirked too. "So you really wanna do it? Next week?"

"Your wish is my command."


	31. Never Just Ordinary

Sam wasn't sure where they were going, but after a few random directions, he realized he was directing Gabe to the coffee shop Cas and Dean always go to, the one two towns over. It was a bit of a drive, and it was a bit more simple than Sam wanted, but he didn't know what else to do, and he knew Gabriel had a weakness for chocolate.

By some twist of fate, it just so happened that the coffee shop had live music every Sunday night. A happy accident really, though Sam led Gabe to believe that he'd planned the whole thing.

"Are you sure you planned this?" Gabe asked when they'd finally sat down, Sam with a cinnamon chai tea, Gabe with a large hot chocolate. "You didn't seem to know where you were going."

Sam shrugged. "I've only been here once. And Dean was the one who drove. It's lucky I paid attention at all, truthfully."

The live musical artists played mostly piano covers, but they were tasteful, and the music wasn't overbearingly loud. It was the perfect level; they could still hear each other, but they also had an excuse to snuggle closer to each other than would be otherwise necessary. It was getting cool outside, not cold, just cool, a nice brisk late March evening, and the coffee shop was warm inside, even with the crowd of people pushing the door open and letting a gust of cold air in every few minutes. 

Gabe mostly talked about the camping trip. Sam would have been upset about it, if Gabriel had phrased all of his stories any other way. He kept telling Sam how much better it would have been if he'd been there.

"There was this huge clearing about half a mile from our camp site, ugh, it was gorgeous. And it was so clear out there at night. Not a cloud in the sky for the whole trip, and the only light pollution for miles was our campfire. If only you were there, Sam, we could have laid in that field forever," Gabe mused, smiling from ear to ear.

Sam kissed his cheek. "You'll just have to bring me there one day," he answered. "Maybe this summer."

Gabe nodded. "We'll bring your brother and his idiot boyfriend," he joked.

Sam laughed. "I bet Cas was great in the wilderness."

Gabe rolled his eyes dramatically. "He actually stood outside of the shower for five minutes waiting for the water to warm up," Gabriel laughed. Sam laughed too. "His materialistic ignorance is adorable, honestly."

"What else did he do?"

"He spent the whole trip trying desperately not to touch any dirt. It was quite comical. He also refused to eat a marshmallow that had been on a stick so he tried to roast a marshmallow with a plastic fork."

"I feel like that's not even his phobia of germs, that's just a lack of common sense," Sam chimed in.

"He's not even here to defend himself," Gabe mused. They laughed again.

"So you never told me," Sam said softly, changing the subject.

"Told you what?"

"Why me?" Sam asked, after a long pull on his chai. "Out of everyone in the school, why me?"

Gabe shrugged. "You have the cutest butt in the school," he said seriously. Sam laughed and nudged his shoulder playfully. "Maybe even the world," Gabe added.

"Gabe," Sam hummed, resting his forehead againsr Gabriel's. Gabriel closed his eyes. "I'm serious," Sam whispered.

Gabriel looked up into Sam's soft green eyes, so close and so comforting. He shrugged, nudging Sam's head away. "I don't know. I mean, at first, when I asked Zach to put you on my quick change, it was because you were the only one in the theater I didn't really know. I mean, I'd seen you around school. I knew you were Dean Winchester's little brother, and I knew you were incredibly cute, obviously. But I wanted to get to know you, at least a little bit. But then I saw you up close, and those puppy dog eyes. Oh man, Sam, you looked like a scared puppy. And I have to admit," he said softly, picking up one of Sam's hands in both of his. "I'm a sucker for these hands of yours."

Sam chuckled, and looked down at his hand in Gabriel's. "I should have known you only liked me for my looks," Sam joked.

Gabe smiled and pecked Sam on the cheek. "I keep telling you, you have an ass that won't quit, Sam."

"You're such an idiot," Sam teased, shaking his hair out if his eyes. "So... if I hadn't stayed after with you that night, if we hadn't kissed, would we..." Sam trailed off, unsure of what he was asking.

Gabe smiled. "I would have found another way to kiss you, I'm sure," he said smugly, only half joking.

"But if we hadn't kissed. If I hadn't kissed you back, if we never got a chance to be alone like that, would we have just been friends? Or would we even have talked? Would I have just been the guy that helped you put on booty shorts?" Sam asked, hoping he didn't sound too somber.

Gabriel craned his neck to kiss Sam's forehead. "I don't know what would have happened, Sam. All I know is that we're together now, and I don't know who to thank for it. But I'm thankful for whatever ambiguous force in this universe that motivated me to go looking for your attention."

Sam's eyebrows pulled together. "Are you kidding? You've always had my attention. You always have everyone's attention. I was the invisible one, remember?"

"Well, whatever worked out a way to bridge that gap..." Gabe shook his head, mystified. "And besides, you're too big to be invisible, Winchester. How could anyone miss a 6 foot moose running around carrying set pieces like they're made of cotton balls?" Gabe joked, holding Sam's giant hand up against his own.

Sam rolled his eyes and curled his fingers over the tops of Gabriel's. "You're such a dork."

Gabriel smiled and rested a hand on Sam's neck, pulling into him, kissing him deeply. Sam's heart fluttered. He had always wondered how something as simple and ordinary as a kiss could convey love, but he knew now. The kiss was warm and gentle, the two of them meeting each other in the middle. It was a reassuring kiss, the kind of kiss you exchange just to let the other person know that you're here to stay.

 

 

They left the coffee shop hand in hand. Gabriel walked Sam to his door and kissed him goodnight. Sam was so serene he didn't even realize that Dean wasn't home yet, or that John was.


	32. April Fools Day

Sam had gotten off easy. It was easy to make excuses when your day job was going to school. The only reason Dean ever left the house was Cas, though if it were up to John he'd be out helping him work. So if he wasn't going to join the family business, he might as well just stay home. Dean had other ideas.

Sam had told his dad that he had been at Gabriel's house for a project for one of his classes. John wasn't particularly happy, but part of him was proud of how studious Sam was, so he let him off with a stern reminder not to make friends. Dean on the other hand, who had come back after curfew, with swollen lips and disheveled hair, was coerced into a yelling match. Sam took a shower to drown out the noise, but even after Sam's hands had grown pruny and it was nearing the point where he might as well just not go to sleep at all, they were still yelling downstairs. Methodically, Sam dried himself off and climbed into bed, shoving a pillow over his ear.

Light was beginning to filter in from behind the window shade when Dean finally came in. Sam had managed to fall asleep, though burst awake when Dean slammed the door, purely for dramatic effect.

"Sorry, Sammy," Dean mumbled.

"Me too," Sam answered, rolling over to look at his brother.

Dean shook his head. "Shut up, don't be. If anyone's sorry it should be me."

Sam hesitated. "Why?"

Dean sighed. "It's nothing, Sammy. Go back to bed."

"Dean-"

"It's just... I always thought you'd be the rebellious one."

"Not in this story, I guess," Sam mused. "You're the one who told me I had to learn to pick my battles."

Dean groaned and fell back onto his bed. "See, this is what I mean. You're so goddamn smart, Sam. You remember every goddamn word someone says to you and then you use it against them. Even if it was said with good intent. Like advice. Jesus - you're gunna be a lawyer someday, Sam."

Sam chuckled. "Do you really think lawyer screams rebellious?" he joked.

"No, but you have to have the guts to rebel, and you have to have the guts to swallow your pride too. Look at you, taking your punishment like a champ."

"Punishment?" Sam asked. "I was just yelled at. Unless you were just yelled at even more. But, I wasn't punished."

Dean frowned, then nodded. "Because you're smart. You lied through your teeth, didn't you?"

"Yep."

"Alright, maybe I'm not rebellious. I'm just stupid."

Sam laughed. "Goodnight, Dean."

"You gotta teach me that one day, Sam," Dean said.

"What?"

"How to pick my battles."

Sam rolled his eyes, but he had already rolled away from Dean. "You should learn how to follow your own advice first, jerk."

Dean blanched. "Whatever, bitch."

"Goodnight, Dean."

"Goodnight, Sammy."

 

 

It was April Fools Day. The most dangerous day of the year, because it was Gabriel's favorite. Though, as the tricksters boyfriend, Sam had immunity in the best possible way. He was still a victim of Gabriel's pranks, just in a different way. While everyone else had received pepper gum or a stink bomb in their locker, Sam was constantly being tricked into the exact kind of PDA he'd told Gabriel he hated. Gabriel's favorite was the one when he'd point at Sam's chest as if he had something on his shirt, then when Sam looked down, instead of booping his nose, he'd kiss him. Sam kept falling for it, even thought it was the least elaborate and by far the easiest to figure out, especially since Gabe kept doing it.

Sam didn't mind it as much as he thought he would. It was endearing, and while it brought on a lot of unwanted attention, no one seemed as annoyed by them as they did amused. It was better to be laughed at than hated, right? Besides, it was all a product of Gabriel, so Gabe was the one taking the brunt of it, not Sam.

Gabe spent all of lunch doing card tricks and spouting out strange facts everyone could have gone their entire lives without knowing. Everyone at the table was humoring Gabe; this was his favorite day after all. They let him have his moment. No one ate their lunch though, whether for fear Gabriel had done something to it, or just because Gabriel's random facts had grossed them out one way or another.

Sam was a bit upset Gabriel hadn't been flirting with him as much, until he tried to pull a disappearing coin out from behind Sam's ear, and instead pulled him in for a kiss. Sam wanted to be embarrassed, but it was hard to be disgruntled when Gabriel was smiling at him deviously. God, he was cute. It was all Sam could do not to kiss him again.

The best prank of the day came at the tail end, after the final bell. Sam was collecting his things out of his locker when Gabriel came strolling up. Normally, the last time Sam saw him all day was between 7th and 8th period, so it caught him a bit off guard, though it was a pleasant surprise. It hadn't even occurred to Sam to wonder if this had some correlation to what day it was.

"Hey Sam," Gabe hummed, standing on his tippy toes to peck Sam's cheek.

"Hey," Sam replied. "What brings you to this neck of the woods?" he asked.

Gabriel shrugged, leaning back against the lockers. "What? I can't say bye to my boyfriend? And ask him to prom?"

"I hardly think-" Sam's voice hitched. "What?" he asked, so quickly the syllables barely even caught on his breath. "What did you say?"

"Bet you didn't see this coming," Gabriel smiled. "Sam Winchester, will you go to prom with me?"

"What the hell?" Sam growled. "Is this an April Fools joke? Gabriel-"

"No, no, I'm serious. The joke is that it's so nonchalant and casual that you'd have to ask if I'm serious. Then, and only then, could I know how good I am at pranking people."

"Gabriel-"

"So what do you say? Wanna go to prom with me?"

Sam stared at him for a minute, trying to assess how he'd deal with his irrational, clever, idiotic boyfriend later.

"Well?" Gabriel pushed.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Yes, you idiot. Yes, I'll go to prom with you," he grumbled. Gabe smiled and stood on his tippy toes again to kiss Sam.

"Great," Gabe sang. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye," Sam replied and closed his locker, turning to leave. He made it all the way to the Impala, and had climbed into his seat before what had happened registered.

"So how was school today, Sammy?" Dean asked.

"Gabriel just asked me to prom," Sam said, just as nonchalantly as Gabe's promprosal.

Dean glanced back at him. "Okay..." he said, unsure. "Congrats, I guess."

Sam nodded, still a bit blind sided. "Thanks..."


	33. Prom?

"Prom?"

"Yeah!"

"Prom? Really, Cas?" Dean repeated. They were sitting out on Cas's old trampoline. The temperature had just reached over 65 degrees and they were taking advantage of it.

Cas shook his head, springing on the trampoline absentmindedly. "Why not?"

"Can't we just go to a party or something?"

Cas stopped bouncing and landed on his butt next to Dean, suddenly serious. "Dean, I will not go to a frat party in place of my senior prom." He folded his socked feet underneath him. 

"Well," Dean argued, "I already don't know how I'm gunna get Sam out of the house. How am I supposed to-"

"Sam already told your dad that Anna asked him. She's gunna pick him up and drive him to Gabriel's and everything," Cas interrupted. "Did he not tell you this?"

"No!" Dean exclaimed. "That devious little..." he murmured to himself.

"Just tell your dad you're going with someone else. Or better yet, offer to drive them and change into your suit at Gabriel's. We're all meeting there for pictures," Cas said simply, picking at fuzzies that had clung to the sleeve of Dean's shirt.

Dean sighed. "That might actually work..."

"So we're going to prom?"

"Sure, Cas. We can go to prom."

"Yay!" Castiel practically squealed.

Prom... The last prom Dean had been to was his own senior prom two years back, at a school in Oklahoma. He had only been there a few months, but he had no shortage of suitors. He went with a girl named Lisa, then had gotten drunk at a party and apparently (though he doesn't remember very well) had been making out with the captain of the high school's hockey team. In some ways Dean missed his time B.C. (Before Castiel). He had no commitment to anyone, and Sam wasn't so demanding, or old enough to have personal issues anything like Dean's then. He was free to explore his bisexuality, and what his family didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

But now he had Cas. And in some ways it was better. He had Cas, who was amazing and incredible and who made him feel grounded, and whole. He loved Castiel. He was sure of it. Cas was always exactly what Dean needed at any given moment. Sometimes when they'd touch, Dean would just feel his comforting warmth. Other times, he'd feel a wildfire. It was amazing to have someone that could make you feel so safe, then make your toes curl within the same instance. Dean's love used to be given out haphazardly, messy and needy. But now, with Cas, he loved warm and slow and smooth, he was gentle but powerful at the same time. Cas was his everything.

Dean laid back on the trampoline.

"What are you thinking about?" Cas asked.

Dean chuckled. "I'm thinking... When's the next time both your parents will be away?"

"Why?"

"Just... do you have any idea?" Dean pressed.

Cas thought about it. "I don't know... some time next week?"

Dean nodded. "And how likely would you say any of your neighbors would be to enjoy this new spring weather at any given moment?"

"I don't like where this is going..." 

"Just humor me, Cas."

"Dean, if you're thinking what I think you're thinking... the answer is-"

"Yes?"

Cas sighed. "I don't know, Dean."

"Come on," Dean said smoothly, resting his hand on Castiel's knee, tracing lazy circles on his jeans with his thumb. "This thing won't last forever. And we're leaving in a few months anyway. We never have to come back."

"And what if we break it?" Cas countered.

Dean smirked. "Wouldn't be the worst thing I'd broken."

Cas squinted. "And what else have you broken?" he challenged.

"Hearts, of course," Dean answered quickly, winking up at his boyfriend. "I broke my clavicle in T-ball when I was six. And I fractured Sam's pointer finger once. I wouldn't let him rat on me, so the poor kid couldn't write for a week."

Cas rolled his eyes. "Maybe after prom," he offered. "Just please don't fracture or break any of my bones."

"Deal."

 

 

Sam couldn't stop smiling. And he'd been thinking about Gabriel all day. He'd been thinking about prom, dressing up and taking pictures, dancing together, and the party Gabriel was hosting afterwards. Being the boyfriend of the perpetual host was so easy; Sam was always invited, no matter what. And if anything happened to go wrong, he was automatically innocent. Gabriel's parents loved Sam anyway.

They were in Gabriel's room after school, doing their own respective things, having quiet time with each other, just existing in each other's prescience. Sam was on the floor with his back against the front of the couch, his homework sprawled on his outstretched legs. Gabriel laid across the entire length of the couch, playing Sudoku on his iPad, lazily running his fingers through Sam's hair every now and then. Worst Cooks in America played on the TV in the background. They chatted idly.

Gabriel's parents had invited Sam to dinner, which he graciously accepted. Gabe's dad made some of the best food Sam had ever tasted, and he knew if he had skipped out he'd be going home to a cold pan of mac and cheese, most of which Dean would have already devoured. His brother tried, Sam gave him that much, but he was no chef. 

Over their meal of grilled salmon and steamed broccoli, Gabriel excitedly told his parents about how he'd be taking Sam to prom. Sam proceeded to blush profusely. He wasn't entirely sure how much Gabriel's parents knew of their relationship, but they were so encouraging, Sam quickly forgot they had no idea until Gabe told them just now.

"My parents really like you," Gabe said to Sam as he drove him home that night. "My mom wants to invite your whole family over for dinner."

"Oh," Sam said flatly. "That's probably not a very good idea," he admitted, somewhat embarrassed.

Gabriel nodded. "That's what I said."

"Dean might be willing to come, but if my dad even knew about it..." Sam looked down at his shoes. "It's probably best to just avoid my dad ever meeting your parents. Or you for that matter." Gabriel was quiet for a long time. "I'm sorry," Sam added.

"No," Gabe said quickly, reassuring him. "Don't be sorry. I understand. I'm sorry for even bringing it up."

Sam sighed. "It's okay, Gabe. I wanted to thank you, by the way. Or your parents, I guess. For being so supportive. I feel more at home at your house than I do my own, " he admitted, then immediately regretted saying it.

Gabriel bit his bottom lip. "Well... you're always welcome."

Sam nodded, somberly. "I'm looking forward to prom," he offered awkwardly, into the growing silence. Gabriel only laughed.


	34. Bees

"So I was thinking," Gabriel mused. They were sitting on a park bench, spending a lazy Sunday morning people watching, Gabriel sitting cross legged facing Sam. They were holding hands, their fingers intertwined, resting on Sam's thigh.

Sam gasped in mock astonishment. "Really? You were actually thinking?"

Gabriel shoved his shoulder playfully. "You're such a dork, Winchester," he grumbled.

Sam laughed. "So what were you thinking?"

"Oh, I was thinking maybe we could hang out with Dean and Cas some time. Like... a double date maybe," he suggested warily.

Sam nodded slowly. "Yeah, Dean might go for that."

"I just... I kinda wanna get to know Dean a little better. And maybe making it a double date would make it less awkward. I don't know, I'm just spit balling," he added.

"Yeah," Sam said. "That sounds like a great idea."

Gabriel nodded. He desperately wanted to chat, but Sam wasn't really in the talkative mood. Sam would be content to sit with Gabriel and watch the world go by all day. Gabriel persisted.

"Did I tell you I have an audition next week?" Gabriel asked.

"Really?" Sam asked excitedly. "For what show?"

"The Carlion Theater's production of Beauty and the Beast," he said proudly.

"That's great!" Sam exclaimed. "Who are you auditioning for?"

"The Beast, I think. Though I kind of want Lumiere. Or Lafou. I don't know. What do you think?"

Sam smiled. "I think you make a better beauty," he winked.

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Yeah, cus you're a beast, right? You gigantic moose person," he teased, kissing Sam's cheek.

Sam caught his jaw and pulled him in for a kiss. "My hand is the size of your face," he laughed, holding his hand over Gabriel's nose.

Gabriel swatted him away. "What a freak of nature," Gabe grumbled.

Sam chuckled. "So when is your audition?"

"Next Monday. 10 o'clock."

"At night?" Sam asked, exasberated.

Gabe smirked. "No, silly. In the morning. I probably just won't go to school at all."

Sam frowned. "And when do you think you'll know? By next Friday?"

"Hopefully," Gabe said. "Though it won't be much fun in the theater without you."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Is this your way of asking me to find out how to get into the crew?"

Gabriel looked away. "I mean, you don't HAVE to. No one's forcing you. But it would be really fun, don't you think?"

Sam frowned. "Yeah, I just... I don't know what I'd tell my dad." He thought about it. "I also don't think Dean would want to drive me-"

"I'll drive you," Gabe insisted. "And you'd probably get paid."

Sam pursed his lips. "Well, I guess I could just tell him I got a job. He might go for that. Alright. I'll try."

"Yay!" Gabriel sang, kissing Sam's cheek

"Alright, alright. Don't get your hopes up," Sam chuckled.

 

"Dean, I'm no good at this," Cas complained. "Let's just go back to public places. I've gotten used to that." They had changed it up this Sunday, as promised. The two of them were tangled up on Cas's bed, clothes discarded on his hardwood floor. 

Dean sat back on his heels and huffed. "Cas, the whole point of kinks is to change things up, to get out of your comfort zone. It's supposed to make things exciting."

"Sounds like something an old married couple on the verge of devorce resorts to," Cas said flatly.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Well, we're certainly fighting like an old married couple so what's the difference?"

Cas sat forward, crossing his legs, his bed creaking beneath him. "Dean, you keep insisting things of me and you won't even listen to what I have to say."

Dean bit his lip. He didn't meet Cas's gaze. "You're right, Cas. I'm sorry," he decided. "Go ahead. I'm all ears."

Cas sighed. "I think... I think we may be traveling in different directions on this one."

"Meaning?" Dean asked.

"Meaning, it took me a while to get comfortable with you, and it took you no time at all. Inversely, it took you a while to want to escape that comfort zone, and I began outside of it, so... yeah," Cas finished awkwardly.

"So you're saying we want different things?" Dean asked gently. Cas nodded. "Well, obviously! That's the problem! Listen, Cas, I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable. I don't want to do anything with you unless you want to do it too. I've been trying to make it easier for you, which clearly has had the opposite effect. But you're right. I haven't been listening. You're the only one that knows how to make you comfortable," Dean offered.

Cas pursed his lips. "I feel comfortable when I'm with you," he said shyly. "We just have to find a way for that to correlate with-"

"We'll start slow," Dean offered, cutting him off. He rested a hand on Cas's knee. "Baby steps. And I think the first step would be a safe word," he mused. "What will it be? You pick."

"How about... bees."

"Bees?"

"I don't know," Cas shrugged. "Just a suggestion."

"You really want bees?"

"Sure."

"Alright. You say bees, and everything stops. And I mean everything," Dean assured Cas.

Cas nodded. "Good," he said. "I feel better already."

"Excellent." Dean smiled at his boyfriend, leaning forward on his hands to kiss him, wrapping his arms around his back, supporting him. Cas came forward to meet him, then melted backwards under Dean. Cas back right into the headboard, smacking his head against the wooden surface. The two of them popped apart, Dean concerned, Cas down for the count.

"Ugh," Cas groaned, reach for his head. "Bees," he mumbled, rubbing the back of his head.

Dean chuckled, sitting back again. He shook his head. "Your such an idiot."

"You did this," Cas accused him, pointing a finger at Dean's bare chest.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Come on, let's get you away from anything that can hurt you."

Cas slumped down to his pillow in retaliation, fighting Dean's attempts to pull him up. "No," Cas said. "You come here," he smiled, pulling Dean down to him instead. Dean complied, falling into the bed next to Cas, Cas wrapping an arm around his neck. "You tried," Cas said lazily, running his fingers through Dean's hair. "But we're done for today, alright?"

"Are you okay, Cas?" Dean asked quietly.

Cas shook his head and closed his eyes. "Bees."


	35. Anxiety and Good News

Sam shook his leg nervously. He had clamored into the backseat of the Impala when they reached Cas's house. He couldn't control his nerves as they waited for Castiel.

"Cool it with the leg, will ya, Sammy?" Dean snapped, watching Sam in the rear view mirror.

Sam huffed and rested a first against his knee, willing his leg to stop bouncing. "Sorry," he mumbled, distracted. Once Cas got into the car, they'd head to Gabriel's house to pick him up too. Then they'd be off to dinner, then a movie. Sam was a nervous wreck; he wasn't sure how Gabriel and dean would react to each other. He hoped well, seeing as they both got along so well with Cas and himself. Sam forced himself to take a deep breath and calm down. It would only be an hour until they could sit quietly in the movie-filled silence of a theater. It was the cheesiest double date ever, but Gabriel seemed insistent. Sam just wanted to survive.

It was a strange feeling sitting in Sam's stomach, something half way between anxiety and relief. He had never had a relationship before, not even almost. And he had certainly never been so open about romantic feelings. He supposed it was a bit because Dean made it look so easy, and for Sam, well, he wasn't so care free. He had just ended up in this relationship with Gabriel somehow. He didn't care to think about the details, because overthinking came easy to him. And it would only make him want to push Gabriel away.

Up until now, Sam's relationship with Gabe had seemed safe, and hidden. Because Dean had almost no insight to it. Everyone in school knew, of course. But that didn't matter to Sam as much as Dean knowing did. He felt exposed, talking about Gabriel to Dean. He felt even more exposed when Gabriel climbed into the Impala next to him and planted a kiss on his cheek, Dean watching them in the mirror. Sam didn't know how to describe it, but it made him anxious for sure. He wished his romantic life and his family life could be totally separated forever. But Gabriel had been so persistent, and Dean had expressed a great deal of interest in meeting Gabriel as well. Sam thought he might throw up.

All of what Gabriel had reasoned about Cas making it less tense, a double date locking them into some sort of social construct that would protect Sam from embarrassment, it was all bullshit. Or, maybe it was doing what Gabe had predicted. It just didn't do anything to ease Sam's anxiety. He kept biting at his bottom lip.

"You okay there, champ?" Gabriel asked quietly. Dean had turned down his music when Cas got into the car, but Sam heard it loud and intruding, and he heard Gabriel as if he was talking to him from the outside of a fishbowl.

Sam took another labored breath before nodding, a bit too eagerly. "Aces," he said, looking away quickly. It started to annoy him, that he was so bothered by this. Whatever made Sam so uncomfortable being in the same room with the two people he's normally most comfortable with separately, it was very hard to shake.

 

 

They got to the restaurant after what felt like a million years. They were given a booth next to a window. Sam was shoved to the seat next to the window, Gabriel trapping him in beside him. Sam began to feel even more claustrophobic than before. Dean laid his arm across the back of his side of the booth. Cas scooted closer to him.

Sam barely touched his food. He barely even tuned into the conversation as well. Only catching glimpses. It was mostly Dean and Gabe talking anyway. About Sam, more often than not.

"So you guys met in the musical?" Dean asked, dipping a fry in barbecue sauce.

Gabriel nodded. "That's right."

"And you were Danny Zuko, weren't you? No wonder I didn't recognize you, you don't have a leather jacket on, " Dean joked. Sam winced.

Gabriel smirked and glanced down at what he was wearing. Just a simple button down shirt. "Yeah, I don't normally wear leather," Gabe said awkwardly.

Cas took it upon himself to break the uncomfortable silence. "So, Gabe, you're waiting to hear from an audition, aren't you?"

Gabriel's face lit up. "Oh, yeah! They were supposed to call me around 3 this afternoon, but they're a little late," he said, glancing at his phone. It was about 5 o'clock.

"What audition?" Dean asked.

"A production of Beauty and the Beast," Gabe answered simply. "It's nothing too impressive."

"Don't be silly," Cas cut in. "Of course it's impressive."

Sam hadn't even realized it, but he'd been slurping at his empty drink for a while now. Everyone looked at him at the break in the conversation. "Hey," Dean said to Sam. "Sammy," Dean growled, pulling Sam's drink out of his hand. Sam shook himself. "You okay, Sam?"

Sam sat up and cleared his throat. "What? Yeah, why wouldn't I be okay." He glanced at Gabriel, who returned his look with one of worry.

Dean cleared his throat as well. "Well, we better go catch that movie."

 

 

Sam felt better once they got to the movie theater. He made sure that he sat as far from Dean as possible. They were seeing a movie had never heard of, and he wasn't particularly interested in the story line either, but he was glad to have the distraction. One of the actors looked eerily similar to a girl in his algebra class, and Sam kept trying to catch glimpses of her without really realizing it. He saw Dean out his arm around Cas out of the corner of his eyes and was thankful Gabriel hadn't done so as well. At this point, if he hadn't done it already, it was unlikely he ever would. Sam made a note to talk to him about all this later.

About half way through the movie, Gabriel's phone vibrated. Gabe glanced at the screen of it, and decided it was to important to ignore. "Come on," Gabriel whispered as he got up, pulling Sam with him.

Sam frowned. "What-"

"Shh!" Gabe hissed. "Just come on!"

Sam glanced back at Dean and Cas. Dean gave him a confused and angry look. Sam only shrugged.

Gabriel pulled Sam out into the empty theater hallway. He answered the phone. "Hello? Yes," he said excitedly. "Yes. Yes!" he said, increasingly getting more excited. "Yes, thank you so much. Yeah. I won't. Thank you so much! Alright. Goodbye. Thanks again. Bye."

Gabe hung up the phone and took a deep breath. "Well?" Sam asked, not entirely sure what had happened.

"You're looking at the Carlion Theater's youngest ever Lumiere," Gabriel smiled.

Sam had totally forgot about the audition. His face lit up. "That's great!" he exclaimed, rushing forward to hug Gabe. Sam lifted him into the air. They shared a brief kiss, then slipped back into the theater before anyone got too suspicious.


	36. Comfortably Uncomfortable

Dean didn't say anything. He just tensed as Sam and Gabriel left the theater, and made a strange, low noise in his throat that he'd never made before. It was deep a predatory. Cas put a hand on his shoulder and pulled him back into his seat. "They're fine," Cas promised, rubbing circles into Dean's shoulder with his thumb. "Don't you trust Sam?" he whispered.

Dean wrinkled his nose, looking down into their shared bucket of popcorn, half empty. "Yes," he grumbled. "But I don't trust Gabriel."

Cas rolled his eyes. "We've had this argument a million times, so I'm gunna stop you right there." Cas took a handful of popcorn and began munching on it. Dean didn't relax. "Listen, Gabriel got a phone call. It was probably the theater company calling to tell him he got the part. He probably just wanted Sam to be there for the moment. It's kind of a big deal," Cas reasoned.

"Yeah, I guess," Dean said. "Ya know, I thought this would be easy. And it was, until I actually met Gabriel. Now I'm worrying about Sam like some sort of... middle aged soccer mom," he sneered, without humor.

Cas chuckled anyway. "I think it's cute," he decided. "You're protective of your little brother."

Dean sighed. "Yeah, well, I think it's annoying."

"Why? That you have feelings? You're perfectly fine sharing your feelings with me, but when they're towards your brother it's annoying?"

"No," Dean hissed. "It's just... I don't know, it's weird that he's his own person. Like, I watched this kid grow up. I saw him take his first steps. He wears all my old hand-me-downs. I saw him within the first few moments of his birth, ya know? It's just weird that he's... so independent now."

Cas kissed Dean's cheek and laid his head on Dean's shoulder. "I know," was all he said. Anything else he could have said in that moment, Dean already knew. Dean knew Sam needed to grow up. He knew that he needed to let him. And he knew that at some point, his opinion didn't matter to Sam. 

 

 

In the following week, Gabriel had started full time at the theater. Sam had attempted to join the crew, though it was much more professional than he was used to. He'd have been way over his head, not to mention, because he was a minor, he'd need a legal guardian's signature allowing him to participate, and receive pay. Dean didn't fit into that category; he was neither legally responsible for Sam, nor a technical guardian, even though he'd basically raised Sam himself anyway. In all honesty, Sam was a bit happy to sit this one out. He'd do the summer program at the high school the next town over with Gabriel. He would exceed expectations there. He and Gabriel would be a musical theater power couple.

Gabe had rehearsal every day after school, save Fridays and Sundays. It worked perfectly into his school schedule, and even better with prom. It was pure dumb luck that tech day happened to fall on the Saturday after the Friday of prom, so Gabe was free to enjoy his three day weekend with Sam however he wished.

Sam missed hanging out with Gabriel during the week, and in that respect he regretted not pushing himself to be a part of the production. But he didn't think it would have been worth it. He still had his Fridays with Gabriel, when they'd put on some random Food Network show in the background and just exist together until dinner was ready. It gave them both a reason to get out of bed on Mondays. Seeing each other was the best motivation either of them could have.

It was Friday, the next Friday, after their double date. They were sitting out in the pool area in Gabriel's backyard, their feet swishing in the pool. Gabriel's parents had just opened the pool, the weather warming up significantly. It was still too cold to swim, the water, not the air. They sat in the sun, trying to feel it's warmth after a long, cold winter, holding hands, their jeans rolled up to their knees.

"I like Dean," Gabe decided, breaking the silence, which had formerly been made of the pool filter whirring and the growl of a lawn mower, the first few whiffs of freshly cut grass in the air.

"Yeah?" Sam said. "I think he liked you, too."

"Really?" Gabriel asked. "He seemed very... I don't know, cold."

Sam nodded. "He can be like that. He's not very personable at times."

Gabriel considered this. "You seemed nervous," he said lightly. He was humoring Sam. The poor kid was a wreck that night, and they all knew it. Gabriel knew Sam must have been embarrassed, during the event and by his behavior. He didn't want to mention it directly unless Sam did first.

Sam laughed nervously. "How could you tell?" he joked, the tips of his ears turning red.

Gabriel smiled wanly. "I think it would have gone better if you felt comfortable."

"That makes two of us," Sam agreed. "Although, I don't know how we would have achieved that."

Gabriel held his breath for a moment, squeezing Sam's palm. He let out a pent up breath. "Are you embarrassed to be with me?" he asked.

Sam flinched. "What? No! I just... it's complicated, okay?" he said pointedly, looking away.

Gabriel frowned, his eyebrows pulling together. "Then what was it?"

Sam shook his head. He had wanted to talk about this before, but he was changing his mind. He started to feel the familiar tug of anxiety on his gut. He never wanted to feel that way around Gabriel, lest it start to become normal. Nerves were the one thing Sam had trouble controlling. "It's nothing, alright? I just... I've never been in a relationship before, and Dean isn't exactly easy to share with. I knew he'd react badly, or at least he wouldn't be quiet about it. He knew we were together, but... he hadn't known any details. I can take teasing from everyone else; they don't know us, not the way Dean knows me. But Dean... it's too personal. I can't take his teasing. He thinks it helps, makes the situation lighter. But it doesn't, not to me. That's just the way my mind works. I don't know, I can't really help it. So, yeah I guess I am embarrassed," Sam said all in one breath. He paused to fill his lungs, the deflated completely upon the release. "Not because we're dating. Because Dean knows we're dating."

Gabriel had been chewing the inside of his cheek. He was looking at Sam with soft eyes, concern, but Sam hadn't looked at him at all through his entire speech. "I understand," he said quietly. He was lying. Gabriel had no idea how Sam felt. He'd never been anywhere but the center of attention. Embarrassment was not an emotion Gabriel knew well, if at all. He didn't understand what Sam was going through, but he wanted to. "I'm sorry I pushed you," he mumbled.

Sam look at him finally then, and shook his head, eyes concerned as well. "It's not your fault, Gabe. None of this is your fault." He fell quiet for a while, watching the light play on the pool water.

Gabriel touched Sam's knee. "You shouldn't ever apologize for how you feel, Sam." Sam only nodded, looking down at their hands, still intertwined. He accepted Gabriel's embrace when he wrapped his arms around him. All he could do was exist.


	37. Doubt

"What are you thinking about?" Dean asked, tossing the hackie sack back to Cas. Neither of them knew how to actually hackie sack, so they tossed it back and forth, sitting cross legged in Cas's backyard.

Cas sniffed and squinted. "Prom," he admitted. "Only a few more days..."

"Ten," Dean said, a bit too aggressively. Cas kept badgering him about corsages and whatnot. Cas was already so stressed with school work that Dean had told him he'd take care of it. Big mistake. Cas had surpassed asking every day. Now, he asked almost every hour. "Give it a rest, Cas. It's being handled."

Cas shook his head. "I can do it if you don't want to-"

"Do you want to?" Dean asserted.

Cas faltered. "Well... I don't really have time..."

"Then please get off my back about it, okay? I can do it. Trust me. And it's not like you didn't pick out every detail anyway. I received very clear instructions. All I have to do is buy."

Sighing, Cas caught the hackie sack and laid back on the grass. Dean picked himself up and laid down next to Cas, slipping his hand into Cas's fist. "I'm sorry," Cas said, looking at Dean.

Dean didn't return his gaze. He just watched the clouds. It was a pretty clear day, the sun was out, and the sky was almost as blue as Cas's eyes.

Almost.

When Dean looked into Cas's eyes he had to blink a few times. No matter how comfortable and familiar he got with Castiel, as soon as he looked into those eyes, he remembered what it was like at the beginning, to be crushing on him, to want so badly to be known by him. Dean had always prided himself with being steady and supportive, but Cas could melt him right down to the core. He was the only person Dean ever let in, except maybe Sam, though intimate moments with Sam left as soon as they came.

"You sure you don't want blue?" Dean asked quietly, raising his other hand to cup Cas's face. 

Cas squinted at him and wrinkled his nose. "We agreed on green," he said, almost hurt. Cas was envisioning the soft, spring green of Dean's eyes, though he doubted they'd be able to find the exact shade, or that his description was good enough. It was hard to communicate it to Dean without flat out telling him his inspiration. He blushed.

Dean blinked and frowned. He licked his lips, and caught himself watching Cas's mouth. "Right," he said awkwardly. "Sorry."

"No," Cas said. "We can do blue if you want. Or maybe... we could mix them. Like, teal or turquoise or something," he suggested.

Dean dropped his hand to his chest. "Whatever you want, angel," he said quietly, kissing Cas's forehead.

Dean's cheeks were flushed under his freckles from the sun, his honey skin glowing. Cas nuzzled closer to him. "You're the best, you know that?" Cas said.

Dean smiled. Cas could hear it when he spoke. "I know."

 

 

Prom was dangerously close. Sam hadn't allowed himself to think about it. He had to focus on his school work. Meanwhile, Gabriel was focusing on his real work at the theater. He would talk to Sam in an exaggerated French accent until Sam asked him to stop, sometimes begging him. Gabriel would have had no problem letting himself get excited about prom, if he had time to.

Sam was there when Gabriel decided to tell his parents they were going to prom. They were eating dinner, like every Friday night, and Gabriel's mother had nearly screamed she was so happy for them.

Sam's father didn't have quite the same reaction. Sam told John that Anna had asked him, and Dean had vouched for him, offering to drive them on the spot. Sam hadn't known what Dean was planning when he said it, but he had a hunch it had to do with Castiel. They kept each other's secrets. John wasn't happy about either of them being out all night, but he was a firm believer in chivalry, and he gave Sam money for a tux, and Dean money for gas. Dean would use his gas money for a tux, though John didn't have to know that.

The days went by fast. There were only two days left before prom when Sam finally decided to ask Dean about it. Sam had finally decided to let himself think about prom, and get excited. He was about to fall asleep when he remembered that Dean had offered to drive him.

"Hey, Dean?" Sam hissed into the darkening room, light from the streetlights outside filtering in the window around the blinds.

Dean cleared his throat and Sam heard him sit up a bit. "Yeah, Sammy?"

"You're going to prom with Cas, right?"

Dean frowned. "Why else would I have offered to drive you?"

Sam nodded. "Just checking. I wanted to make sure I wasn't actually being a burden."

"You're never a burden, Sam," Dean said defensively. "I'd have driven you anyway."

Sam nodded again, though he knew Dean couldn't see. "Thanks, Dean."

"No problem, Sammy."

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

 

Sam dreamed of Gabriel and their quiet place in the costume room. He'd never be there with Gabriel again, so he was glad to reminisce, even if he wasn't entirely aware that it was a dream, and not a memory. He woke in the middle of the night after one of them had said something about Gabriel's ex boyfriend in the dream. Sam wondered why they broke up. He wondered how similar he really was to this guy, or if Gabriel had shared that space in the costume room with this other boy as well. He wondered if that's how Gabriel knew about it. Sam was afraid that, whatever happened between Gabriel and this other boy, maybe it would happen between them as well. Gabriel would graduate, and Sam would be left there. No, Gabriel wouldn't just leave him. He was going to the community college. He got a job.

Sam wondered if the other boy had taken Gabriel to prom.


	38. Pre-Prom

There was a cheesy chick flick moment, as there always is. Sam didn't think it would hit him so hard when he saw Gabriel, but it washed over him like a tidal wave, overtaking him quickly and violently, warm and complete. He felt it rattle his bones. Gabriel made his way down the grand staircase in his front foyer gracefully, one hand lightly guided by the banister. He looked incredible, a black tux with a red bow tie, a simple black lace-like pattern on his dress shirt. Sam matched him, wearing the same black tux, a matching red detailed dress shirt and a black bow tie. Sam gasped when he saw Gabe, and tried to hide his awestruck gaze, but failed. Gabriel's mother was excitingly taking pictures through the entirety of the moment.

Sam, Dean, Anna, and Cas were the first ones there. Sam wasn't sure how many people Gabriel had invited, but it felt like only the two of them right then.

Sam met Gabe at the bottom of the staircase and the two of them shared a kiss, Gabriel's mom shoving her camera in their faces. Gabriel covered the lens with his hand and pushed Sam away lightly. "Jesus, Mom. Cool it with the paparazzi," he complained.

His mom slinked away. "Sorry, sorry," she mumbled.

Sam smiled at Gabe, who was still standing on the bottom step, and was still significantly shorter than Sam. "You look incredible," Sam said quietly. Gabe smiled too, pulling Sam into him again for another kiss. 

"Uck, get a room," Dean grumbled, coming back into the foyer in his tux, a shy Castiel clinging to his sleeve.

Sam opened his mouth to retaliate, but Anna beat him to it. "Oh, let them live," she said dismissively, waving Sam's brother off. Sam was surprised; he didn't think Anna and Dean knew each other all that well, but regardless, he made a note to thank Anna for it later.

It was still strange seeing each other with their respective dates. The older Sam and Dean got, the smaller their age gap seemed to shrink. They were four years apart, but they'd never been more similar.

"I've never seen you from this height before," Gabriel mused, resting his hands on Sam's shoulders. "I'm kind of glad," he joked. Sam shook his head and rolled his eyes.

More guests arrived. Everyone flocked around Gabe's dining room table, where his parents had put out snacks and drinks. It was so loud, Sam could barely hear himself think, but then, it would be louder when they were actually at prom. But Gabriel was never out of earshot, and most of the time never even out of an arm's reach.

Inversely, it was never explicitely apparent to Sam that Dean was there. He caught glimpses of his brother, reaching for a handful of chips, posing for a picture, pulling Cas along behind him.

Dean saw just about as much of Sam, though more than he'd expected. Sam was more vibrant than Dean had ever seen him. Dean had never known his little brother to be an extrovert, or even welcome to idle conversation. He was never a party goer, that was for sure. But he was different with Gabriel. He was laughing and joking with people he hadn't known for more than a month or two. And the smile never left Sam's face, not as long as Gabriel was within his line of view. It would have seemed out of place to Dean, to see his brother so happy and lively, if Sam didn't look so genuine. Gabriel hadn't changed Sam's demeanor, he was still Sam, he only just brought out the best in him.

Dean was skeptical about Gabe before then, even after spending an entire afternoon with the guy, on top of Cas's constant reassurance. But he wasn't skeptical anymore. He knew now, watching the two of them, that Gabriel only meant well toward Sam. And most importantly, that Sam was really, truly happy.

"Dean?" Cas asked, tugging his boyfriend's sleeve. "Dean, did you hear me?"

"Huh?" Dean mumbled, stuffing a mini mozerella stick into his mouth.

Cas rolled his eyes. "There's going to be food there, ya know," he said.

Dean shrugged. "I'm pregaming."

Cas snaked his arm through Dean's and pried him away from the table. "Everyone's heading over soon. So we might as well head out anyway. Are you ready?"

They stopped near the door, caught in the background of a few pictures. Dean glanced back into the dining room, where Gabriel was sitting on Sam's lap, his arm around Sam, rubbing circles on the back of his neck with hus thumb. He wished he was driving them, too. And he wished Sam had opted out of the after party. He had stayed over at Gabriel's before, and Dean had known about it then, too. But Dean would be there this time.

"They're fine," Cas promised, putting both hands on Dean's cheeks, turning his face back to his soft blue eyes. Cas straightened Dean's tie. Dean squirmed. "Tonight is about us, okay? No territorial little brother stuff. Got it?"

"Yeah," Dean agreed, sharing a kiss with Cas. "No worrying. Just you and me."

"Good," Cas smiled. "Let's get out of here. I can barely hear myself think."

 

 

Sam wanted to ask about his wonderings after his dream a few nights prior, but he was also afraid he didn't actually want to know the answer. And it never seemed like the right time. They hadn't been alone since that moment in the foyer, and even then they weren't actually alone. Sam thought it was probably safe to assume the other boy had taken Gabriel to prom. Gabriel always seemed to have random pearls of knowledge no one else had, which Sam could only assume was passed on to him from his upperclassman ex, although, obnoxious know-it-all was kind of Gabriel's default personality to anyone who didn't know him all that well anyway.

Gabriel slipped his hand into Sam's after they had parked the Kia. Sam forgot all about his predecessor.


	39. Prom

Dean was so silly sometimes. He had ridiculous freckles dotting his soft skin, gathering in clusters and constellations around his nose and his joints - his shoulders, elbows, knees, hips, ankles, wrists, the slight curves of his neck. He had absurdly long bow legs, strong and endless. He had the goofiest, dopiest grin and Cas always had to work for it, but when he received one of Dean's smiles, his stomach flipped. He had crazy deep green eyes, like a forest after cool rain. He smelled like rain, too. Dean was so idiotically, preposterously, nonsensically, pointlessly adorable and Cas often wondered who actually fell for who. Dean always claimed Cas had saved him, but there were times Cas was sure he was the one to have fallen somehow.

It was everything about Dean that Cas had fallen for. Not just the perfections, or the quirks. Cas loved his stupid freckles and his stupid smooth lips all the same. Whatever it was about Dean, even if Cas hadn't noticed it before, it would only ever love the boy more.

"Do you think they'll have pie?" Dean asked, turning the Impala into a parking spot.

Cas chuckled. "I doubt it," he said, climbing out of the car. "They usually only really have finger food for dessert."

Dean's hopeful smile faded. "Can we get some pie afterwards?"

"Where are we going to get pie at 11 o'clock at night?"

Dean shrugged. "The diner. Any diner actually. I saw about four on our way here."

Cas rolled his eyes and slipped his hand into Dean's. "Sure. But first, prom."

 

 

Gabriel smelled so distinctly like Gabriel. Like cinnamon and costumes and heat. It took all Sam had not to drop his face to Gabriel's hair and breathe him in. The smell of him mingled so well with the smell of Sam. They were two very distinct smells that, had they directly mixed, it wouldn't be so enjoyable. But Sam's smell, of damp fire wood after a rain shower and the faint hint of whatever "manly deodorant" Dean had assaulted their shared room with that day, danced so delicately off of Gabriel's that they were never smelling them at the same time, just separate, comforting whiffs. Gabriel rested his head against Sam's chest. It took all Sam had not to lower his face into Gabriel's hair and breathe him in.

Sam was almost happy when the slow songs began later in the night. He much preferred slow dancing to the kind of dancing Gabriel liked, fast and erratic. This was much more Sam's speed, and he complied easily when Gabriel pulled him onto the dance floor.

"You're bad at this," Gabriel mused, after their feet clipped each other a few times. It was only Sam who would misstep.

Sam blushed. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"No," Gabriel smiled. "It's cute." He rocked up on his tippy toes to kiss Sam's cheek. Sam caught his face and kissed the corner of his mouth, then tilted his chin up even more to meet Gabriel's lips. Gabriel smiled against his lips. "Ya know, you've got terrible hand-eye coordination. But for such a big clumsy moose person, you're an excellent kisser."

"I learned from the best," Sam hummed. He wondered where Gabriel had learned how to kiss, then immediately regretted it. He changed the subject quickly. "So who's coming tonight?"

Gabriel bit his lip. "Everyone who came for pictures. Maybe a few more. Does it matter?"

Sam shrugged. "Just wondering."

Gabriel reached up to pet Sam's face. "God, you're so freaking cute, Winchester," he grumbled. 

"No, I'm not," Sam insisted, swatting his hand away playfully.

"Jesus Christ, you don't even know it," Gabriel said, mocking shock.

Sam laughed. "Know what?"

Gabriel guffawed, exasperated. "You walk around like this big innocent, charming tree person." Sam laughed. He went on, "And- and you don't even know how hot you are. How are any of us supposed to stand a goddamn chance?"

Sam smiled, amused. "And how hot am I?"

"Incredibly hot," Gabriel assured him, squishing him closer to him. "I almost passed out when I saw you earlier. If you get any cuter you might kill me, Sam. I'm serious. On my death certificate, they'll write the cause of death will be your ass in those damn dress pants, I swear to God."

Sam rolled his eyes and mostly ignored him. "You're the one everyone's always looking at, Gabe. I just make it easier for them to find you in a crowd."

Gabe laughed his sing-song laugh. "Yeah, I do light up a room, don't I?"

Sam laughed, too. "You're such an idiot."

"Yes, but I'm your idiot."

"Lucky me," Sam teased sarcastically.

"Oh, shut up," Gabriel whined. "You love me."

"I do love you," Sam agreed.

Gabriel pulled Sam's face down to his height and kissed him gingerly. "And I love you."

 

 

"Switch seats with me," Cas said to Dean, who was only half paying attention.

"Why?" Dean asked, finally focusing on Castiel. He fidgeted with his green and blue corsage.

"Just... please?" Cas asked, pleading. Dean sighed and switched seats with him.

"Why did we do that?"

"So that you'd look at me when I talk to you," Cas answered simply. "You wouldn't stop watching Sam and Gabriel. I don't think you took a single breath in the past three minutes."

Dean nodded. "I believe it. " He looked up to see Cas watching him expectantly, a bit angrily. "I'm sorry, Cas. I'm just... I don't know. I'm worried. I wish I wasn't, but I am. I don't know why. I know they're fine. But for some reason... I can't let go of my baby brother. I'm sorry. This is about us. What were you saying?"

Cas sighed. "I don't really feel like talking anymore."

Dean heaved a deep breath and denied himself release. "Cas, I'm sorry, okay? Please don't do this."

"Do what?" Cas tested.

"Get mad at me!" Dean said, a bit too forcefully.

Cas scoffed. "Now you're putting words in my mouth." Dean balled his fist under the table and closed his eyes. Anything else he could have said would have been used against him. He bit the inside of his cheek and watched Cas watching him. "I'll be back," Cas decided, shoving out from the table.

"Where are you going?" Dean called after him.

"You don't need to know!" Cas bit back.

Dean sighed and raked his fingers through his hair. "You never make things easy, do you, Cas?" he mumbled to himself. He rose from his chair and turned to follow Cas through the crowd.


	40. Post-Prom

Cas was always doing this. He wasn't ever really angry. He just wanted to make Dean work for him, or something to that extent. Dean wasn't ever entirely sure with him. He would only just kiss Cas's wound until it was better.

Dean hated to admit it, but the best part of Cas's petty grudges was the hate sex they'd have. Well, normally it was make up sex. But Dean had put the idea of dirty talk into Cas's mind and something must have enticed him to try it out.

Cas was grumpy the whole way back to Gabriel's, and ignored Dean for a few hours after they'd gotten there. But once he'd had a few drinks, he was pulling Dean back to where he'd parked the Impala around the corner.

 

 

Sam dropped Gabriel down on his bed, not even bothering to turn the light on. The party blared on just beyond Gabriel's door, the threat of being caught at any moment in the close but muffled voices on the other side of the wall. Gabriel scrambled to get his bearings as Sam blindly climbed on top of him, pushing Gabe's back down against the bed. Gabriel moaned; Sam was heavy on top of him, but the pressure was comforting. Sam came tumbling over top of him, kissing his neck, breathing him in. "You smell like sweat," Sam observed.

Gabriel snorted. "Probably because I'm sweating."

"Mmm," Sam hummed, kissing Gabe's neck again, tasting the salt on his warm skin. He let his hands wander.

Gabriel shoved lightly against Sam's chest, prompting him to sit up. Sam obeyed, sitting back, dark eyes watching Gabriel in the dim light. "Since when are you the assertive one?"

Sam chuckled, grabbing hold of Gabe's hips and pulling him towards him again. "Alcohol tends to," Sam said, between kisses, "lower one's inhibitions."

"And how much," Gabriel answered, his speech broken up by Sam's kisses too, "alcohol would you... say you've had?"

Sam took a tighter hold of Gabriel, kissing him deeply. "Enough to matter," he whispered.

"Man, you've had a lot of Fireball," Gabriel mumbled as he wriggled in Sam's grip, sliding his arms out of his shirt sleeves. Sam curled his fingers under Gabe's shirt and pulled it up over his head. Sam worked at unbuttoning his own shirt, all the while kissing Gabriel. Gabriel pushed Sam's shirt away from him. Sam broke away from Gabe, yanking at Gabe's belt. Gabriel gripped the belt buckle over Sam's fumbling hands, undoing it easily and effortlessly. Gabe worked it around his hips, pulling at the belt until it sprang free. Sam smiled, laying kisses on Gabe's soft belly as he undid his jeans and pulled down the zipper. Gabriel arched his back as Sam removed his pants.

Sam came crashing back over Gabriel like a tidal wave, warm and powerful and overwhelming. Sam took hold of Gabriel's arms, curling his large hands around Gabe's wrists and pinning them to the bed above Gabe's head, leaning with all of his weight. Gabriel grunted in appreciation as Sam sucked at the skin under his jaw. "I like when you're dominant," Gabriel mused as Sam traced kisses down his exposed torso, still gripping his wrists, tighter now. Gabriel tried to sit up, but Sam muscled him down, slamming him back into the mattress. Sam stared at him hungrily for half a second, their eyes locking. "I should get you drunk more often," Gabriel suggested, wide-eyed.

Sam slid back right off the end of the bed, his knees coming down hard on the hardwood flooring. Gabriel tore his arms from Sam's grip and leaned forward again, catching Sam's face. Sam was calm this time, welcoming Gabriel's gentle embrace. "You didn't even feel that, did you, sweetheart?" Gabriel asked quietly.

Sam looked up at him from under his eyelashes, a goofy smile stretched across his face. His eyes were dark and dangerous. "I'll feel it in the morning," he joked, pushing Gabriel back down. He pulled Gabriel towards him, so that Gabe's legs hung over the edge of the bed at his knees, coming up over Gabe's lap, mouthing over the soft curves of Gabe's hipbones. Gabriel hummed low in his throat, running his lose fingers through Sam's hair as Sam nearly tore his boxers off of him in one clean, violent tug. "Sorry," Sam mumbled, still slurring his words, the stretched elastic falling to the floor behind him.

Gabriel chuckled. "That's okay, baby," he said lovingly, pushing Sam's hair away from his face.

"Let me make it up to you," Sam mulled, smiling to himself before taking Gabriel into his mouth.

 

 

"Are we okay now?" Dean asked quietly, holding a panting Cas against his chest, his heart still racing underneath. The question was loaded, but Dean figured he should ask.

Cas swallowed and nodded. "We're okay," he mumbled.

"I really am sorry, Cas."

"I know you are." He was so out of breath he barely even said it. "I'm sorry, too."

Dean looked up and noticed their hand prints in the steamed back window of the car. He wiped them away, then promptly fell asleep with Castiel in his arms.

 

 

Sam was laying back against the headboard, half sitting up. Gabriel was perched in his lap, straddling him. Gabe kept trying to roll his hips, but Sam held him in place on top of him. Sam stroked Gabriel lazily until Gabriel's eyes were rolling and his head lulled backward, his mouth dropping open as he moaned Sam's name (something like "Sam... fucking... Winchester...") loud and unyielding. The muscles in his abdomen fluttered. Sam chuckled.

Gabriel climbed off of Sam and landed with a soft thump on the mattress next to him. He scrambled to sit up beside his boyfriend. Sam closed his eyes and placed a large, warm hand on Gabriel's thigh. Gabriel rubbed his eyes. "I have to go back out there," he complained.

"No," Sam protested as Gabe pushed his hand away and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

"And you, mister, are cut off for tonight," Gabriel said, pointing a finger at Sam's chest. "My entire body smells like Fireball." Sam watched raw pink claw marks on Gabe's back move as he bent to gather his clothes off the floor. He blushed. He hadn't meant to leave so much damage.

"I'm sorry," Sam said weakly. He only half meant it.

"No you're not," Gabriel accused. Sam thought he must have misunderstood; he was sorry about clawing Gabriel's back to shreds, not drinking as much as he had. He let it slide. "I'll be back," Gabriel hummed, suddenly next to Sam, running his fingers through Sam's messy mane, straightening it out. He opened the drawer of his nightstand and pulled out a pair of handcuffs. "And when I get back," Gabe said, gathering Sam's wrists in his hands. "We're gunna do this again. You're gunna stay right here. And we're gunna do it correctly next time."

Gabriel handcuffed Sam to the headboard. "Where'd you get these?" Sam asked, pulling at the handcuffs.

Gabriel paused. "Uh... remember that guy everyone was telling you about at AppleBees? That I used to-"

"Alright, I've heard enough," Sam decided.

Gabriel winced. "You said you weren't jealous."

"I'm not," Sam bit. "But if you go on, I might be."

Gabriel leaned forward so that his mouth was on Sam's ear. Sam suddenly felt very awake. "Well, you're the one using the handcuffs now, aren't you?"

Sam considered this, and grunted in agreement.

Gabriel tilted Sam's head so he was looking up at him, and ran his thumb over Sam's bottom lip. Sam's lips parted as he accepted the intrusion, sucking on Gabriel's thumb. Gabriel chuckled, smiling down at Sam. "You're mine now, Sam Winchester. Whether you like it or not."

Sam liked it.


	41. A Bit of An Interlude

Sam dreamt of the theater. He would often dream of his time there with Gabriel, reliving falling in love with him, only to wake with an empty feeling in his heart, knowing he couldn't share his next two years in the theater with Gabriel. But this dream was different. Sam dreamt of a future with Gabriel, in theaters that looked exactly like his, but that he knew to be different. He woke with Gabriel tucked close to his chest. 

"Good morning, beautiful," Gabriel hummed, when he felt Sam shift.

Sam kissed the top of Gabriel's head. "Good morning," he agreed. "What time is it?"

"Almost 10 o'clock," Gabriel said, craning his neck to see the clock. "We should get up." He untangled himself from Sam's arms and sat up. Sam's arms ached as he moved them to sit up himself. As soon as he had oriented himself, his head began pounding.

Sam rubbed his eyes. "Ugh," he groaned.

"Party a little to hard last night, champ?" Gabriel laughed, rubbing Sam's bare back between his shoulder blades.

Sam shrugged him off. "You would know," he mumbled.

"Come on," Gabriel said, pulling a sweatshirt on. "Let's get you some coffee."

Yawning, Sam followed suit, retrieving his clothes from the floor. His bruised knees protested. They filed out into the open basement and were greeted by the few guests that had slept over, including Dean and Cas, who were whispering to each other wrapped in a blanket on the couch while Balthazar and Michael played Mario Kart on Gabriel's Game Cube. Sam blinked into the bright room, rubbing at his eyes again.

"Good morning," Gabriel yawned. "Anyone for omelets?"

Balthazar and Michael paused their game to follow Gabriel upstairs for food. Everyone else took their time, Anna, Ruby, Lilith, a few other boys Sam had only really met in passing, then Dean, Cas, and Sam. "Sleep well?" Dean said disapprovingly as he passed Sam.

"Don't listen to him. He's no better anyway," Cas assured Sam, strolling towards the stairs.

Sam gave the back of Cas's head an uncomfortable dimpled frown and nodded. "I appreciate the sentiment, Cas, but I don't need to know details."

 

 

Gabriel made everyone an omelette made to order. Sam didn't like coffee much unless he felt like he needed it, and he definitely felt like it this morning. His head was pounding and his stomach hurt. He clutched his mug and watched Gabriel serve everyone else before he served himself.

Sam, Dean, Cas, and Anna left with everyone else after breakfast. Sam was grateful to have the next two days off to recover; if he had to do anything more than rest he thought he might throw up. He felt heavy, and his eyelids felt heavier. When they returned home, Sam showered then tumbled right into bed. Dean woke him when dinner was ready.

"Thanks," Sam said, when Dean placed a bowl of Kraft mac and cheese in front of him.

"So," Dean answered through a mouthful of mac and cheese. "You had a fun night last night, huh?"

Sam remembered what Cas had told him and pushed it away. It was too early to start fighting fire with fire. Maybe Dean's jokes were harmless. Sam took a deep breath. "Didn't you?" he asked innocently, directing the conversation back to his brother.

Dean swallowed and took a sip of water. "Sure."

"Is that it?"

Dean shrugged. "It was just peachy, Sam."

"Care to elaborate?"

"I'd rather not."

Sam nodded. He cleared his throat. They didn't talk for a while.

Dean sniffled. "How about you? How was your night?"

Sam forced a smile. "Just lovely," Sam said, humoring him.

"Is that it?" Dean said mockingly. "Care to elaborate?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "I'd rather not," he bit.

Dean puckered his lips and sighed. "Well, that's great, Sam. Really good conversation."

"How do you expect me to share with you if you wave me off in the same exact way?" Sam protested. "You're such a hypocrite."

Biting his lip, Dean put his fork down. "Let's just forget it then."

"Gladly."

 

 

Sam and Dean spent the rest of the weekend in awkward silence. Dean would leave as often as he could without feeling as if he was abandoning Sam. Sam spent most of the time reading and sleeping; he barely even noticed that Dean was gone at times. When Dean was home, they mostly avoided each other.

Sam spent the rest of the week quite lonely. Gabe was back to full time at the theater, and Dean hadn't been willing to talk since their father got home on Sunday night from a job. When Sam saw Gabriel in lunch, he only ever talked about the theater, which Sam didn't mind so much, but he hadn't had a personal or engaging conversation with anyone since prom. He felt sleepy and distant.

Gabriel apologized for neglecting to chat with him all week, but an apology paled in comparison to actually talking. Sam only told him to make up for it when they could properly see each other on Friday.

Their Friday was quiet and long. They sat together on the couch in Gabe's basement, watching Chopped. Their conversation was slow and tired. Gabriel was wiped out from rehearsing all week, Sam was feeling dissociated. 

"Summer will be better," Gabriel promised. "We still have two months, but that's not too long, right?"

Sam smiled. "It's pretty long," he countered.

"Come on, it's not so bad. It's a bit on an interlude, sure, but we have our Friday's. And we see each other in school."

"Barely."

"But it's better than nothing, isn't it?"

Sam shrugged. He was quiet for a while. "Summer will be better," he agreed.

"You okay?" Gabriel asked, taking Sam's hand.

Sam swallowed and nodded. "Yeah. Just... I've just been missing you."

Gabriel leaned forward and kissed Sam gently. "I've missed you, too," he admitted. "It's not the same without you back stage."

"Don't go getting any ideas about finding any other freakishly tall stage hands to seduce," Sam joked. It came across more like suspicion.

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "That isn't as usual an occurrence as you seem to think it is. Besides, I've got one pretty good freak of nature already. I don't need another. You tall people are so high maintenance."

Sam scoffed. "And why is that?"

"I was told you drank nearly an entire bottle of Fireball by yourself on prom night. I paid for all that stuff out of pocket. Jesus Christ, Sam. I'm not made of money," Gabriel said.

Sam laughed. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"You're not sorry," Gabriel asserted, fake pouting. He laughed with Sam. "There's those dimples of yours," he hummed, reaching for Sam's face. "God, you're adorable."

"Shut up, no I'm not."

"You are. And I won't stop until you admit it."

"Then you have a long time to wait."


	42. Dissociation

Nothing exciting happened in May. Sam lived in a strange limbo; he felt like he was kind of just existing. His school work wasn't enough to keep him busy, and when Gabriel wasn't busy he was distracted and distant. Sam wanted to blame his dissociation on Dean ignoring him, but after about a week, Dean stopped being awkward and started pretending like nothing had happened. Instead of making Sam feel normal, it just made him feel weirder. It was like they'd fixed whatever the problem was over night. Though he wasn't really surprised - Dean tended to be hot and cold on things he didn't know how to deal with.

Sam wanted to talk about it again. He wanted to talk to Dean. He wanted to tell him how he had felt awkward too, on their doubt date. And he wanted to see if their feelings were mutual, or just a variation of each other. Dean was clearly acting like a territorial big brother, and Sam felt like an anxious mess. He told himself before that he didn't care what Dean thought of his relationship with Gabe, but he was wrong. He did care. He didn't want to. But he did.

And he couldn't work out why Dean might not approve. He seemed fine with it before. Hell, Sam even asked him some very personal questions (and told him some very personal secrets about his relationship) and now all of a sudden Dean is shutting him out.

Sam decided he needed more information before he just came right out and started talking to Dean. He was never good at beating around the bush, but Dean was excellent at small talk.

"Hey! Cas!" Sam called in the hallway after lunch, running to catch up with the senior.

Cas turned and slowed his strides until Sam caught up with him. He greeted Sam with a smile. "Hey, Sam. What's up?"

Sam cleared his throat. "I, uh, sorry I'm not really good at leading up to stuff but, has Dean said anything about me lately? He's just been avoiding me, kind of, and I was wondering if you knew why?" he said in a rush.

Cas frowned. "Well I know he was really weirded out about you and Gabriel, but he told me he was over it." He sniffled. "Maybe he still feels weird about it."

Sam sighed, his shoulders drooping. He hadn't realized how tense he was waiting for Cas's answer. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

Cas gave him a sad smile. "I can talk to him again if you want."

"No, no," Sam said quickly. "It's okay. Thank you, though. I'll see you around, Cas."

"Bye, Sam. Good luck!" he called as Sam practically ran away.

 

Sam didn't go to class right away. He wasn't entirely sure why, but he wandered the halls aimlessly. He hadn't realized how much time had gone by, probably not much, but when he rounded the corner into the senior hallway, someone stopped him. He didn't register who it was at first, but when Gabriel took hold of his arms, he focused on him.

"Sam? Are you alright? Why aren't you in class?" Gabe asked, searching Sam's eyes. Sam hadn't noticed how hard he was shaking until he felt Gabriel steady and unmoving against him. He took a deep breath and shook his head. He did his best to make out the details of Gabriel's face. "Come on," Gabriel said quietly, pulling him into an empty classroom.

Sam felt cold all over. His legs felt like they were asleep, the tingly kind, and he couldn't keep his hands from shaking. It was like one of those weird fevers where you feel freezing but your body is actually 10 degrees warmer than it should be. Gabriel sat Sam down and took his face into his hands.

"Hey," Gabe said quietly. "Sam, look at me." Sam bit his lip and looked into Gabe's eyes. It took all he had to focus in on him. "What's going on?"

When Sam spoke, his voice shook. "I'm fine," he stuttered. 

Gabriel blinked. "Okay, clearly you aren't fine."

"I - I'm sorry," Sam said weakly. He closed his eyes. He tried to focus on his breathing. This had happened before, quite a few years ago. He had repressed what exactly had happened to trigger it, but he begged Dean to leave the light on when they went to bed, and of course, Dean refused. Sam couldn't sleep he was so anxious, and when he crawled into Dean's bed, Dean had pushed him away and told him to stop being a baby. So Sam had sat up in bed all night, trying to control his heart. This was the same thing. The only way he knew to describe it was "light-chestedness," like being light-headed, but in your chest. It felt like someone had filled his heart with helium and popped it, and it was tearing around his rib cage, destroying anything that got in its way. He couldn't breathe, it felt as if someone had their hands around his neck, his eyes never stopped moving. He wanted to crawl under a desk and cry until it was over. "I'm sorry," he whispered again, his eyes still closed tight.

Gabriel let go of him. "It's alright," he whispered. He didn't know what else to say. "Don't apologize."

"Will you take me home, Gabriel?" Sam asked, or he thought he had. He still wasn't sure if his voice was shaking, or even working.

Gabriel's eyebrows pull together. "You still have three more periods to go, Sam."

"Please?" he asked again, practically begging. Sam knew he was a mess, but he refused to let himself cry. He didn't want to ask Gabriel for help, but the only other person he would trust would be Cas, and Dean was Cas's ride anyway.

Gabriel sighed and got to his feet. "Alright, Sam. Come on. We have to go sign out. Are you okay to walk?"

Sam only nodded.

"Can I take you to my house? I don't want to leave you alone like this."

Sam nodded again.

Gabriel pulled Sam to his feet. "I have chocolate at home," Gabe said, trying to distract Sam. "We can watch Worst Cooks in America. And you can come to rehearsal with me tonight if you want. Chip's mom sits in the green room and knits the whole time, so I'm sure the director wouldn't mind if you sat in on it."

"Okay," was all Sam could manage.


	43. Aftermath

Gabriel wrapped a blanket around Sam's shoulders. "I'll be right back," he promised, kissing Sam's forehead after he'd turned the TV on.

He returned a few minutes later with a bag of old Halloween candy and a hot cup of cinnamon apple tea, Sam's favorite. Gabriel sat down next to Sam, who was still shaking. "Are you alright?" Gabriel asked as he brushed Sam's hair off of his forehead, concern coloring his voice. "Do you need anything else?"

"N-no," Sam said. "Thank you." He waited until the tea was cooler to start sipping at it, and even then he only really wanted it because it warmed him. After he had set down his drink, he laid down with his head in Gabriel's lap. Gabriel stroked his hair while Sam shook, and tried to reclaim control of his heart beat. He tried to focus on Gabriel's hands in his hair, or on the TV, but calming down this time was proving more difficult than he'd expected.

After Sam had calmed down considerably, and the only thing shaking was his fingers, he sat up a bit. Gabriel offered him a Reese's. Sam took it gratefully. "Do you wanna talk about it?" Gabriel asked tenatively.

"I guess," Sam said quietly. "I don't really know what happened."

"I believe that was what they call an panic attack," Gabriel said. "Last year, there was a girl in the ensemble that had panic attacks before every show. We would enter the stage in the first number together, so I would always have to go find her. She was always biting her nails and shaking. I asked her once why she did musical if she was so anxious in front of people. She laughed and said she did it because she loved it. And as long as she wasn't a lead she was fine. I won't pretend I understand what that's like. But I won't pretend I don't want to help you, either. I just don't really know how."

"What did the girl tell you?" Sam asked quietly.

"She said if I tried to help her it would probably get worse. She also said different things work for different people."

"I used to double numbers," Sam admitted. "When I was younger, I read this book called Ender's Game. And the main character, Ender... when he'd feel himself losing control, he'd double numbers. 1, 2, 4, 8, 16, 32... But it got too easy. I'd remember the numbers, and I could get well into the billions before it became difficult again. It stopped distracting me, and it kept taking longer for me to calm down. So I stopped doing it. And things got better for a while. But..." He let his voice trail off.

"Do you know what triggered it?" Gabe asked.

Sam hesitated. "Uh... well Dean's kind of been ignoring me lately."

"Is it because of me?" Gabriel asked quickly.

Sam bit his lip. "Well, us together. But... yeah, I guess so."

Gabriel swallowed hard. "We'll figure it out, okay? I promise. You're too important to me." Sam only nodded.

 

 

"Where's Sam?" Dean asked when Cas climbed into the Impala.

Cas buckled his seat belt. "I don't know. Last I saw him, he was asking about you," Cas said, almost pointedly.

Dean ignored him. "Is he still in the school? Cas, where is he?" he asked urgently.

"Jesus- I don't know, Dean. Calm down. He's probably with Gabriel."

Dean took a deep breath. "I swear to god, if that kid isn't home soon-"

"You'll ignore him?" Cas shot. "He told me you've been ignoring him, is that true?"

Dean sighed. "Alright, I admit I've been a bit distant."

"Not just with Sam. You've been distant with me, too."

"Alright-"

"Dean, Sam is making himself sick over this. You need to stow your shit and- Where are we going?" Cas asked as Dean tore away from the school, in the opposite direction as usual.

"Thought we might pay Gabriel a visit."

"What for?" Cas said angrily.

"Relax. I just wanna see if Sam is there," Dean said, waving him off.

Cas rolled his eyes. "You can't just ignore Sam then barge in on his personal life, as if you still have the right to care."

"But I do care," Dean protested.

"Then show him! Because Sam thinks you're mad at him." Dean pulled into Gabriel's driveway. "If you go in there-" Dean ignored him, clamboring out of the Impala and marching up to the front step. Cas hustled to keep up with him. Dean rang the doorbell. "This is a bad idea," Cas hissed. Gabriel answered the door, looking calm and confused.

"Hey, Cas and Dean. What an unexpected surprise..." Gabe said awkwardly.

"Hi. Is my brother here?" Dean asked curtly.

Gabriel hesitated, assessing Dean's anger, Cas's reluctance. He thought better than to fight Sam's battles for him "He's in the basement," Gabe said, moving to let them in.

Dean barged right in, heading straight for the basement. Cas stopped in the doorway next to Gabriel. "I'm really sorry about him," he said.

"It's fine," Gabriel said. "I just... I don't think Sam's ready for this."

Cas winced when Dean slammed the basement door behind him. "Ready or not, here he comes," Cas mumbled as they hurried to follow Dean into the basement.

"Why aren't you in school?" Dean was yelling as the two of them trotted down the stairs.

Sam looked like a hurt puppy, trying to keep himself from crying. "I'm sorry, I-"

"Oh, don't give me that look!" Dean shouted. "You can't just run off like this! You know what dad will do when he finds out you cut class?"

"Dean, stop-" Cas said, pulling at Dean's arm.

"Stay out of this, Cas!" Dean reeled on Sam again. He grabbed at Sam's arm and hoisted him to his feet. "We're going home!"

"Leave him alone!" Cas and Gabriel retaliated in unison, Cas tugging at Dean, Gabe stepping between Dean and Sam. Gabe felt protective anger building in him. He shouldn't have let them in.

"Sam-" Dean growled when they had managed to break the two of them apart.

"Dean, leave him alone," Cas warned again.

"He's my brother," Dean insisted. "Let's go, Sam."

"You've done enough for your brother," Gabriel countered, still standing protectively in front of Sam.

"Sam can speak for himself-"

"Not if you don't let him!" Gabriel practically yelled.

"Gabriel-" Sam started to say, then stopped himself.

Gabriel went on. "What do you care, Dean? If you really cared you'd have been there when your brother had a panic attack! Not like it wasn't your fault anyway!"

"Gabriel," Sam said, in warning this time. Gabriel let Sam pull him out of the way.

"Is this true, Sammy?" Dean said weakly.

"Yes," Sam said evenly. "I wanted to talk to you, but you never gave me the opportunity."

Dean was quiet for a while. "Yeah, well, nothing personal, Sammy. Apparently I push everyone out," he said, glancing sideways at Cas. "Come home after dinner. Or don't. I guess I don't care," he said, watching Gabriel over Sam's shoulder. "Come on, Cas," Dean said, defeated heading back up the stairs.

Cas didn't move, awestruck. Dean slammed the door again on his way out. No one moved for a while. "I'm really sorry," Cas said. "I'm really, really sorry about this."

"It's not your fault, Cas," Sam said quickly.

"I better go before he leaves me here," Cas said awkwardly.


	44. Forgiveness

Sam went to rehearsal with Gabriel that night. He brought a blanket and a pillow and spent most of the 5 hour rehearsal curled up on the couch in Gabriel's dressing room, attempting to sleep. Gabriel shared a dressing room with three other people; the actors who played Coggsworth, Lafou, and Maurice. Maurice, who did not name himself, offered Sam hot chocolate at some point, which Sam sipped gratefully, even though he didn't feel much like chocolate at the moment.

Gabriel returned to Sam whenever he could, but it was hard. They were rehearsing Be Our Guest intensively today, so Gabriel was extremely busy. The actor who played Lafou, who, Sam had learned, was named Metatron, was about as pleasant to be around as his character. He wasn't in the dressing room the entire time, but when he was, Sam felt uneasy, and took frequent excursions to the green room to munch on the various kinds of snacks.

One girl, the girl who played Babette, who's name was Jess, was particularly worried about Sam when Gabriel explained the rough details of why he had tagged along. Sam hadn't expected to like her as much as he did - mostly because she was playing the part of Gabriel's love interest - but she was the only actor Sam didn't mind being subjected to talk to, other than Gabriel of course.

It was weird being more immersed in the cast than in the crew. But it made Sam feel better, being in a theater again. It was familiar, even though it wasn't the theater he had called his home.

They had taken five, and Sam had run into Jess in the green room. Sam was in the process of piling a paper plate high with soft pretzels when Jess stopped him to chat. "Gabriel really seems to care about you," she observed.

Sam shuffled awkwardly. There was nothing awkward about this girl. She was a musical theater actor after all; actors don't have the capacity to feel shame, or even experience awkwardness, however awkward the other person may be, even if they were so awkward that they made other people feel awkward too. And their high levels of charm and charisma tend to bring out the awkwardness in those who lack it. Sam shook himself. "Uh, yeah, I guess he does," he said quickly, running a hand through his hair nervously.

"He's a great guy," she said absently, picking at a sugar cookie. "You're lucky to have him."

I'm glad someone thinks so, Sam thought. He bit back his snarky comment. It's pointed bitterness would mean nothing to her. "Yeah, yeah. I guess I was just in the right place at the right time..." he managed.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

Sam reddened. "Uh, no. I mean, we both were. We were lucky to have found each other."

Jess nodded slowly. "Not for nothing, but... he hasn't stopped talking about you since rehearsal started," she told him, trying to hold his gaze. Sam blushed deeper and looked away. Someone on stage called for Babette to assume her position for the beginning of Be Our Guest from the speaker in the corner. "Well," Jess said, pointing to the disembodied voice. "That's my cue."

"Bye," Sam said as she left. He hurried from the green room with his leaning tower of soft pretzels.

 

 

"Cas, am I being unreasonable?" Dean practically shouted, pacing in front of Cas, who sat on the couch in his living room.

"Yes."

"He shouldn't have run off like that. He should have told someone."

"Dean-"

"What, Cas? What is so important?"

Cas sighed. "Do you want to sit down and actually listen to me? Your tantrum is gunna cost you more than your relationship with your brother if you don't listen to reason. That's your only warning."

Dean sat obediently, and motioned for Cas to go on.

Cas didn't expect to get so far. He cleared his throat, unable to think of something to say. "Um... Well, I think we've already talked about this enough times. I can't figure out what you're doing or why, but... it's destructive, Dean. You're destroying Sam, and me, and yourself. What's so... unbearable that you have to take it out on everyone?"

Dean looked away. "I just... I feel like I'm losing control, Cas."

"So your natural response is to lash out? What do you think you're losing control of?"

"It's stupid..." Dean said. "I was never in control of any of this anyway. It just felt like I was. When nothing was changing..."

"When Sam was a kid," Castiel concluded.

Dean still wouldn't look at him. "I'm sorry, Cas. I've been an asshole."

"It's okay," Cas said quietly. "But I'm not the only one you've been an asshole to."

"I know," Dean whispered.

"You need to apologize."

"I know."

"And you need to let Sam say everything he needs to say. Otherwise, you aren't apologizing for him. You're just apologizing to make yourself feel better."

Dean dropped his head into his hands. "I know."

Cas scooted closer to him and pulled him upright. He kissed Dean's cheek lovingly. "You aren't a bad person, Dean. You mean well. You just don't know how to communicate that."

Dean looked at Cas, finally. "No, maybe I am a bad person. Good things can happen to bad people. Good things can consistently happen to bad people, no matter how many times they fuck it up. I don't deserve you, or Sam."

"That's not true," Cas insisted, cupping Dean's cheek. "I believe you are a good person, Dean Winchester. Everyone has good and bad in them. But the bad stuff is never the only thing that dictates who you are. You messed up a few times. I believe in forgiveness. I'm sure Sam does too."

Dean smiled a sad smile. "One can only hope."

Cas smiled too, and kissed Dean gently. "You're forgetting that opposites attract," Cas whispered, after he felt Dean's tense shoulders relax.

"What do you mean by that?" Dean asked.

Cas chuckled and shook his head. "Nothing. Just... you're not a very forgiving person, are you?"

Dean only rolled his eyes.


	45. Work It Out

"Has Sam been in school?" Dean asked as Cas got in the car on Friday, the day after his fight with Sam. Sam hadn't come home that night. Dean was worried sick.

Cas sighed. "Dean, cool it with-"

"He hasn't been home, Cas," Dean interrupted him. Cas looked at Dean, surprised. "Not since... not since I yelled at him. I just wanted to know if he was okay." Dean clutched the steering wheel, unable to look at Cas, or ever start the car it seemed. Normally they could beat the school buses, but Dean hadn't moved, so they streaked by the window, loud and yellow and cumbersome. 

Cas was quiet for a while. "He's been in school," he confirmed. Cas touched Dean's arm. "I thought he had been home too. I'm sorry, Dean. You should have told me."

"I thought you'd get mad," Dean admitted, looking at Cas finally. "Like you just did."

"I'm sorry," Cas said again. "I can talk to him, if you want. I mean, not now obviously. But the next time I see him."

"I want to think he'll come home on his own," Dean said. "But I'm not sure anymore. I dug myself quiet a grave, haven't I?"

Cas chuckled. "I'm sure he's fine, Dean. I'm sure he'll come home. I think... he just needs a little time. It seems like time was good for you, too. But you should let him come to you."

Dean nodded. "I really screwed up, Cas."

"It's okay," Cas said gently. "I'm sure it'll all work out."

"God, I hope you're right."

 

 

Sam had stayed over at Gabriel's the past two nights. It was now Saturday morning, and Gabriel had rehearsal. Gabriel woke Sam at noon, two hours before he needed to be at the theater. Gabriel loved having Sam along with him, but he hoped Sam would let him drive him home today. He hated seeing Sam like this, and he thought maybe if Sam faced Dean things would get better.

When Gabriel turned the light on, Sam pulled the covers over his head and groaned. Gabriel sat down on the bed next to him and peeled the covers down so he could look at Sam. Sam pouted up at him and squinted into the light.

Gabriel clicked his tongue. "Don't give me that look."

Sam intensified his puppy eyes.

Gabriel brushed Sam's hair off of his forehead and stroked his cheek with his thumb. "Sam, I know you're working through something right now. I know you're healing, and I want to be here for you. You know you're always welcome in my house. But I think this is something you need to face in order to work it out. Also, you've been wearing the same clothes for two days now."

Sam closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. "I'm afraid I won't know what to say."

"You'll say what you mean. You'll know what's right in the moment," Gabriel assured him. "But you need to face Dean."

"I know," he said quietly. "But that's not all I'm afraid of."

Gabriel ran his fingers through Sam's hair again. "What else, sweetheart?"

Sam caught Gabriel's hand and held it against his heart. Sam's hands were freezing. "I'm afraid I'll have another panic attack. I-I'm afraid I won't be able to control it. And I won't be able to get away. I'll just be stranded there, with Dean, and my anxiety."

Gabriel's heart broke. He didn't know what to say. He'd never seen his boyfriend so small and vulnerable. He wanted to hide Sam away from the world forever so that nothing could ever hurt him again. He kissed Sam's forehead. "I'm only a phone call away-" he started to say, but his voice died in his throat. Sam had started crying, and wiping furiously at his eyes. "Oh, Sam," Gabriel whispered, fighting tears himself. He kissed Sam gently and cupped his face. "I'm so sorry, Sam."

Sam sniffled. "It's not your fault," he breathed.

"I won't ever let anything bad happen to you," Gabriel promised, still holding Sam's face. "I swear to God, I won't let anything..." His voice died in his throat. He was crying now too. It had overwhelmed Gabriel, the things he felt for Sam. He was so incredibly in love with this boy. He couldn't conceptualize how much he loved Sam, so all he knew to do was to cry. Gabe couldn't contain his emotions, how strongly he felt about Sam, so it spilled over his eyes and ran down all his face and his neck. And it got to the point where he wasn't sure if it was Sam or himself that was shaking, but it didn't matter. There were too many things to say and all were too confusing to fathom into sentences. There were too many things to feel that Gabriel couldn't control any one emotion, they all ran wild within him. He had never felt so strongly about any one person in his entire life, and he wasn't even the one hurting. Gabriel wasn't sure how he knew it, or how it could even be possible, but the only thing he was absolutely certain of right then was that as long as Sam was unhappy, he would be unhappy too. Not for the same reasons Sam was unhappy, but because Sam was unhappy. And he meant what he had said. As long as Gabriel lived, he wouldn't let anything bad happen to Sam, if he could help it.

 

 

Sam returned home reluctantly, and with the bitter knowledge that he wouldn't be able to reach Gabriel for another 5 hours, for whatever reason. Dean wasn't there when Sam got there. Sam didn't expect him to be. Normally Dean and Cas spent all weekend together, though they usually didn't go out until later on Saturday's. He didn't question it; he just thanked the few solitary moments he would have to regain his bearings. Sam definitely didn't expect to see Dean so soon, as the Impala appeared in the driveway not a half hour after he'd returned home.

Dean hadn't expected Sam to be home either when he arrived. Sam had rushed to the door when Dean came in, anxiety building in his gut. He forced it away and focused on what he needed to say.

Sam had reached the front door right as Dean had closed it.

"I need to talk to you," they said in unison.


	46. Confrontation

Sam hoped it would be easy. He hoped Dean would run to him and they'd hug and there would be this moment of understanding. And all the things they needed to say would just be silently understood. But of course, it wasn't that easy. Dean never made things easy.

Dean pulled up short. "You first," he said, motioning for Sam to start.

"Uh..." Sam shuffled awkwardly. "Maybe we should sit?"

Dean blinked. "Uh... yeah, sure." They moved to the living room and sank into the couch. Sam sat on the edge of his seat, unable to keep his leg from shaking. "Go ahead," Dean offered.

Sam hadn't expected this. He fumbled for words. "Um... well... I think you should go first," he said, stalling. Truthfully, Sam still wasn't entirely sure what this was about. It was Dean's beef, not his. He thought it best that Dean said whatever he was going to say, then Sam could work off of it. Sam had thought maybe his trepidation towards Dean was just an over reaction, but Gabriel assured him it wasn't. Sam kept reminding himself that something was wrong, and he needed to make Dean figure it out.

Dean sighed and sat up. "Alright, well first, I have to say sorry. I've been a jerk. It doesn't matter what I think. I was just... I was... I'm just a jerk, okay?"

Sam suppressed a smile. "You have been a jerk," he agreed.

"I wasn't thinking about you, Sammy. I was just thinking about myself. I forgot you're a human too," he said.

"That's okay," Sam said. "Sometimes I forget you're a human, too. You push me away so much, it's easy to forget you have feelings."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Alright, well, do you have anything to add?"

"Yes," Sam said, with more confidence than he thought he ever could have. "Was all of this about me and Gabriel?"

Dean hesitated. "Yeah."

"Are you uncomfortable with me dating him?" Gabriel was right. This was coming easy now.

"No," Dean said quickly. "I mean, yes. I mean... I mean, I was uncomfortable with you dating in general. I wasn't used to it. And you and Gabriel are getting really serious really quickly. How long have you even been together? Not that long." Dean stopped himself. "Sorry, I guess what I mean is just... You've never been in a relationship before. I'm not used to you dating. I'm used to you being my dorky little brother."

Sam chuckled. "Well, I'm still your dorky little brother. I just have a boyfriend now."

Dean shook his head. "I'll get used to it, I swear."

"Is it really that weird to you?" Sam asked. Dean only nodded. "Ya know, when you started dating I was weirded out, too," Sam admitted.

"Really?"

"Yeah. It was different, though. Because I didn't really understand how intimate relationships are. And I only ever knew about any of your relationships because you mentioned them in passing. We were never on the subject for long," Sam mused. "I remember thinking I'd never be in a relationship like that. I didn't want that for myself. I didn't even recently, until I met Gabriel. And that all happened in a rush."

"I guess it surprised both of us, huh?"

Sam smirked. "You, more so. But yeah. I know what you mean."

"I think it didn't bother me beforehand because I didn't realize how serious you were," Dean said. "It was just such a sudden thing... I didn't think it would last. And then I saw the two of you together and... the way Gabriel looks at you. I knew it was real. And I think that's what scared me. I hadn't ever thought about how other people think of you, if that makes sense."

"It does," Sam said. "I understand. When you and Cas first started dating I didn't think it would last either. Maybe if you had still been in school, or if you had a better record of maintaining relationships." Dean gave Sam a glare. He went on. "But you're right. About the looking at you thing. You look at Cas like he's... an angel or something," Sam supplied. "And I've seen Cas with other people. He's a very... not awkward person. Not uncomfortable. I don't know what word I'm looking for. I guess what I mean is, he seems so comfortable around you. He's different around you, but in a good way. It's like he can actually be himself."

Dean blushed, the tips of his ears turning pink. He rubbed the back of the neck. "I'm really sorry all this happened, Sam."

"It's alright," Sam said. "I'm sorry, too."

"Don't apologize. This is on me."

"No," Sam cut in. "I'm sorry it happened, too."

Dean winced. "That's fair," he said. "I deserve guilt."

"That, I'm not sorry about."

"Did you really have a panic attack?" Dean asked suddenly. 

Sam flinched. He wasn't sure what to say. He hesitated for a long time, Dean watching him expectantly. Finally, he cleared his throat. "Uh, yeah. That wasn't my finest hour..." He was embarrassed now. Sam couldn't put his finger on why it should embarrass him, but he was blushing, and hoping that Dean didn't press him for more information.

"I'm sorry about that, too," Dean said, cutting the silence. "It shouldn't have taken something like that to make me realize how much of a dick I was. Next time- well hopefully there isn't a next time - but, next time, we'll talk first."

"Deal," Sam said.

"Alright," Dean sighed, getting to his feet. "Can we be done now?"

"Sure."

"Great. Good talk," he said awkwardly, shuffling towards the door of the kitchen. "Oh, hey," he said, popping his head back into the living room. "Can you tell Cas about this? He's been attacking me about it for... ever..."

Sam sighed exasperatedly. "Sure..."

"Make it sound good, okay? Not cheesy. Wait, no. Make it cheesy. But believable-"

"Would you like me to write you a novel while I'm at it? Maybe-"

Dean barked a laugh. "No, thanks. The receipts of this conversation should be enough."

Sam rolled his eyes and headed for the stairs, desperate to pass out for a few hours. "The things I do for you," he mumbled as he climbed the stairs.


	47. PDA and Forever

Sam Winchester was a daydream. He was impossibly tall and lanky, though not awkward; his height worked for him. He had lean muscles and such a relaxed air about his movements, his mannerisms, his language, so comfortable and graceful anf effortless in everything he did. His scruffy brown hair fell delicately and effortlessly over his forehead, auburn highlights radiating in the sun, and sometimes it would fall into his eyes, and he'd crinkle his nose when he shook it away. His eyes were a color too impossible to describe. Every time Gabriel looked into them they were a different shade of brown or green or grey he found so difficult to place that he stopped trying, he simply accepted them as an ambiguous hazel, and fell deeply in love with each new hue as they came. His voice was like honey, and his body even more so, warm and smooth and rich. And the worst part was, no matter how crazy every individual aspect of Sam Winchester drove Gabriel, the most irresistable part of Sam was his ever enduring will to deny that.

Sometimes there were these moments where Gabriel would look at Sam and the light would just halo around him and Gabriel would have to remind himself to keep breathing because how could he possibly be the one this beautiful boy was kissing? How could he be so lucky? These were the moments Gabriel looked forward to, but still never expected somehow.

"You're so beautiful," Gabriel mused at lunch one day, raking Sam's hair away from his face with his fingers.

Sam, who had been mid gulp of water, snorted, and dribbled water down his chin. He frantically wiped at his mouth with his shirt sleeve, everyone watching him now, amused. "Still think so?" Sam joked.

When Sam looked at him, Gabriel had heart eyes. He was laughing at Sam, who was still struggling to regain his bearings. But there was something warm about his smile. Sam felt fluff bubble up in his stomach, and had the urge to bury his face in Gabriel's chest or squeeze him until he popped. To compensate, he balled up the ends of his sleeves and covered his face.

"You adorable idiot," Gabriel laughed. He pulled at Sam's arm to expose his cheek, where he planted a loving kiss. Everyone cooed at them. Sam blushed.

"Alright, alright," Sam complained, shooing Gabriel away. "You know I don't like PDA," he mumbled. Gabriel scootched closer to him, bumping against Sam's shoulder until Sam hooked an arm around his waist. Gabriel craned his neck to kiss Sam's cheek again. "Gabriel..." Sam protested.

Gabriel ignored him and went on chatting to the group.

 

 

Gabriel had gotten into the habit of napping behore rehearsal. And he had gotten into the habit of kidnapping Sam right after school, only to drop him at his house later, before Gabriel had to be at the theater.

They had gotten into the habit of napping together, actually. Sometimes they'd sleep in Gabriel's bed, but other times they slept on his couch in the basement, and once even the couch upstairs. Sometimes they'd spoon, and sometimes they'd sleep curling in on each other, Gabriel's warm breath on Sam's neck. And sometimes one of them would fall asleep while watching Food Network reruns and the other would be their pillow, limbs falling asleep in their unwillingness to move the other, lest they wake them.

Sam was the pillow tonight, Gabriel swimming in and out of consciousness while Cupcake Wars played on the TV. Sam was lounging out, Gabriel's head on his stomach, his legs all curled up so that he fit on one cushion, besides his head on Sam's belly. Sam ran his hand lazily down Gabriel's spine, brushing over his butt, and then along his side, and up his neck into his hair. When Gabriel would stir, he'd grab at Sam's hand, holding it to his chest, though it was a stretch, so without the complete concentration that consciousness allowed, he'd let Sam go quickly. And Sam would go back to his pattern; spine, butt, side, neck, head, repeat. The rhythm of it made Gabriel even sleepier.

"I bet you give incredible massages," Gabriel mumbled, craning his neck to look at Sam.

Sam laughed. "Because I have big freakish hands?"

"Absolutely," Gabriel agreed, sleepily.

Sam's hand found it's way to the base of Gabriel's head, which he massaged rhythmically until Gabriel's neck went slack and his head rolled back to a forward position. Gabriel moaned low in his throat. "We can test your hypothesis later, but it'll cost you," Sam said, amused, continuing his pattern.

"Anything," Gabe breathed.

Sam barked a laugh. "You sure you wanna make that deal now?" he asked.

"Non redeemable until AFTER my massage," Gabe specified.

"But I still get anything. Anything I want."

"Sure, kiddo. Anything you want."

"Within what guidelines?"

"None," Gabriel answered. "Well, okay, it can't be illegal. And prefereably not harmful to anyone, especially me."

Sam chuckled. "What do you think I'm gunna ask for?"

"I assumed some sort of sexual favor," Gabe said. "Which is admittedly why I offered. But you seem to be interested in the freedom of choice I gave you, so I had to narrow it down a little."

Sam smiled. "Alright, well I can't redeem my reward until later anyway, so I'll sleep on it."

"Me too," Gabriel agreed, slipping back into his nap. 

Sam fell asleep too, with his hands in Gabriel's hair and his heart beating slow and warm. He was so glad to have Gabriel in his life, so glad to have someone that could understand him without even speaking. Sam was so relieved, mostly from his talk with Dean, or even the school year winding down, and he felt so comfortable here with Gabriel. He'd never been so comfortable with anyone in his life. He thought maybe it was because Gabriel was so patient. He'd have waited for Sam as long as it took, but because of that, because of Gabriel's patience, and his overwhelming understanding, Sam warmed right up to him. Sam was so glad to have Gabriel in his life, and more specifically, laying in his lap. He was so glad for everything in his life right then. 

That moment have could lasted forever, and Sam would have been okay. If he could spend the rest of his life with Gabriel, he would in a heartbeat. He wanted to imagine what that would be like, but he had trouble conceptualizing a forever, or even an after. He wasn't even sure what he'd do after high school, let alone college, and the rest of his life. But he couldn't imagine an after or a forever without Gabriel. He couldn't imagine one at all, but he knew if there was an after or a forever to exist within, he wanted Gabriel to exist there with him.


	48. Relax

"Hello, sir. Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior-"

"Dean!" Cas shouted, gripping Dean by the front of his shirt and yanking him inside.

"Jesus Christ, Cas," Dean grumbled, rubbing his chest after Cas released him.

"Just, please kill the spider," Cas pleaded.

Dean chuckled. "I still can't believe you called me to come kill a spider for you. And that I actually came. That's true love, right there."

"Deeeaaan," Cas complained. "Please kill it? It's really big."

"How big?" Dean asked, amused.

"Like, that big," Cas answered, pinching his thumb and pointer finger together.

"Where is it?"

"My room."

"Well," Dean said.

"What?"

Dean gestured up the stairs. "Lead the way." Cas shook his head violently, gripping Dean's sleeve. Dean rolled his eyes and started up the stairs, Cas following quickly in his wake. They got to Cas's room and Dean turned to him. "Well, where is it?"

Cas glanced around the room, still gripping Dean's arm. "It was on my pillow but I don't see it anymore."

"Yep. It's gone."

"What?" Cas asked desperately.

"It's gone," he repeated, trying to step around Cas and back into the hallway.

"No!" Cas protested, blocking Dean's way. "But what if it's still in here? What if it comes back? Dean, what if it lays eggs in my bed?!"

"Well, it was nice knowing you," Dean joked.

Cas really looked like he might start crying. "Dean!"

"Relax. I'm just messing with you. It was probably harmless anyway."

"But what about that thing where humans swallow 8 spiders on average in their sleep every year?"

Dean looked sideways at him, his eyebrows pulling together in a line. "You read too many Buzzfeed articles," he decided.

"Well you can't just leave me here alone," Cas protested as Dean walked past him.

"Who said I was leaving? I drove all the way over here," Dean answered walking down the steps. Cas followed him. "And besides, you're not alone. You have a spider."

"Don't even joke about that," Cas hissed defensively.

Dean laughed at him. "Alright," he said, turning to face Cas at the end of the stairs. Cas stood above him two steps. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas, running his hands up under the hem of his shirt. "If you're really that scared, you should come sleepover my house tonight."

Cas grabbed Dean's hands and set them on his waste. "But isn't Sam home? I don't want to make him feel weird," he reasoned, cupping Dean's face.

"Nah, he's at Gabriel's all weekend. We'll have the house to ourselves."

Cas squinted. "And what if your dad comes home again?"

Dean frowned and shrugged. "I'll just pick up the phone this time. No sweat."

Cas watched him warily. Dean's smile never wavered. "Alright..." Cas decided slowly. "I guess I can sleep over tonight."

Dean stood on his tippy toes to kiss Cas. "Excellent," he hummed.

 

 

It was a beautiful day for a picnic. The temperature had just started rising above 70 degrees, and everyone wanted to take advantage of it apparently, because when Sam and Gabriel got to the park it was packed. Gabriel had insisted on taking Sam out for a picnic; they couldn't just stay in Gabriel's backyard. That would have been way too easy. Sam had been worried that they might run into someone they might know, but the park goers were mostly children and their parents.

They sat under the same willow tree they had laid near the night of their first proper date. It was the first day of the year that they had to properly worry about getting sunburn, so they were both glad for the shade, even though it kept them a bit cooler than they would have liked.

"Do you ever think about having something like that?" Gabriel asked, taking a bite of his ham and cheese sandwich.

Sam sipped a Capri Sun. "What?"

Gabriel nodded towards a family, a couple and their two children playing on the swings together, the older child, maybe six, kicking off the ground all by herself, the youngest, no older than two, squirming in a baby swing as the father pushed him. "Do you ever think about having a family?"

Sam chuckled and looked down at his sandwich, suddenly embarrassed. "I don't even think about what I'll do after high school," he admitted. "Why? Do you?"

"Yeah," Gabriel said confidently. "I'd like to have a family, I think. I want more than one child, too. Being an only child sucks ass."

"You seem pretty well adjusted to your lifestyle," Sam observed.

"What's that supposed to mean, Winchester?" Gabe said, looking sideways at him.

Sam shrugged. "Just that you're a spoiled brat," he teased.

Gabriel scoffed. "Watch your mouth, moose. As long as I'm a spoiled brat, you're cashing in."

"I never said it was a bad thing," Sam shot back.

Gabe rolled his eyes. "It was implied," he said. "But you really don't think about having a family?"

"No," Sam replied. "My family's pretty... Well... We're very... Let's just say my family history is definitely not a good example of a happy, healthy family."

"But wouldn't that make you want to change that? Don't you want more for yourself?"

"I guess," Sam said. "Maybe. I do want to be happy, I just never thought that a family could be happy. So I guess I never saw a family in my picture of happiness."

"That's... that's really sad," Gabriel decided. "I'll tell ya what."

"What?"

"I'll be your family. There you go, you already have one happy, healthy family member. We just need a few more and we're set," Gabriel said nonchalantly.

Sam frowned. "Not any time soon, I hope."

"No," Gabriel agreed. "We'll get you a dog first. Then we can have that," he said, pointing to the family on the swings. "I'll make you love it, Sam. I promise."

"I'm looking forward to it," Sam replied. "The dog, mostly."

Gabriel laughed. "Come on, kids are cute."

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "Kids are cute."

Gabriel finished his sandwich and scooted closer to Sam, leaning his head on Sam's shoulder. "Right now is the hardest part," he said.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

"We're at the point in our lives where we're just waiting for everything to happen. We have the next few years planned out and we can just go through the paces, but that's it. We're just waiting until we can make decisions for ourselves, and live our lives," he said.

"I think you have senioritis," Sam said.

Gabriel sighed. "Yeah, I've had senioritis since my sophomore year."

Sam chuckled. "As long as it's not contagious..."

"Oh, relax. I'm sure it is," Gabriel said, kissing Sam's cheek.

"Uck," Sam grumbled, his nose wrinkling, wiping his cheek. "Germs..."

Gabriel laughed. "You want germs? I'll give you germs, Winchester," he teased, pulling Sam's face down to him.


	49. Sleepover

"Do you ever think about running away?"

"No," Dean answered quickly. They were lying side by side in the grass, holding hands, staring up at the thick blanket of grey clouds covering the cosmos, the full moon illuminating the folds in it. "Not anymore. I can't leave Sam-"

"No," Cas said delicately. "No ties. You have nothing to lose. You leave and nothing changes, except that you aren't here anymore. Would you do it?"

Dean considered it. "Not unless I could take you and Sam with me," he decided. "I'd follow you to the ends of the Earth, angel."

Cas raised a hand to Dean's cheek and stroked it lovingly. "And I, you."

"Do you ever think about running away?" Dean asked, after a moment.

Cas was quiet for a while, his hand slipping away from Dean, back down to his stomach. "Sometimes, yeah. It's not practical. It's only ever a fantasy. But yeah. Yes. I think about running away."

"Why?" Dean said quietly. "I mean, what are you running from?"

Cas smiled a sad smile. "Expectations?" he said. "Reality. Everything that isn't you."

Dean kissed Cas's temple. "You're not telling me something. What aren't you telling me?"

Cas hesitated. "I feel like the fate of the world is resting on my shoulders, Dean."

Dean frowned. "Why, love?"

"I'm not sure if I committed to Princeton for myself or for my parents."

Dean clicked his tongue and nuzzled closer to Castiel. "What is your heart saying?"

"Literally? Mostly just your name," Cas almost joked. He went on. "Figuratively?" He sighed. "I'm not sure anymore."

"My name?" Dean asked deviously.

"In every beat, I hear your name," Cas hummed, the hint of a smile in his voice.

"How interesting," Dean mused. "My heart almost never talks to me. But when it does, it knows what it wants."

Cas sighed again. "My heart knows part of what it wants," he offered. "But not the part that needs deciding."

"Well, revising," Dean clarified.

"Right," Cas said, sitting up. Dean sat up too. "And there's something else."

"What?"

"Princeton is offering me a full ride. They hand me my college tuition on a silver platter and I'm not even sure if I want to go anymore." Cas sighed once again, his voice more ragged and hitched this time. "I'm sorry."

"No," Dean said. "That's incredible, Cas. But if you're not happy-"

"I'm still going," Cas said definitely. "What I want doesn't matter anymore."

"Hey," Dean said softly, tilting Cas's chin so that he would meet his eyes. "What you want is the only thing that matters," Dean answered sternly. "Cas, you are everything to me and I will do everything in my power to make you happy. And if that means running away, then we're gone. Where would you like to go? I always wanted to see Alaska, personally."

Cas shook his head out of Dean's grip and Dean could feel the tension rising in the other boy's shoulders, his voice, the hiccuping before a sob, when he spoke. "Dean, I-"

"Shhhh," Dean hissed, pulling Cas against his chest. Cas buried his face in Dean's shirt. When Dean spoke again, he was gentle and soft. "No ties. You have nothing to lose. This is a fantasy, Cas. Let it happen." Cas was quiet, save the sobs he couldn't stifle, staining Dean's shirt. Dean went on. "So we're driving all the way to Alaska. It's summer, the windows are down. There's nothing on your mind except the road. As we get further north, like maybe close to Oregon or northern California, we start seeing fireweed, these beautiful purple fires along the road. We're getting close, and the fireweed are in full bloom, the summer is here, and it's just beginning. Your heart is light, you almost can't even feel it beating in your chest. It's so peaceful, so quiet except for the hum of the car. You're fine, you're happy."

Cas shuddered against Dean. It was calming him down, but he still didn't feel good. "How are we paying for this?" he asked quietly, trying hard to let Dean's scenario distract him. "If we're actually doing this, how do we make it practical."

Dean grimaced. "I've been moving around my whole life, Cas. We can actually do it. the practicality won't be very pretty but... it can be done."

Cas sat up straight, pulling out of Dean's embrace. "No," he decided. "I'm going to Princeton. I committed. I'm going for free. I have to."

"You don't have to do anything," Dean answered quietly. "You don't always have to be the strong one, Cas. We all have to be strong, but you don't have to do it alone. I'm with you, Cas. Every step of the way."

Cas sighed and swallowed. "I know, Dean. And... and as long as we're together, it's fine. I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Dean asked. "We can talk more-"

"No," Cas interrupted. "I'm good."

 

 

"Damn, you're good at this," Gabriel sighed, while Sam rubbed his shoulders. Gabriel was sitting on the ground, Sam on the couch in Gabriel's basement, his legs on either side of Gabriel. Sam was slightly embarrassed, reddening deeper at his comment. He kind of hoped Gabriel wouldn't enjoy it so much; he was too nervous he'd hurt him, and he felt... bored? He wasn't sure what he was feeling, but he didn't enjoy it. He focused on thinking about what he could get out of Gabriel in return.

Sam sighed, tugging his sleeves up to his elbows. "Can we be done soon?" he asked.

Gabriel's head lulled back into Sam's lap to look up at him. "You're not enjoying this, are you?" Gabriel asked.

Smiling awkwardly, Sam nodded.

Gabriel sat forward, pulling out of Sam's grip on his shoulders. "You should have said something."

"I wanted you to owe me a favor," Sam answered. 

Gabriel rolled his eyes, and hopped up on the couch next to Sam. "That isn't worth being uncomfortable."

"It might be," Sam answered. "If I choose wisely."

"And what do you want from me?" Gabriel asked. "Any ideas?"

Sam thought about it for a second. He still wasn't sure if he wanted to redeem his favor now or later, but now seemed like a good enough time as any.

"I think I have an idea..." he mused.


	50. Human Canvas

"Should we..." Gabriel hesitated, turning in a circle, Sam nearly bumping into him. "Should we go to the bathroom?" he whispered quizzically, cocking his head.

Sam frowned, trying not to move, lest the plastic bags in his arms rustle. They had sneaked out of Gabriel's house to get what they'd need for Sam's favor. They couldn't find a craft store that was open, so they settled for Walgreen's. They had to be careful not to wake Gabriel's parents as they slunk back to Gabriel's room. Sam shook his head. "Too small," he whispered. "We'll just put a towel down, it's fine."

Gabriel scowled up at him in the dim light, lingering by the basement door. "But-"

"It'll wash right off," Sam argued. "It's finger paint."

"And what if it doesn't wash off?" Gabriel argued, pulling open the basement door. Sam shut it gently behind him. "What if it stains my bed, or my carpet, or-"

"It won't!" Sam shot back. "Why would they make children's finger paint that stains things?"

Gabriel frowned, turning away from him. "Sorry, I'm just a little nervous. No one's ever painted on me before. I didn't even know it was a thing people did."

Sam bristled. "It's not that weird," he said defensively. "You don't think it's... intimate?" he asked, for lack of a more precise word.

"Sure it is," Gabriel answered. "I just mean... I've never heard of it being a thing before."

"Well, it is," Sam answered, unable to keep the defensiveness from his voice. He had been embarrassed to ask Gabriel if he would do this, especially about the end. But he wanted to work on being more comfortable with physical intimacy, especially with Gabriel. "You could paint me, too, if it would make you feel better," Sam offered.

Gabriel laughed. "I'm okay. My talent ends with my voice."

"That's debatable," Sam winked. His joke earned him playful shove.

 

 

Sam wasn't too happy about his choice of materials. He had originally planned on using finger paint, as it was very washable, and probably the easiest on skin. But he wanted Crayola, or at least some kind of well known brand, rather than name brand. And he had refused to even think about buying the scratchy, children's watercolor brushes they had, so he had opted for the slightly more expensive makeup brushes, which would also be easier on Gabriel's skin. They also picked up some cleansing wipes on their way through the makeup section, also not cheap, but necessary.

He had everything set up, the towel down on Gabriel's floor, beside the bed, paints and brushes and wash clothes on a separate towel to the side "just in case." And Gabriel was all spread out before him, muscles and ribs forming delicate shed lines across his back, dividing it into planes of smooth skin. Sam was having trouble with the angle, so he asked Gabriel if it was okay before practically climbing on top of him. Then, tentatively, he began painting.

Gabriel seized up at first, his shoulders scrunching together in response to the cold paint, before relaxing and laying his head on his folded arms. "Any idea what you're painting?" he asked quietly.

Sam sniffled, brushing hair out of his eyes with the back of his hand. "Not yet, no."

Gabriel hid a worried frowned, but didn't bring it up again. "What made you want to do this?"

"I don't know," Sam reasoned. "I guess... I guess it's a very subtle form of expression, and intimacy, for that matter."

"What do you mean?"

Sam shrugged, then remembered Gabriel couldn't really see him. "Just that... you're my canvas right now. Art is a very personal thing. It's one thing to create a portrait of someone, to scrutinize every detail, to study their face for hours, days, until you can create an accurate rendition. But to use someone as a canvas... It's not even like you're just watching me paint something, or I'm walking you through my creative process. I'm sharing that part of myself with you, physically," Sam said, his voice low and sweet, his words meaningful.

Gabriel softened. "I had no idea you're into art so much," he said.

Sam chuckled. "Why do you think I joined stage crew? That's, like, a third art."

Gabriel considered this, then closed his eyes and relaxed again, leaving Sam to his work.

Sam's painting had begun to take shape. He had been intrigued by the offensive yellow color that had come in the set, and became determined to soften it. He had no palate to work with, so he had found himself branching the yellow out from Gabriel's shoulder blades, and blending in orange and brown as he went. Slowly, the yellow blobs began to form into a pair of wings, arching delicately down Gabriel's back, loose feathers tracing down his arms and along his sides. Gabriel giggled when Sam pushed an arm away to paint Gabriel's side. Sam meticulously shaded the feathering details into the wings until they almost looked real enough to reach out and touch. The orange and brown tones Sam blended into the yellow muted it into a smooth, rich gold color, and it didn't look like children's washable finger paint by the time he had finished.

When Sam was done, he tucked a brush behind his ear and sat back to inspect his work. He couldn't help but smile to himself. As the paint dried, even in the bad lighting, the gold he'd managed to coax out of the offensive yellow made golden highlights light up in Gabriel's hair, and golden undertones come out in his eyes.

Gabriel kept turning around and around in front of the bathroom mirror, trying desperately to get a proper look. Sam laughed at him. "What are you laughing at? This is incredible," Gabriel said.

Sam smirked. "You don't wanna wash it off?" he asked promiscuously, nodding to Gabriel's shower.

Gabriel smiled deviously. "Of course," he answered. "But... could we do this again some time?"

"Sure," Sam laughed. "I'm glad you had fun."

"The fun's not over," Gabriel reminded him, snaking an arm behind the shower curtain to turn the shower on. "Help me wash off?" he teased.


	51. Out of My Comfort Zone

Sam clambered into the shower behind Gabriel, not as eager to get started as he was to escape the nakedness of the open bathroom, the distinctly unlocked door posing the threat of discovery. Sam knew it was irrational, to worry about getting caught or to worry about exposure in general. There was no one here but Gabriel, but for some reason Sam felt safer behind the shower curtain.

Gabriel recoiled at the hot water, stumbling back into Sam, who caught him and held him close. "Hot," Gabriel hissed, leaning out of Sam's embrace to turn the temperature down. Steam had begun to collect in the air around them, but it mellowed out after the water cooled a bit. Gabriel turned in Sam's arms and stood on his tippy toes to kiss him, humming against Sam's mouth.

Sam was getting better at letting his guard down. A week ago, if he had even imagined climbing into the shower with Gabriel, in such close quarters, he would have been terrified. But not only was he fine, he was actually graceful, even with every surface within arm's reach slathered in soap and running water, including himself and Gabriel. He kept forgetting that Gabriel was such a patient and forgiving person.

Most of his nerves were because of his lack of experience in contrast to Gabriel's plethera. But Gabriel was always gentle with him; not gentle in the sense that he was afraid Sam might break, but gentle in that he didn't want to make Sam uncomfortable. Gabriel was slowly letting Sam learn how to enjoy himself in physical intimacy, rather than be tentative about it. And Sam was grateful for that, in spite of his embarrassment.

Having shower sex was like doing partner yoga. Unless you were the same relative size, one person was designated the muscle and the other was designated the feather. Obviously, Sam was the muscle in this situation. Sam made a mental note to use his next favor for partner yoga.

It was hard to pay attention to what he was doing while Sam was worried about falling, or dropping Gabriel, or his original fears of screwing something up. Sam's back ached from the unnatural, overcompensated arc he struggled to maintain while holding Gabriel, who had wrapped himself around Sam, and was mostly useless in the effort of supporting his own weight. Sam's muscles shook and strained under the pressure, but his passion didn't allow it to hold him back. Sam was not acting so much like a rookie tonight. He was playing the lead, and he let all of his previous insecurities drain out of him.

Sam hefted Gabriel higher, grunting with the effort of it, until Gabriel's arms were wrapped around his neck, fingers digging into shoulders, hips. Sam followed the weight forward, pressing Gabriel against the cold shower wall, and forcing him into it took a bit of the stress off of Sam's back. Maybe it was Sam's surefootedness, or the fact that it was nearing on 3am and no one was around to hear, but Gabriel, who was normally all lips, was moaning loud and unyielding. His head fell back against the shower wall, mouth falling open to emit a much higher pitch than his usual throaty moan, voice hitching with every thrust. And Sam, who was normally all timid, pent up energy, was letting loose, and kissing the corners of Gabriel's slack lips. 

When they had turned off the shower, the mirror fogged over, it was nearly 4 in the morning, and the sun just beginning to rise.

 

 

Sam absentmindedly picked gold paint from under his fingernails as Gabriel climbed into bed next to him. "Let's finish with a bath next time," Sam suggested, shifting his aching back to a better angle.

Gabriel smirked, curling up against Sam's side. Sam storked Gabriel's back idly. "Any reason?" he asked, amused.

"Well, I did all the work, first of all," he started, and when Gabe scoffed, he rolled his eyes. "Second, it would be much calmer, and quieter."

"I know my shower is technically a tub too. But it's pretty small, Sam. You can't even fit your head under the shower head. How are the two of us gunna cram into that little tub?"

Sam bit his lip. He shouldn't even think about it, let alone offer it up as if it were a real possibility. But the prospect seemed so inviting, and there was a very real chance of everything working in their favor. Inversely, there was a very real and very dangerous chance of it all going horribly wrong. The bathtub Sam had in mind was at his house, but it was also in the bathroom that connected directly to his father's room. He knew it was a bad idea. Steeling himself, he made his decision.

"We could go to my house," he decided, uncertainty creeping into his voice.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow at him. "Really. After all this time avoiding your house like the plague you're about to offer it up as a resonable place for us to have shower sex?" Gabriel tested, his tone just shy of sarcasm.

Sam shrugged sheepishly. "It could work."

"Didn't your dad catch Cas and Dean-"

"Alright, so it's not perfect," Sam interrupted, holding up a hand. "It's just an option."

Gabe had no trouble dropping the subject. "If you're consenting to a bathtub does that mean there's a chance I could convince you to have pool sex one day?"

Sam frowned, frazzled dimples indenting his cheeks as he bristled. "But that's outside. Like... out doors. You have neighbors, and parents, and windows..."

"Yes, and I have a pool, and a boyfriend. Come on, don't you think it would be fun?"

Something nagged at Sam that Gabriel was not a pool sex virgin, and that he was so eager to drag Sam into it because he'd done it before, and wanted to do it again. Sam gulped, and shoved the thought away. He tried to focus on his heartbeat. "Maybe..."

"Yes?"

"I'm already out of my comfort zone, here," Sam argued. Gabriel pouted up at him, and he sighed, trying hard to reign in his breathing. "I'm not saying no. But I'm not saying yes either."

Gabriel smiled and kissed Sam's neck. "I'll just wait until you owe me a favor."

"Then I will do my best to keep that from happening," Sam joked, only half kidding.


	52. Bad Timing

May was mostly uneventful. Mostly.

Sam's birthday would go by quickly, come and gone by the end of the first week, and the rest of the month dragged. It was a filler month, spent only waiting for summer, though when you put it that way, that's what nearly every month ends up being anyway.

But this May was exciting. Sam would be turning 17, and getting his driver's license, provided he pass the test. And Gabriel was reprising his role as Lumiere for nearly the whole month, and a bit into June. It was going to be an excellent prelude to the summer that would follow.

 

Sam wasn't sure what he had expected, but it wasn't nothing. He walked down stairs on his birthday to an empty house, neither John nor Dean home from wherever they had each been the night before. Sam began to worry that perhaps his father wouldn't make it home in time for his test tomorrow. And he had waited up for Dean until he couldn't keep his eyes open. He must have stayed at Cas's.

Sam waited around for a couple hours, waiting for someone to return to the house, but no one came. Disgruntled, he decided to shower and get ready; Gabriel was taking him out for a birthday dinner, and a celebration of rehearsals officially ending. Gabriel had the entire following week off because it was tech week, and then the following Monday would be opening night.

Minutes before Gabriel had promised to arrive, Dean rolled up carrying a large cupcake and a card. "Happy birthday, Sammy," Dean chimed when Sam opened the door. "Where you going?"

Sam blinked at him. "Gabriel's taking me out to dinner. I told you about this."

Dean snapped like he'd remembered. "Right. Well, take the cupcake. I don't trust myself not to eat it. But the card needs some explaining, so we can wait til tomorrow for that one," he said, handing Sam the cupcake. Sam eyed the heavy envelope in Dean's hand, a vaguely key shaped bulge protruding from the side, wondering what could need explaining about a card. He didn't have time to ask though, as Gabriel pulled up then and Sam dashed from the house, eager to be free of it.

"Happy birthday, love," Gabriel sang, leaning to kiss Sam as he buckled himself in.

"Thank you," Sam answered. "Where are we going."

"Well," Gabriel said, as he pulled out of the driveway, waving to Dean still watching them from the door. Dean waved back. "We have reservations for... I don't remember what it's called. Or where it is. Hey, there's a map in the door, if you could maybe navigate?" Gabriel asked sweetly, smiling at Sam.

Sam rolled his eyes, but unfolded the paper. "Get on the highway," he said. "I can't believe you're making me navigate on my birthday," he grumbled.

 

 

"Dean, no!"

"Cas, please."

"Dean my parents are coming home tonight. They aren't gunna be happy if-"

Dean shook his hand in the air, silencing him. "Cas, please. Just, hide her in your room or something. Please?"

"Dean, I can't hide a dog in my room," Cas hissed, shoving the leash back into Dean's hand. He stood in the doorway, blocking Dean's way, looming over him and the puppy Dean had bought for Sam for his birthday. She was a chocolate lab, husky mix named Riley, and she hadn't even learned to pick her ears up yet, though the lady at the shelter estimated that she wouldn't even pick them up all the way anyway. They weren't sure how old she was, but she was definitely a puppy, with rich brown baby fur, a feathered tail that curled over her back in a big bush, and warm, honey eyes. 

Dean hadn't even planned on actually getting the dog, he had just wandered into the shelter on his way home and found himself falling for little Riley, sure that she and Sam would get along beautifully. This was a week ago, and Dean had asked the shelter to hold her there for the week, though he was a day too early. Now it was Saturday, and Riley's week in the shelter was over, and Dean had nowhere to keep her. So he went to Cas begging and pleading.

"Just one night, please?" Dean asked. He bent and scooped Riley off the ground and held her to Cas's face. "Look at her wittle face. Come on, Cas."

Cas glowered as Riley licked his cheeks. "How am I supposed to let her out to go to the bathroom without my parents noticing?"

Dean sighed. "Alright, then will you help me think of a solution?"

"Can't you just give her to Sam tonight?"

"No, my dad's home tonight."

"And how do you expect your dad to react to this dog?" Cas asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

Dean tapped his foot, shifting his weight. "Uh... I was hoping that wouldn't come up, actually," he admitted, staring at his shoes.

Cas threw up his arms, exasperated. "Well, if one of us is getting in trouble for this, it should be you. I won't let you drag me into this."

"Ugh, come on, Cas!"

Cas watched him for a long time, squinting. "It might be okay if you stay too..." he said quietly, and Dean didn't agree, though he knew better than to say anything. Of course it would make Cas's parents more angry to find a dog and Cas's boyfriend staying over in their house, but Dean didn't mention it.

He was just glad to have a place to hide the dog.

But it turned out to be a longer night than either of them had anticipated, Cas waiting up for his parents, and Dean taking care of the puppy. And when Dean woke up at 2pm the next morning, he rush out of the house without even waking Cas to say goodbye.


	53. Sam's Birthday

Sam woke up an hour later than usual to a small, but dense weight being dropped onto his abdomen. He blinked the sleep out of his eyes to see a puppy pawing at him and licking his face, and a smiling Dean sitting on the side of his bed.

"Dean, what the-"

"Happy birthday!" Dean sang as Sam scrambled to sit up against his headboard and hold the puppy in place. "Her name's Riley," he said, handing Sam the envelope he'd seen the night before.

"Oh my- Dean! Dad let me get you a dog!?" Sam exclaimed, ignoring the card altogether to coddle his new friend. She was so small and so sweet. Sam thought he might cry. "I can't believe you got me a dog!"

"Well, Dad doesn't exactly know about her yet. But I figured, you're getting a job this summer, right? So the two of us could totally pay for her on our own."

"You said her name's Riley?" Sam asked.

"That's right," Dean answered. "The lady at the shelter said they think she's a couple months old, maybe two or three, and they think she's a chocolate lab, Siberian husky mix. Either way, she's a puppy, she's a mix, and she's yours!"

"I don't know what to say," Sam said, finally looking past his new puppy to Dean.

Dean snorted. "Say thanks, for starters."

"Thank you!" Sam replied.

Dean smiled and reached for the envelope Sam had discarded on the table. "No problem, Sammy," he said, pulling a small red collar out of the bag and securing it around Riley's neck. "Now come on down stairs. Cas taught me how to make eggs in a hat."

"What's that?" Sam asked, picking up Riley to swing his legs out from under the covers.

Dean rose too. "You make a hat out of bread and put an egg in it."

Sam laughed. "Sounds great."

"You'll need your energy for that driving test later, huh?"

Sam sighed. Now this was the morning he had been hoping for yesterday. "Thanks, Dean," he said.

"No problem, Sammy."

 

 

Sam aced his test. He still had no car to drive, but now he could legally drive himself by himself. Dean let him drive the Impala to school. And Dean had also agreed to distract their father so that Sam could bring Gabriel over to see the new puppy.

Sam couldn't wait to see Gabriel, the events of the past few hours still burning happiness and elation in his stomach. He was eager to tell Gabriel about his new puppy, and he was even more excited to go home and play with her all day long.

He was greeted by more surprises at lunch time. Gabriel had made him an entire platter of cookies, as if the very fancy watercolor set he'd given him at dinner the night before wasn't enough. Sam had never been happier; he was almost as happy as he was during musical. Almost.

 

 

Gabriel and Sam pulled up in front of Sam's house after school, and Sam felt his blood pressure rising. He felt anxiety creeping up his limbs and forced it down beneath his former feeling of invincibility. Gabriel had never been inside his house before. It was just too risky. Sam couldn't ever bring himself to let this happen, even when he was sure his father wouldn't be home for days. Dean and Cas had been caught here too many times, and Sam had never felt safe in his home, even when he was the only one inside it.

Sam had to trust Dean. He had to trust that he, himself, wouldn't overdo it and that there would be a phone call to react to before Dean and his father would return. He had to trust himself to be aloof about all of his worrying, and that Gabriel wouldn't get too comfortable here.

With a shaking breath, Sam reminded himself that it was his birthday, that everything was okay, and that nothing bad was going to happen.

They climbed the front steps and Riley barked and jumped at the window. Gabriel was practically squeezing before he'd even properly met her.

Sam caught Riley before she could make a break for it into the street. Gabriel followed him inside.

"Sam, she's adorable!" Gabriel practically yelled, when Sam had closed the door and let her go. Gabriel immediately sank to his knees to welcome the dog into his arms. "There's two healthy, happy family members. Our family is growing," he joked, almost warningly.

Sam smiled and sunk to the ground as well. "Yeah..." he agreed, scratching behind Riley's floppy ears, which she still had yet to pick up.

"You okay?" Gabriel asked, but he wasn't looking at Sam. He was glancing around the dark house, eerily quiet despite the delightful scrape of Riley's nails on the creaking hardwood.

Sam shook himself, more out of frustration than anything. "Yeah," he said, not very confidently. He cleared his throat. "Uh, yeah... It's just, I kind of hate this place. And I kind of hate that I let Dean convince me to bring you here."

"Hey," Gabriel responded. "Dean didn't make you do anything. And he's doing you a favor, anyway."

"I know, I know," Sam dismissed him, running his hands through his windswept hair. "I guess I'm just freaking out then."

Gabriel looked at him then, but Sam looked away. Riley had wandered out of Gabriel's arms and over to Sam. She tugged at his shoelace absently, plopping onto the ground next to him. Sam ran his fingers along her soft baby fur. "We can leave if you want," Gabriel offered.

"No," Sam said quickly, looking up. "Remember what I said before, about being afraid to be afraid to be with you?"

Gabriel pulled his eyebrows together in an effort to keep up with him. He sniffled and took in a deep breath. "Yeah," he exhaled. "What about it?"

"I don't want to be afraid that I'll be afraid to be with you. And the first step of destroying that idea is... facing my fear... I think?" Sam said uncertainly, as if looking for approval.

Gabriel frowned. "I'm not following."

Sam sighed. "Me either. Ugh, okay, let me start over."

"Please."

"I don't want to be afraid to be with you. And I haven't been, not yet. I mean..." he sighed again. "I want this to be okay. Not because I'm okay with where we are, or what we're doing. I want it to be okay because... because I'm with you. I want to be okay with anything I do because I'll be doing it with you. Do you understand?"

Gabriel nodded, a smile creeping onto his lips. "I think so," he said. "I want to be okay with you too."

"Good," Sam breathed. "So we'll stay."

"Okay."

"Alright."


	54. Opening Night

Gabriel's parents really liked Sam, which was good, considering Gabriel had to be at the theater 2 hours earlier than the house would open. Sam was invited to eat a celebratory dinner with Gabriel and his parents, then attend the musical with them afterward. Sam had anticipated 2 hours of awkward silences, but it was more like 20 questions, most of which about college or the future, some about his mysterious, if not, sketchy family. Sam answered all of their questions with a smile, and asked a few of his own. The 2 hours flew by.

And soon he was sitting in the theater, dead center of the house, the perfect seat, with Gabriel's close family extending to his right, and Gabriel's friends to his left. Castiel sat next to Sam, and proudly told Sam about how happy he was that Dean had so graciously offered to skip the event to cover for Sam.

"Your brother is really making an effort," Cas said, almost like a proud parent.

Sam chuckled to himself. "Took him long enough," he joked.

Cas rolled his eyes. "Be grateful, Sam. He's being very selfless."

"I know, I know," Sam said, brushing him off. "You're right. He even told me he'd check in on Riley if he could."

"What a sweet boy."

Sam snorted. But before he could say anything else, the house lights flickered, then dropped, and the orchestra began.

 

 

Gabriel squirmed with excitement in the green room, hearing the overture start up on the speaker in the corner. Jess squeezed his hand and smiled at him, warm and excited. This was her first show as a secondary lead, and Gabriel's first on a proper stage.

"Sam's out there," he practically whispered. "It's still strange that I won't see him backstage."

Jess smiled. "Do you think he'll come backstage during intermission?"

"Probably not," Gabriel said. "He's too good a kid. But I did convince him to go out with us afterward. He isn't supposed to be out past 11 but he's making an exception for me." Gabriel cringed when he heard the words come out of his own mouth. Every time he talked about Sam to someone who didn't know how, he was always so disgustingly infatuated, it bordered on bragging.

But Jess giggled her singsong giggle. "Good. I like Sam. I'd love to talk with him again." Gabriel nervously adjusted the mic pack on the top of his pants and shimmied his hands into his candlestick hands. "You know our scene isn't for another three songs, right?"

Gabe sighed and dropped his candlestick hands. "I know. I'm just nervous."

"Well, don't be," she said. "Your boyfriend's in the audience."

"And that's supposed to make me less nervous?"

 

 

Gabriel knew his part well. He'd played it the year before in school, though this was a proper theater, and the audience would be expecting more than a few good notes. And while Sam hadn't been in the wings the last time he played Lumiere either, backstage still felt hollow without him. 

Gabriel was professional and precise, the nerves he had never messing with him. He never missed a beat, and among the few deviations from his last time playing Lumiere, he was allowed to improv something. There was a scene in the first act, the library scene, where the Beast shows Belle his library, and Lumiere and Coggsworth run off with their usual witty banter. Gabriel had a line to deliver that ended in whatever he felt like saying. He had to give the name of a book, or an author, and say that it was one of his favorites. In rehearsal he had used all of his best book puns for this line, however he had decided only seconds before the line to change it this time.

Coggsworth ran off ahead in front of him, calling for Lumiere to keep up, and as Gabriel passed the bookshelf he shouted, "Oh, this is one of my favorites! By the great Sam Winchester!"

Sam turned red.

Everyone there who knew Sam, which seemed like everyone, let out a surprised laugh.

The scene continued.

 

 

"You think you're so clever, don't you" Sam teased as Gabriel ran to him after the show. Gabriel was only wearing an undershirt and spandex shorts, having stripped off his costume only seconds before.

Gabriel hummed as Sam kissed him. "You liked that, did you?" he winked. "They do call me the Trickster around here. I have a reputation to uphold."

"Well uphold it without me next time, will ya?"

"Noted," Gabriel answered. "Did you like the show?"

"Yeah, you were incredible."

"Thank you, thank you," Gabriel said, mock bowing. "What was your favorite part?"

"I liked your French accent," Sam told him.

"Oui?" Gabriel asked in his accent. "Perhaps I should use it more often?"

Sam laughed at him. "That's okay. Your American accent is good too."

Gabriel laughed too. "But monsieur! I cannot stop!"

Sam rolled his eyes. "It's fine for when you're a candle. Not when you're my boyfriend."

"But I'm always your boyfriend," Gabriel argued.

"It's fine when you're a candle, not when your out of character," Sam clarified. "Is that better?"

Gabriel laughed and reached up on his tippy toes to kiss Sam's cheek. "I have to go say hi to my parents. I'll meet you in the dressing room, and then we can head out."

"Okay," Sam called after Gabriel as he bounded down the hall, searching for his parents.


	55. If You Think of Anything

The cast party was at the head director's house, which was strange. Sam felt like a trophy wife, clinging to Gabriel's arm, being introduced to very friendly but also very intimidating adults that worked in Gabriel's professional theater company with him. He was star struck without any prior knowledge of his awe; these people had such exciting lives, working in theater, and getting paid for it. Sam would love to get a job in theater. And it had only just then occurred to Sam how prestigious Gabriel's job was. Gabriel was so comfortable and familiar to him that he hadn't stopped to realize how much bigger and better this job was than their little high school musical, which was dwarfed by the Carlion Theater and anyone in it.

Sam was offered drinks under the table, as was Gabriel, but where Gabriel happily complied, Sam declined. One of them had to drive them home and Sam had to be home at 1am, at the latest. Or else he could ruin Dean's generosity, and such a thing was so fleeting and delicate he didn't want to even chance disrupting it.

Sam had felt okay being towed around by Gabriel, he was fine as long as he knew someone. But there was one point in the night where he'd turned around and Gabriel was gone.

Luckily, a somewhat familiar face had found him. Jess had caught him looking lost next to a stray bowl of chips and came to his rescue.

"Where's Gabriel?" she asked, coming within earshot.

Sam started when she spoke. He sighed and attempted to laugh it off. "Uh... I'm not sure actually."

"Well, you looked a little lost over here," she observed.

"Ha. Yeah, I guess I am. I'm not really one for parties."

"Can I ask you something kind of weird?" Jess asked, tilting her head. Her blonde curls listed over her shoulder.

Sam swallowed and shuffled his feet. "Sure," he nodded. "Shoot."

She squinted at him, and he met her gaze. "Do we know each other from somewhere? I... I just feel this weird connection to you."

Sam almost laughed. Almost. But he had to admit, he felt this ambiguous pull towards her as well. She did seem familiar, now that he thought about it. He had been equating that familiar feeling to her just being a friendly person. But now that he knew she felt it too... well maybe he wasn't going crazy.

He shook himself. "Uh... maybe you know my older brother, Dean?" he asked awkwardly. Sam wasn't entirely sure why he was trying to dismiss this.

She persisted. "No," she shook her head. "The name "Dean" doesn't ring any bells. But "Sam" definitely does. You don't-"

"I didn't say that," Sam said in a rush. He composed himself. "I feel like I know you too. I was just trying to consider everything."

Jess nodded, and the tension in her shoulders dropped. Sam felt tension seeping out of his gut too. He had't realized he'd been holding his breath. "Maybe we've just seen each other around, ya know, without realizing it. We do live in the same town."

It's more like a city, Sam thought. The odds of them meeting so many times in passing was unlikely. But Sam didn't mention it. He wanted closure as much as she did, he was sure. "I've only lived here for about a year and a half," he said quietly.

Jess frowned. "Really? I could swear I know you. Like... not even just your face. I feel like I know your voice, your mannerisms. You're so familiar to me." Her voice caught. "I'm sorry. That was weird."

"No," Sam said. "I know what you mean. I feel it too. I just can't put my finger on it."

"My stage lover meets my real lover! How awkward!" Sam knew it was Gabriel before he even saw him. It was too soon to tell if it was time to go home; you could never base how drunk Gabriel was on the content of his conversations, the guy's too much of a wild card. Anything could come out of his mouth at any moment, drunk or sober. When he wrapped his arm around Sam's waist and kissed his cheek, he didn't smell of alcohol, so Sam relaxed a bit.

Sam cleared his throat, but Jess remained perfectly poised. "I was just asking Sam about how to two of you met," she improvised.

Sam nodded awkwardly. "Where'd you go?" Sam said low, to Gabriel. "Were you off having fun without me?"

"Not too much fun," Gabriel promised. "It's almost one. Time to get Cinderella home," he joked, pulling his keys out of his pocket.

Sam blushed. "Alright, I'll take those." Sam snatched the keys to the Kia from Gabriel before he could make a fuss.

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "I'll get our coats," he mumbled, padding off toward the front door.

Jess giggled once Gabriel had left them and Sam thought it must have been the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard. He bit his lip. "Hey," Jess said quietly, stepping into Sam's personal space. Sam panicked for a heartbeat, attempting to step away but his back was against the wall already. She took his arm and rolled up his sleeve. He didn't remember her retrieving the marker, but she wrote her phone number on his arm in blue ink. "If you think of anything, anything at all," she said, watching him with her blue eyes from under her eyelashes, "Call me, okay?"

Sam swallowed the lump in his throat and forced himself to maintain her gaze. She smelled like vanilla and... and... the only thing he could smell was vanilla. She flooded his senses, and he didn't start breathing again until he'd nodded and she'd stepped away from him, disappearing into the party. 

Shaken up, Sam hurried to the door to retrieve his boyfriend before he drove off without him.

**Author's Note:**

> Original story at: https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/45831163-stage-fright
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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